There are good days and then there are bad days….

I wish the only way that this statement made sense would be by adding the word ‘hair’ before the word ‘days’. So that we could only relate the bad to something as superficial as hair. But that is not the case. Life is not about bad hair days but about actual bad days when everything seems to go south. There is nothing wrong in acknowledging that life can be difficult. There is nothing wrong in accepting that we can make mistakes too or rather we tried but things did not turn our way. If you are wondering why should we ponder about the bad rather than just think or hope for the good, then the answer is because there is no other way. It is necessary to accept everything that life offers to you with a pinch of salt. We always wish for the best, but we have to prepare for the worst.

The reason being it makes us real and human. It is important to pamper ourselves with ‘self-love’ and make our mind feel supportive rather than taking it on some ‘guilt-trip’ over and over again. We think about this only when we are sad but my real motive was to think about it even when everything appears to be good. We have to acknowledge the significance of ups and downs. There is equal mixture of good and bad things for us in life. While we strive to pick the good, we cannot ignore the bad. The real key to embracing life is to make way for the bitter/tangy/boring/undesirable moments too.

I accept that it is easy to say this under a sound frame of mind. We all turn philosophical when we have an assigned time slot to ponder. But how do we react when the reality hits us? We tend to respond in different ways. There cannot be a right or wrong way to do it. But at the end, it may help if we allow our emotions to vent out. It starts by acknowledging the presence of a bad day. May be half the battle is won when we realize that nothing seems to go our way. We may have to make peace with the situation right in front of our eyes. We cannot prepare for bad days in advance. Neither can we celebrate for the good ones much before they unfold. The key is to be there for both the happy and the sad. 

If you feel low in life, it is important to acknowledge it. It is all a part of the bigger picture. Just as those overwhelming emotions made their way into your life, the good ones will too. There will be ample scope for the happier days when we can express gratitude in the truest sense. How we react in our bad times reflects over our experience in the good ones. Make way for the bad so that the good gets its chance too. 

In no way, am I prescribing the need to have low times. And though we always pray for the best, the worst finds its way on its own. What we can do is keep ourselves calm and stable as much as possible. There is no right way to react but it is essential to find our own peace. You may benefit from listening to your favorite songs or simply walking it out. You may want to spend time in the natural surroundings or dive into the world of books. The options are endless but the final choice to pick one over the other is all yours. 

The best way to deal with bad days is to start by recognizing its presence. This clears away all the clouded emotions giving way for a solution. A clouded mind is more like a chocked passage. It needs to be cleared to move to the next step. You may not have a solution which is fine too. You may not know how to react. But you can at least be one step closer to the outcome. People deal with problems in different ways. As far as you keep a stable mind with a desire to come out of it, nothing is lost. And if you believe something good will come out of the bad, you must congratulate yourself. It may not be possible to find the real reason of why things happen, but it is always possible to find the disguised purpose in your own way. Since they say everything happens for a reason, what is the harm in creating one? If it can get you out of the trouble with a ray of hope towards something better, then why not? 

If we are able to be in the moment of the good or the bad, we can take charge of the situation. It is quite obvious we love the good days to their fullest with the desire to extract the most of it, but it also helps if we can be receptive to the bad. That way we may value everything that happens to us. No one said it is easy. No one promised us roses. We can only hope for them. But they did promise us ups and downs. They did say let the sun set for it to rise again. Let it create immense darkness in your life to make way for a brighter tomorrow. Because only then can we appreciate the value of everything that unfolds. We may take things for granted if we do not realize the significance of good and bad. We may not be able to appreciate it right away, but the bad makes us more resilient. It prompts us to find a way out of everything. It pushes us to find the inner strength hidden deep within. Because though we may not be able to admit it, but we are way stronger than the little credit that we give to ourselves.  

Here is to being more in the moment to take charge of the days as and when they come. Here is to love the good and wait for it with bated breath. Also, here is to the bad with a hope that it teaches us something valuable. Here is to the cocktail of good and bad days because life needs the variety to be exciting/livable and amazing at the end. It wouldn’t be called living if we did not experience it all. 

Screen chat or live talk?

Has your shiny smartphone that you carry around actually made you smarter when it comes to communication or has it turned conversation into something absolutely difficult?  

I picked this question as I turned to the last page of an interesting book on digital communication (Reclaiming conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle). With every turning page I felt connected to the realities of this new-found digital screen conversation. The book spoke to me as though it picked every single thought from my mind and put it into black and white prints right in front of my eyes. Though it resonated with my thoughts and came across as an interesting read, I felt an underlying question that seemed to bother me. A question that didn’t cause any major damage or need an immediate attention, but still one that kept me thinking for days on end. And as a self-confessed wonderer that I am (call it occupational hazard of playing with words); I was tempted to see if it relates to me in any way.

Has quick screen chat on ‘n’ number of easy communication apps made the job easier or has it made us hollow when it comes to live face-to-face talk? 

Has it hidden our unpreparedness of speech under a convenient disguise of texts and letters or has it exposed us to the realities of not talking enough? 

And finally, has it helped us understand the significance of heart-to-heart conversation with loved ones and the necessity of being in touch with everyone around?

I know these are lot of questions from one single book, but that is how it inspires us to relate with something in our own life. I do not intend to undermine the importance of screen chats in any way. If it wasn’t for these convenient apps, I wouldn’t be able to be in tune with my people all around the globe, while we battle the unavoidable reality of distance and time-zone. I wouldn’t enjoy the fun of sending messages in a group conversation hours and hours after the whole event as a self-confessed ‘tube light’ or writing about how I feel whenever and wherever it seems right. It is extremely important to connect over the convenience of screen chat to be in touch forever. So, in a nutshell, if we have agreed over the necessity of screen chats, where is the problem, you ask? 

The hesitation arises if and when we are not able to articulate in real words, when it is easier to type out rather than speak for the lack of good medium. I do understand the subjective nature of this matter. It can mean different things in different situations. We cannot possibly dive into sensitive conversations about overly sensitive topics through digital means. But I do sense the overall convenience of hiding behind screen texts. It may communicate your thoughts without revealing the true context which can go one way or the other. It is difficult to express or rather quite unusual to convey what and how you feel if you are tuned behind the screen. 

It only highlights the importance of a conscious thought behind our conversations. We cannot possibly shut our screens to talk to every single person face-to-face. For the convenience of time, it is necessary to turn to screen chats whenever and wherever possible, but not at the cost of spoiling the real bond. It is not necessary to treat every single thought as urgent and express it out into convenient messages. Let us keep the essence of real talk ‘real’ as much as possible. There is no right or wrong way to it. At the end, conveying the thought matters. How and when you choose to do it matters if the choice is yours in the first place. 

We may not realize it but rising social awkwardness can be mapped to this comfort of online talk. Though social media platforms and instant messaging apps make it easy to reach out to someone, they cannot eliminate the warmth of live talks. It cannot grab away the sentiment of connecting to someone in real time. Live talks stand for being attentive to someone in the here and now. It means you are giving your moments of time then and there for your whole-hearted support. 

One of the popularly considered conveniences of screen chat is the ability to multi-task. It makes it easy to do multiple things at once at your pace and your desire. But then, is it necessary to consider any and every kind of communication as a form of task? It arises due to our ‘always online, always connected’ syndrome, but is it good? Slowly and steadily, we may be moving away from the real essence of pure communication.

I realize some of these doubts may arise due to my growing affiliation for written words. While I find happiness behind the screen as part of the job, I may be moving away from live talks or it can be the other way. May be, I am overthinking about the distinction between these two forms of communication, when all that is needed is to put your words across- written or spoken, does not really matter. 

This is when I will need you to step in – what is your take over screen chats and live talks? Does it matter or is it nothing to think about? Do pour in your feedback to my wondering mind because it truly helps -every single time! And on a parting note, I understand you will probably type in your thoughts but let’s agree to keep the irony aside, just this time. 

It’s better played in reality than in the head

They say imagination makes us creative. It helps to frame thoughts, ideas and plans much before the reality unfolds. It is good to have some idea in mind in order to be prepared. No wonder plans and preparations play an important role in our way of work. No task is big or small when it comes to getting started with a game-plan in mind. 

But shouldn’t we restrict this form of planning to a certain extent to prevent unnecessary flow of worries? 

Does it make sense to imagine/think/assume/believe about everything that can happen much before it actually occurs? 

Is it extracting fun when you think about an activity in the future or is it essential to ‘just be prepared’? 

Can your excessive imagination or expectation ruin the reality or does it add to the overall charm? 

There are so many questions when it comes to thinking about the future or playing it in our imagination because somehow it does apply to each one of us.

As I always put it, I cannot talk on your behalf, but I can only state with conviction that the above factors do apply to me in several ways. There is something about the future that tempts us to wander into its prohibited zone. No matter how firmly we believe about not wasting our precious present for a non-existing future, it does manage to pull us in one way or the other. What follows is unnecessary thoughts, ideas and plans into a world far away from the here and now. The title rings true in every sense when we realize our mind tends to overthink or over-doubt in most of the cases. It is one thing to assume and be prepared for the worst, but an equally opposite thing to imagine way beyond what is required. It only drags us down into thinking that everything will turn out undesirable. 

Whether it is a new job or a new assignment, a major event or an upcoming change, we always tend to think about everything that can go wrong. Unknowingly, it transforms into a habit that seems to fit perfectly into every situation. Though it may help to assume first and enjoy the reality later, there is more harm in such kind of occurrence. There are many out there who may not find anything wrong in this, but then doesn’t it put us in the category of ‘excessive over-thinkers’ or ‘people who worry way too much’? Why play a different reality in the head when it can be totally off-track? Unless you possess the supernatural powers of predicting the future in an exactly precise way, I do not see the point of doing so. 

As I see it, it can only ruin the present. It is said we live every moment just once. What you can ‘do’ with it is much more significant than what you actually end up ‘thinking’. There is no limit to the sea of our thoughts. Or better let’s call it an ocean of thoughts. It can take you to the least expected place with the least possible probability of actual reality. But then there is no restriction to thinking? Then why not waste our present for some unnecessary and useless procrastination? It sounds totally incorrect, but that is exactly what we end up doing. 

If we measure our moments in the same way as we measure our days or months, we will realize how much of our life is wasted in thinking because it comes free. I do not intend to say that not thinking about something will make it easy in the future. Though it may point towards ignorance is bliss, I do not abolish the usefulness of being prepared. Be prepared with all possible resources. Make sure you have everything in place. But keep the unnecessary thoughts at bay. Your worries about the worst-case scenario may take you away from this much-needed preparation. You can easily drift into an ocean of thoughts to imagine and dread the wrongs, instead of working on making it right. 

I somehow tend to believe in the fact that even though the dreaded future event may not be a happy or desirable one, it may not be as difficult as we assume it to be. The reality tends to throw in some unexpected surprises which makes everything worthwhile. In retrospect, it adds charm to the entire event and we invariably throw in our famous expression ‘Whatever happens, happens for good.’ Though this is an extremely overrated cliché, it does its job perfectly. 

Our mind gives us way less credit than we deserve. Call it concern or protection, we tend to underestimate our own capabilities. It does help us in investing more efforts but all of this should not be at the cost of spoiling the present. We can always work hard, improve ourselves, invest in learning, and be a better version day by day, but we cannot play with time. The lost time spent over worrying or imagining about future will never come back to give you another ‘present’ opportunity. We need to be present to enjoy the present. Absence in the here and now takes away the precious possibilities hidden deep within. 

So, here is to playing less in the head and more with the reality. Here is to embracing the reality as it comes rather than assuming/imagining/thinking about what it will be like. Living in 3D of reality is more important than thinking about it in 2D, then why waste everything over nothing?

It may be good/bad/happy/sad/horrible/excellent/fantastic/awesome/irritating/scary/fill in more adjectives of your choice – but at the end – it is not your place to predict. It is just your place to live it and go wherever it takes you.  

“We’ll see”

This is probably the shortest title to any of my blog posts, but they do convey what the mind has to say. When there are overwhelming situations, loads of possibilities and equally prominent uncertainties, this short and quick formula comes to the rescue. As we enter into the maze of adulthood that only manages to confuse, it helps to think we will figure it out some way or the other. 

 I am amazed as I write this because growing up, I may be the last person to advocate ‘no planning, no thinking’ policy. Whenever life opened any doable activity or an interactive situation, I would jump at the opportunity of detailed planning. It helped to know how, when, why, where and what of things to be in charge. It might be something to do with being in control that kept me inclined towards plans all along. It was desirable and favorable to have an action plan in hand, not bothering much about the output.

It is only when the rosy days of childhood are replaced by constructive phase of decisive adulthood, it takes us towards the reality of life. I am sure many of my elders must have convinced me about the ill-effects of excessive planning or unnecessary overthinking; but I am also sure, I wouldn’t have understood them back then, right when everything seemed easy. This post is not designed to throw some kind of pessimistic light over planning. I must clear it out beforehand if it seems to steer in that direction. It is more of an easy way to look at change in outlook as we step from one phase to the other.

For many the phrase “We’ll see” stands for indecisiveness or the tendency to put off responsibilities. Though it may seem true in one context, there is another way to look at it. Often, not everything in life can be figured out the moment it unfolds. Reacting to something then and there may not lead to favorable solutions, when the time is not right. Our tendency to overthink about aspects not within reach can take us towards nothing but disappointment. Rather we can act on something when it presents itself in reality. We cannot possibly have all the answers to everything that seems tricky. At times, the key is to harbor patience. It is definitely the most difficult task in hand, but life teaches us the value of patience as we transit from one stage to the other.

‘We’ll see’ or ‘we’ll figure it out’ stands for the faith that things will fall into place if we believe in our actions. The efforts of thinking do not bear any results as much as the efforts of working on it. 

‘Plan in thought’ does not yield any output, it is the ‘plan in action’ that does the trick. This optimistic outlook for the future works in every kind of situation. Whether we are nervous for an upcoming major occasion with worrying thoughts about everything that can go wrong or whether we are sure of some sort of blunders, the primary essence is to believe. Believe that it will fall in place when the time is right. Being prepared from our end is one thing, but assuming the worst or bothering about something way in the future is another. It is good to collect resources and come equipped when needed. But not at the cost of playing with the present. The act of worrying under the disguise of planning drains away the much needed energy from tasks in hand.

 I look at uncertainties as the major players in this thought-process. Because situations can change without any prior notice and circumstances are meant to twist and turn at the least expected moment, the underlying factor is to breathe and believe. Believe in the fact that we can figure out the path ahead. Many of the things are meant to unfold at their own pace. No matter how much we hope to figure it out right now, it may not mean anything until the situation occurs. Till then, all we can do is trust in the reality that we can solve it when the time comes. Why overwhelm about the future when we can see it at a later point? Why not trust ourselves with the ability of figuring out things as and when they unwind? And why not wait for time to help us out in some way? They say time is the greatest healer. I do not know how far this is true because we cannot possibly hand over all our troubles to Mr. Time and wait for the magical result. Rather it helps to hold our horses till the situation arises. Irrespective of good or bad, desirable or undesirable situation - the central factor is to keep patience and trust in the reality of time.

 Try this exercise as a sincere request from my end. When you find yourself in an uncertain scenario with no possible ray of hope, you are clogged with worries to the brim, wondering why it happened, and how to solve it- look at your loved one with a smile and say “We’ll figure it out” or look at yourself in the mirror with confidence “We’ll see”, and observe the difference. I know it may not ease your stress. And I also understand, it may not evaporate the sorrow as much as you hope it does. But it does impart an unexplainable ray of strength. It stands for trusting in yourself and your life that it will illuminate in the least expected way. The key is to smile when everything seems to go south. Because these much needed words at the right moment stand for hidden inspiration at its best.

So at the end, what will you pick- “we’ll see” or “we’ll break our head” right here, right now for the unnecessary stress that follows? As for me, it’s a loud and clear “We’ll see”, not to bother till the moment stands here in front.

My experiments with living in the moment, one day at a time

I have started believing in the concept of ‘perfect timing’. It is for not for nothing that I was suddenly prompted to repeat my usual process of pondering, writing, some more pondering, some more writing as soon as the first sip of coffee hit the right chords at the right moment.

No amount of resolutions can work wonders if we do not pause to reflect, introspect, analyze and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. It is important to pause and check if we can and should continue over the path rather than be happy about some long lost thought in mind. I am not one for regretting over lost chances of resolution because regrets are the easiest means of doing nothing. But I am definitely up for making sure I do what I intend to do. Before I slip into the fantastic world of self-praising where I can go on and on about the good I do (if you believe me, the list is quite long under the light of my self-claimed two minutes to fame).

On a serious note, the pondering about resolutions is about my desire to live one day at a time. After my unexpected, unlikely, adventurous but let’s call it memorable rendezvous with the big C, I was unknowingly pulled into significance of ‘being in the present’. I programmed my mind to do so as one of the most efficient steps to get through the rather most difficult times. Call it survival or adaptation, I enjoyed the blissful world of being in the here and now. No amount of worry seemed to stop me when all I had was to take care of the one thing in front. I can label it as blessing in disguise because it empowered me to focus over what is important.

 The useless habit of procrastinating about the future was neatly transformed into working in the present. All of a sudden as though a magic eraser worked its charm, there was no record of the past and no botheration about the future when I was contented with all the possibilities of the present. They say we shouldn’t dig into unpleasant past memories, hence the intention of this article is not to expose those occurrences, but rather to see how they help me today. I was happily living in the moment, taking one day at a time. 

With complete focus over the present, the significance of ‘this is it’ shone in bright colors. I was more receptive to the things around me in the present tense. I didn’t realize everything seemed so perfect in the here and now. Suddenly there was an unexplainable magic in observing the birds, sky, trees, clouds for they had never met me in the same way before. Or rather I didn’t make any efforts to meet them earlier. The new found urge of taking it one day a time made sure I was seizing every moment to the best of my abilities. There was a renewed sense of joy to do the same things but with a newer approach. As if all I had is just this and nothing else, I was contented to experience it in the rawest form.

Living one day at time made me happy to work in the present tense with accompanying happiness at the very same moment. It did not erase away sorrow or anger. It wasn’t a quick-fix to ensure unlimited stock of joy. But it was a successful attempt to not bother about something that made no difference to life as it unfolded. If you observe closely, you will realize the excessive usage of past tense. It was then that I chose to live in the moment, so how am I doing it today? Rather, am I even continuing it today to reap the innumerable benefits of here and now?

This post is to find out what significance it holds now? Am I able to live in the moment years after the experience or was it just a temporary solution to a permanent problem?

Should I continue to practice the act of not bothering about the future when all I have and possibly will ever have is ‘this’? Or should I quit ‘the one day at a time’ mission for the rather ambitious project of forever?

Is it necessary to use the one-time opportunity of uncertainty as the foundation or is it advisable to forget about it completely?

Years after the experience, it is difficult to be in the moment, yet it is not impossible to not do so. I enjoyed every moment of it back then and I hope to do so for the rest of the time. All the magic of appreciating the present and living a wholehearted life seemed to disappear into thin air as if the uncertainty vanished forever. But now as I pen down the benefits, I realize the need to continue over the path. Reflecting over the resolution has made me understand that the beneficial effects outweigh the primary cause that put me into it. All that matters is the happiness instilled into me as an unexpected side effect and I see no harm in continuing to do so.

I can live in the moment, one day a time for that is all I have and meant to have. You can disagree with the thought or you can apply a different viewpoint for we live different lives in a different set-up. I find happiness in sharing the experiences that make me, without the slightest intention to preach. Writing these thoughts is my way of sending it out to the universe, hoping to be reminded whenever and wherever I am off it.

I can only label them as experiments because that is what they will continue to be. Till I master the art of not drifting away, while keeping the ‘now’ in focus, there are many things to be accomplished. But I truly believe in the hidden motive of the universe. I owe it for putting a slight end though not a complete one to the unnecessary act of procrastinating. When unwanted worries are at bay, there is scope for productive thoughts in the present.

How do you succeed in staying true to what you believe in? Do you need frequent revisits to your resolutions or do you flawlessly adopt them into your system?  

Stop wishing, and start believing?

    How often have you heard yourself say “I just wish this comes true” or “I sincerely hope it happens”? If you are like any other human with a little beating heart and a huge thinking mind, chances are you do hope/wish/pray quite often than you actually sit to notice. Or in case I shouldn’t talk on your behalf, I can strongly state my inclination towards hoping and wishing. Though I realize the pointlessness of wishing against the measurable parameters of working, I tend to slip into the well of hopes and wishes rather involuntarily. It is said there is no use of wishing or hoping when you can actually do something about somethings. 

  Wishes and hopes are like castles in the air without any blueprint, design or necessary resources. Instead it is important to start working on the project to see the output in constructive terms. Now in an ideal practical world, I would definitely find myself subscribing and adhering to this philosophy about hopeful thoughts. I would happily shut my mind to not think about what it wants rather work towards every single idea cropping in its remotest corner. But then, neither am I in any ideal practical world nor will I achieve such high level of self-control to not think at all. Mind is known for wandering and hence it will always do what it finds the best in most of the situations.

 Why such sudden emphasis on thoughts, mind and the related philosophy? The answer lies in my recent pondering over the value of wishes and hopes. And because I will not like to think alone, let me pop the question for your introspection too. Should we continue wishing and hoping for situations to turn in our favor, though they appear nowhere close to what we desire? Or should we quit the mission after a certain threshold of patience? Is there any weight-age to sending out thoughts in the form of wishes or is it useless to expect that things will work out just because we believe in them? To put it the other way, should we stop wishing and start believing about what we want in life? Rather than an imaginary hopeful thought, does it help to believe that it will eventually turn true? You may be able to resonate with this question if you have heard about the significance of sending our vibes to the universe. They say if you believe in a certain situation turning true, it will eventually materialize.

 The problem arises during the long waiting period that demands every ounce of our patience. We may be investing the best form of our efforts with detailed attention to every input from our end, but it may not reflect over the output. During vulnerable times like these, it is important to continue working towards our goal, no matter where it may seem to drift away. The significant factor is believing that things will turn in our favor. Delayed outcome is still an outcome at the end. Whether you stop believing in your goals or continue working hard no matter how impossible it may seem is the real question in place. In such circumstances, I like the idea of believing that things will work out eventually. Because no matter how strong you feel from within, there is a limit to how long you can continue wishing? Unless you are extremely patient in even the most uncertain situations, there comes a time when you cannot think or act any further. At such times, it helps to continue believing instead of just hoping.

  I feel believing in your efforts and trusting in your inputs takes you first step towards the desired end. There is a huge difference between wishing in the air and actually visualizing the results in your head, no matter how imaginary they may seem. I agree this high-end philosophy only sounds good in words. I must confess that these ideas are easier said than done. When the stock of patience seems to exhaust, nothing can come to the rescue. Vulnerability of situations takes away the best of a person, leaving hollow space of nothingness. It is during situations like these, when you need to start believing.

 I understand plain belief cannot turn an undesirable circumstance into a desirable one in a matter of few minutes. But it can at least restore faith and energy when everything is at its lowest. Instead of succumbing to your patience and giving up because you cannot seem to find the end in sight, it is beneficial to simply believe. I know believing is not the same as doing, but it can at least keep us going. We realize the significance of faith and trust when everything seems to pull us down. Rather, the positive thought that yes somewhere, sometime, somehow everything will fall in place gives more comfort.

 I cannot advocate plain thinking because I do not understand its value, but I can definitely vouch about the power of believing, if and when life seems to fade into some sort of uncertain darkness.

So, what is your take? Would you rather stop wishing, start believing, do both of it or none of it?

Signals from the universe

  

   Pardon me for such a cliche title with a cliche topic, but I did receive a signal from the universe to pick this one and ponder to my heart’s content! Before you abandon my post for another eye-catching title followed by an equally sensational content, let me get back on track. I believe I can divide the readers of this blog into two categories- one who believe in the existence and influence of signals, messages, intuitions, dreams, beliefs, and direct connection with the world around, and the others who dismiss the idea as totally fictional, only created by movie makers and authors to create unwanted sensation. The point is not to identify your group and read the post with a prejudice. 

Neither do I intend to evaluate the right from the wrong or analyze the usefulness or uselessness of talking to the universe. You may or may not do the above said activity as per your stem of faith. I will not touch that sensitive domain of personal beliefs, but I am tempted to share what, why and how I feel about this interesting concept. Kindly read it with a pinch of salt. And again, as I always say (more like a universal mantra of all my posts), you are absolutely encouraged to disagree, agree, reject, ignore or applaud. After all, as long as you are not within my arm’s reach, what is the harm in disagreeing?

  Coming to the title in question, do you believe in signals from the universe? 

Is there something that connects us to the universe as a whole? 

Should we or should we not pay attention to these links of communication or are they just tricks to convince our mind into doing something?

 While you think about it, let me start with a disclaimer. Do not overthink and find yourself lost in a dense forest of nothingness. There are no right or wrong answers to it, so kindly activate your sense of humor, before we step forward.

 If you ask me (or even if you don’t, I will take the liberty of answering ;)) I do understand the occurrence of these signals, only and only when my mind must be tricked into believing something. If there are conflicting interests that don’t seem to erase the confusion come-what-may, I hunt around for such signals and convince myself about the perfectness of those decisions. In simpler words, if I am having a tough time to get my mind on board, I use the tactics of these universe signals. I am not sure if they do the actual work, but they seem to do their part in supporting my mind morally. Signals from universe are designed to remind us about the perfectness of our decisions. While we are engrossed in finding out whether we are heading towards the right direction, anything that reminds us even in the slightest way seems to work wonders. Suddenly, I find myself delighted and excited as though the universe has approved. I agree these beliefs are hinting towards mind-games, but as long as it does not harm and helps one achieve their ideas, there is nothing wrong to say the least.

 We cannot consider these signals as confirmations sent out from the universe because after all they are created by us, believed by us and implemented as per our desire. We can only use them as rightful pieces of moral support.

But what constitutes these signals, you ask? There is no clear or direct signal that qualifies to be titled as the perfect wireless communication from up above, but it is more or less centered on my thoughts, intuition, and perfectly timed occurrences. If all of this sounds too imaginary, let me elaborate through certain real-life situations to help relate better.

1.       You think about something and sincerely hope/wish/pray/beg/or do whatever form of wishing you do to get it. Suddenly, while you are at it, you hear a song with that reference or look at an image which points towards it in a larger frame of context.

2.       You are walking on the road thinking about your next big plan/project/ desire/ assignment/duty/responsibility and you observe random words on billboards or shops that hint towards the same in some form.

3.       You end up having conversations with numerous people who elaborate some form of the same situation you are looking at.

4.       You hear or read about aspects that relate to your central dominating thought in different ways, for example- same location, story, movie, person, relationship etc.

    Though I believe more in actions and less in thoughts, I do enjoy the occasional play with signals from the universe. Look around for signals, interpret them my way and enjoy a good laugh. I find happiness in this one-way signaling where my antenna seems to trap messages, though they are not really sent from top above, but crafted from deep within. They serve no good purpose except entertaining my mind because at the end, these are nothing but figments of my imagination. Stressing it over and over again to make sure the humor is delivered well- these signals are purely fun-filled pieces of belief. Nothing can validate, warn or authenticate if we are incorrect or correct except the strong belief in ourselves. So, in case you plan to head out hunting for these signals outside, remember to first seek them somewhere on the inside.

How good are you with these signals? Are you able to interpret them or you don’t seem to bother?

Can we agree to disagree?

   Call it maturity or enhanced sense of understanding, I find myself at peace whenever and wherever I end up disagreeing with those around me. The old self-confessed ‘perfectionist’ me would have hated the thought of not being able to weave others into my thoughts. Or that same ‘perfectionist’ I would make every possible effort to prove a point in any and every manner. But now the new ‘choose your battles wisely’ self (more on this in another post) finds it easy to not bother about agreement or disagreement. There is nothing outstanding or exceptional about it, but the ability to disagree with someone without slightest hint of arrogance, superiority or friction is something worth pondering. While I often self-congratulate myself for this new found sense of maturity, I am tempted to think about the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’.

  Can we peacefully agree to obey differences of opinion or does it turn into our agenda to turn every person’s opinion our way come-what-may? 

 Is it really essential to be a people pleaser who is perfect and gets nods in every aspect of life or is it okay to do something different that does not fit into the universal mold of acceptance? 

 Is there something wrong if we agree to disagree or should we influence these differences one way or the other to gain agreements from everyone around us? 

  What is the harm in agreeing to disagree or do we fear rejection from the society if we cannot keep everyone on our page?

   Now while you ponder about these unusual questions that may or may not have entered your chain of thoughts in the past, let me take you through my thought-process. And the best part of this exercise – you can agree to disagree right from the first word moving forward. Though I wouldn’t deny the immense happiness of getting a perfect feedback where all of you would agree with me, I will still manage to shake hands with my new found contentment.  I believe there is lot of power in the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’. There is no harm in expressing your opinions. There is nothing wrong if the world does not understand your side of the story or finds it difficult to not form a completely contrasting judgement of the tale. As long as you are sure of your take with conviction, there is fun in ‘agreeing to disagree’.

 So let me take the liberty of justifying disagreements and wait for your agreement over it.

1.       The value of taking your stand and staying true to what you believe in outweighs the temporary happiness of pleasing people. This temporary happiness will make you feel happy for a really tiny, short while that may not be worth it.

2.       Each one of us is entitled to our opinions. The efforts of transforming someone’s disagreement into agreement will drain away that much needed energy for more productive work.

3.       Where does the process of converting opinions end? Because it is practically impossible to convince everyone is it really needed? As we begin to realize the process is worthless to say the least we are able to make peace with it every step of the way.

4.       Expressing this disagreement in a good form is the real challenge. How we communicate our difference of opinion is the trick. Whether we choose good words and peaceful speech or blurt out anger and end up fighting like hot-headed coals can change the entire experience.

5.       When such conflicting situations tend to bring you down, think about what matters the most to you. If you value self-respect and choose self-love over the need to be a people pleaser, you can make peace with not wanting to agree with others but at the same time expressing your heart and mind in the clearest possible way.

 I completely agree stating these thoughts in black and white is not as easy as it seemed when I started with the post. We all go through wide array of experiences – good, bad, happy, sad. And it is only natural to go through diverse experiences with those around us. It does not matter whether we agree or disagree as long as we know how to value the underlying bond of love and affection. Understanding the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’ as a statement of literature is one thing, and implementing it in reality is another. We may agree to its benefits but whether we are able to implement it while swallowing our ego/pride/arrogance is the reality that only time will tell.

 In introspect, agreeing or disagreeing may never be the main concern as much as we make it to be. Our in-built nature to seek approval may drive us towards this urge but if are able to trust our beliefs without slightest scope for doubts, we are good to go. But again, this depends on what clicks your thought-process. There is nothing right or wrong about it. With this, I leave you all on an open note- 

What matters – agreeing with yourself or agreeing with everyone, but yourself?

Know-it-all or understand-it-none: the new age digital attention span

    I take the liberty of defining a new term in this post. Though ‘attention span’ is a recognized concept in our vocabulary pointing towards the kind, quality and duration of attention rendered by the receiver, ‘digital attention span’ is born out of the new age world of digital life. This form of attention is absolutely short, distracted and impatient- to define it in the shortest possible way. It happens to all of us. No matter how well you defend your stand, we all are guilty of being impatient while accessing information in today’s world of connectivity. We have all the necessary means to understand a concept from any end of the globe or learn about any phenomenon of any field at any time, but is it everything or are we lacking something? I cannot take your opinions for granted, but my digitally active, virtually available, constantly connected, and ever-inquisitive mind does not believe in not knowing it all but seems to understand only a tiny bit of everything.

 This is the result of having all types of accessible information within arms’ reach (or rather in this case finger’s reach) but not able to process it with patience right till the end. Let me explain this through couple of cases and see if it rings true for you.

1.       Case 1: You are reading or working on something. You come across an unknown concept – you google it to find out what it means. One link on the article takes you to another and another and another. Slowly and steadily you have access to numerous articles but manage to understand only a tiny bit. You either quit reading because it seems to make no sense at all or is irrelevant to your original search. Or as it happens in most situations- you are restless or distracted within one-third length of the article.

2.       Case 2- You are enjoying your daily dose of social media intake. While browsing through photos, posts and updates- you come across catchy articles with absolutely catchy headlines. Some of it seem totally related to your current situation in life. You read a bit, only to extract little sense or end up clicking other interesting links within it.

3.       Case 3- You subscribe to e-newspapers, newsletters and influential blogs (because you are not just all play and no work on social media!), you find an article relevant with an aim to seek some knowledge, learn new tips and tricks of the trade or to sound well informed in your social circle. Again you grasp a little, only to find yourself attracted to some other hidden concept or embedded article.

4.       Case 4- You are hanging out with your group of friends. You end up disagreeing over something and use google as your ultimate decision-maker. Each one of you open a website, read an article, get some information, and resolve the conflict, only to prove the point and not understand it completely.

 The underlying base of each of these scenarios is the same. Thanks to easily accessible internet on our smartphones, we can find out anything and everything with ease. But call it an ill side-effect or distracted attention span, I seem to know it all but understand just a little. It is easy to jump from one source of information to another and enjoy unlimited access to so many resources. Yet it is also easy to not understand it the way it is meant to be. 

 There is no harm in the unlimited access, the harm lies in not using it well. Also, there is no need to know it all, but rather it is important to stay focused and gain adequate knowledge. I find it similar to touching the surface of the soil and deciding what lies beneath instead of digging it to get the correct picture. As I pen this thought from my mind, I realize it is essential to make conscious efforts and stay focused to understand it better. Access to unlimited knowledge imparts a rather snobbish sense of knowing-it-all, only to realize the knowledge is surface deep. There is no depth to the knowledge base unless we invest adequate time to gather it through reliable sources.

  I am tempted to infer digital attention span is often about quantity and not quality. This pushes me to remember and avoid short attention spans as much as possible. It is not necessary to know everything. We cannot possibly be experts on every subject or gain degrees to every possible fields. But at the same time, we cannot justify the short attention span and not make any efforts to learn, understand or concentrate over matters that truly matter. If we allow digitally influenced attention span to cast its spell over other faculties of life, we will lose the essential ingredient of concentration. I do not intend to demotivate the influence of virtual access, but at the same time, I want to ensure adequate focus whenever and wherever it matters. I sense an ‘old-school-ish’ attitude in my thinking, but then not everything in the new school is perfectly correct!

 The key is to use digital access to our advantage. It is perfectly understandable to not know it all but it is not okay to lose our focus over something that we are supposed to comprehend in the first place. Distractions on digital media manage to whisk us to a faraway unknown territory, only to realize we are not meant to be everywhere, every time. Call it a new form of peer pressure or some kind of digital inclusiveness, we make attempts to sound knowledgeable about any trending thing on the internet- no matter how little we seem to care or how little we actually understand about it.

What is your take on the new age short lived digital attention span? 

Am I the only over-pondering blogger who believes in its existence or have you experienced it too? 

Are you guilty of not paying enough attention or are you convinced of understanding it well, just the way it is meant to be?

Chasing the mirage of perfection

  

   How often have you thought to yourself “I want it to be absolutely perfect”? How often have you caught yourself hoping/wishing/dreaming/thinking about the ‘perfect’ life? And how often do you strive hard to chase a perfect outcome, though the journey seems anything but perfect? Growing up, I always thought perfection is absolutely doable.

  What is so difficult about being perfect or rather what is so impossible about it? You decide, you plan, you execute and there it is perfection at its best. Only if life was so simple. Because as maturity takes over childlike immaturity and reality takes over dreamy illusions, you are greeted by the bitter truth of impossible perfection. Rather I will like to put it this way – ‘Perfection is overrated’. May be what we need is pleasure not perfection, what we need is enjoyment and satisfaction. By saying so, I am not against perfect things in life. Neither am I against the need to improve ourselves and be perfect in everything we do. But I feel unnecessary stress over perfection can take away the joy of doing things.

 Pondering over this brought me to the thought in title. Can I link mirage and perfection in the same sentence because that is how it truly feels? Or is it possible to achieve perfection like we reach the end point in a race? Can we be completely sure of reaching perfection or does something always seem amiss? It is not possible to define perfection in a clear manner. It is subjective to individualistic perception. In fact it is not even necessary to equate perfection for every single person and set a universal benchmark. To each his own is the rather suitable thought when it comes to it. The harm is not in investing efforts to get something as desired. The harm is when we extract all the fun from a task under the pretense of gaining perfection. Being perfect is not the ultimate measure of success. Ability to enjoy the process, find purpose in our efforts and follow passion with all our heart is the underlying theme here.

  Many a times, the need to be perfect blinds us in the journey. We are unable to take one step at a time and savor the process with an open approach. All our energy is drained to reach some non-existent milestone that takes away the fun while at it. It works as a joy-killer because it is difficult to embrace the present. Tuned to achieve perfection, we fail to appreciate the joy - right here, right now. Make perfection a target if the desire is to accomplish your tasks. Make it a priority in order to fulfill your responsibilities. But do not treat perfection as a measurement of your success. Because no matter how hard you try something somewhere will seem short. Though you may put in every possible drop of input from your end, somethings may change in an unexpected manner. It is not for nothing that we bring circumstances to the picture. Because situations can change at the most unexpected moments, it is essential to factor them too. No wonder there is lot of weight-age to the saying ‘Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst’. With all this significance to circumstances, it is only essential to change our perception towards perfection. As long as we consider it as a guiding light towards the final deadline, we are good to go. But unfortunately, if we turn obsessive to be perfect come what may, the experience is not so memorable to say the least.

 You may not be perfect at everything. Or you may not be perfect at all. Nothing to worry as long as you work hard and follow your dreams with a positive outlook. There is always room for criticism. Even if you believe to be perfect, there are people who may not consider it so. There can be judgments and critical analysis to your rather perfect work. Because there are no tests to measure perfection or no certification methods to judge perfection in any form, it wouldn’t be incorrect to compare it to a mirage. You believe to touch it down the line, but fail to do so in reality. Don’t aspire to be perfect, rather aspire to be better version of yourselves every passing day. 

 We may not realize it but often the madness to reach the so-called perfection may turn us insensitive towards others. In the rat race to do everything perfectly, we may hurt our loved ones in the process. There can be hidden instances of jealousy, hatred or anger under the pretext of demanding perfection. As long as we take charge and understand the consequences, there is nothing to worry about. It is only when things take an ugly turn towards compulsive perfection, the end results can be disappointing. At the end, it is important to clear out our goals. Is it happiness we seek for our happy minds or the unrealistic target of perfection for our pompous ego?

 All these thoughts prompt me to link perfection to mirage. What is important is to enjoy what our heart says. Follow dreams because they leave a long-lasting experience of happiness. Perfect or imperfect does not matter, what matters is you stayed true to your efforts with a positive attitude.

While I leave you with these words, I will like to hear your stand too.

Unrealistic like a mirage or absolutely real like painted signs on the road- what is your take on perfection?