To reflections and introspections…

 

As luck will have it, I clicked this perfect revelant picture, just a day before penning the post...

I will like to start this post with a question, “Do you know yourself?” Now while it may seem as an extremely obvious question, considering we know ourselves after spending so much time every step of the way, yet can we be totally convinced of its surety? Or let me put it the other way around. Are we sure of what runs in our mind without the need to introspect? Do we take ourselves for granted and assume there is no need for reflecting over some of our own thoughts? Is it necessary to pause from time and time to know what lies within? And finally, do you believe in the power of self-improvement?

Though I am waiting to put forth my thoughts about the significance of self-reflection or introspection to turn into a better version of ourselves, I understand that there cannot be black or white ways of dealing with our ideas. Whether it is important to pause our life for a moment to see if things are turning the way we want it to be or whether it is essential to simply continue the daily drill; the truth is much of the introspection happens in the background without our concrete realization. As humans, we are capable of creating tons of thoughts that may not mean anything if we sit to analyze them. Much of the thought process is similar to some background noise that does nothing productive. 

Our mind has an exceptional time-travelling ability that can take us into past or future thoughts, but when we actually want it to focus on the present with the aim of improvement, it may choose otherwise. The underlying purpose of reflection or introspection is not to sit with an agenda of thinking about everything that goes wrong or congratulating ourselves for any form of achievement. It is to be self-aware that we need to pause and look for an update of some sort.

We tend to take ourselves for granted. We seem to know everything and we seem to be good in everything we do. There is no scope for improvement if we fail to look beyond our pre-conceived notions. Honest review of yourself by yourself can make you realize that some ideas of your behavior may not be what you wanted them to be. Or the tendency of flowing from day to day takes us away from the need to pause, think, analyze and act. Our nature is determined by the nature of circumstances around us. Different situations make or break our understanding of the well-known concepts of life. What you believe to be ideal may not hold true in the light of certain events. On the other hand, it may be necessary to adapt to changing situations with a new mindset. Reflection is about such an idea of self-analysis. If change is the only constant, maybe we may need to change some of our thoughts in the process.

We cannot know everything that is good for us right from the start. It is important to test our own ideas from time to time. I am not talking about major personality changes that are designed for external appearances. Rather the need to look within and see the significance of improving ourselves. Just as we learn new things in the path of our career, work, lifestyle or usual routine, we also need to recognize the value of our thoughts. Reflect over what makes you happy, reflect on that one change you want to see in yourself. Because if you believe there is scope for improvement, there is definitely a scope for happier times. 

We allow ourselves to believe that our nature is carved in stone with everything predetermined from the start. But the truth is we have the power to surprise ourselves as we introspect into the deeper pockets of our mind. We should be able to make room for improvements, while spending some quiet moments with our thoughts. We may not succeed necessarily. We may end up making resolutions only to forget about it the next day like most of the New year resolutions every single year. But we cannot limit the process of self-growth. To progress is to recognize ourselves. To be happy, we must be able to understand what our mind wants. Only after we introspect, do we realize what good or bad comes out of our view towards life. 

One trick that may help in the process of self-reflection is to stay clear of judgements. Do not take a judgmental approach on your mind. It may only make it difficult to accept your faults or shortcomings with a clear lens. We are definitely not perfect in any or every way. We undoubtedly need millions of self-reminders to avoid repetitive mistakes or follow patterns of errors as always. 

There is no harm if you fail your self-improvement measures. But there is harm if you cannot stay true to yourself. It is often said facing yourself in the mirror is a difficult task if you cannot make peace between your thoughts and actions. If there is a wide gap between what you think is good for you and what you actually do, you may have to rethink quite often. And that is how reflections work. Introspect often, it is a tool to clear your mind of preconceived notions and start resolving for improvements.

At the end, I will leave you with one note. Will you rather cheat yourself into believing that you know everything it is to know about yourself or will you stop for frequent reflections because let’s face it we do learn something new every day. And if we do learn something, why not include ourselves as the subject too?  

…when popular belief ends, and your own one starts

I think I have imparted the unique essence to this post right from the title. As an unusual and never-heard before concept, it has the power to confuse any and every reader who tries. And I do not blame you for reading it twice or wondering what am I up to? But then, would you rather do something that seems correct or sounds correct to everyone or would you rather do something that seems correct to yourself? Somehow as this unique idea cropped into my ever-wandering blogger mind, I was curious to find out. 

Is it incorrect to believe in something that no one seems to agree with? 

Is it wrong to have faith in your abilities, even when the entire world fails to acknowledge it? 

Is it incorrect to be passionate about something that does not fall under the umbrella of popular choices?

 Is it wrong to try in your own way and with your own unique style? 

Is it incorrect to disagree with everyone who doubts your abilities because there is no past evidence of success in a similar field?

 Is it necessary to gauge the popularity of an idea or concept or it is acceptable to try no matter where the popular opinion leans? 

Let’s take a breather. I understand answering my never-ending line of rapid questions will tire you out in the process. But then that is how introspection works. Having a dialogue with the know-it-all mind is like an interrogative session. It prompts to get every piece of information in whichever manner it can. Coming back to the idea, I admire the exceptional level of passion in some passionate individuals who defy popular opinion. When the entire world says it is impossible, there are few people who beg to differ. They use their strengths, belief, faith and trust in their favor to do exactly what others termed as impossible. We see such brilliant examples of hard-work, success and determination all around us. And most of the times, such success stories originate from a humble background laced with difficulties but somehow manage to see the light of achievements in an exceptional way. 

A lot is said about such inspiring individuals from different fields. But is this applicable only to the famous achievers or can we extrapolate it to our lives too? As long as we believe in our motive, efforts and hard work, it is possible to go against popular notion. If the usual trend shows so-called parameters of tried and tested formulas, it is absolutely possible to go beyond and above. If we are able to invest our faith and belief into something, we can definitely move mountains. Popular belief tells us what is normally seen in the world around us. But it does not discredit any original passion that has not been seen before. This can relate to any and everything in life. Be it your career or hobby, a passion for something or an interest to learn something new; there is no need to trap yourselves in so-called ideal means of life. It is necessary to move out of our comfort zone to do something that appeals to our mind. We may fail or succeed, like it or give it up for something else. How we choose to proceed is on us, but whether we should seek validation is the point in question. As long as believe in doing something, it is all that matters. 

Most of our ideas of a successful or happy life revolve around what is acceptable to the greater population. We allow our mind to doubt itself because we want it to adhere to acceptable beliefs of the society. But what is the harm in engaging in our passion and doing something we believe in? There are no fixed formulas to success. Even though you may choose a popular activity as your hobby, you may not succeed magically because others were able to do so. It all boils down to your own efforts and dedication. Then why do we wait for validation? Why do we want to hear what the society thinks about a particular activity? We rely on several external factors to judge what is right or wrong. No wonder we strive to seek validation from our friends and peers. We find it safe if they approve our choices. If we realize we have similar choices of book or movies, we feel happy to blend well. But why can’t we disagree and hold our own individual beliefs? It is so necessary to follow common beliefs in order to be a part of something? 

I am somehow tempted to play with the idea of uniqueness. Be different and inspire others. Our society needs more happy stories of people who believe in their choices. We should find motivation to live our stories to the fullest. Wouldn’t it be fun if each one of us fills our book of life with fun-filled episodes? We may fail or succeed. Laugh at our mistakes for trying out something stupid or congratulate our efforts to set a positive example. In either case, we can be contented with the idea that we tried. We didn’t let the world decide our fate right from start. They may have warned us that we can’t spread laughter with our set of jokes, yet we tried. They may have forced us to believe that our life is just usual like any other. But we refused to stay contented. We rather painted it with some funny embarrassing moments because we have the power to laugh at ourselves. Do not let the popular belief bring you down. It is absolutely fine to lose a challenge and come back empty-handed. It is absolutely okay if no one applauded your song on stage because it was not melodious as expected. It is okay to not gather praises because your happiness does not depend on the external factors. It originates from your own heart and as long as you have made yourself happy, it is more than you could ask for. 

I do not intend to discredit the significance of other people and their opinions. I do not want to lower the importance of competitions, evaluations, and judging contests. It takes a lot to gather appreciation for your efforts. But at the same time, I do not want to live with the thought that it is important to gain validation every single time. We can be unique in our own way. We can attempt to act and believe in something that has purity of purpose from start to end. There will be times when the world shall support you while you try something offbeat. There will be times when the same world will point fingers and mock your efforts, declaring you a confirmed failure even before you start. Their prejudices and doubts may drive you to question your ideas too. If the idea of your passion sounds good to your ears, it is definitely worth trying. After all, you do not live for popular belief or so-called notions of the society. You live for yourself and for your idea of satisfaction.

More often than not, your passion may align with the popular belief of the society. But when and if it deviates, the time is right to do it anyways. This brings me back to my line of questions. 

Should you act when and where the popular belief ends and your own one starts? Shout out a yes/no/may be or whatever comes to your mind. I am all prepared to put my money where my mouth is. If everyone disagrees with my opinion, I am happy to have at least tried it, my way.   

  

There are good days and then there are bad days….

I wish the only way that this statement made sense would be by adding the word ‘hair’ before the word ‘days’. So that we could only relate the bad to something as superficial as hair. But that is not the case. Life is not about bad hair days but about actual bad days when everything seems to go south. There is nothing wrong in acknowledging that life can be difficult. There is nothing wrong in accepting that we can make mistakes too or rather we tried but things did not turn our way. If you are wondering why should we ponder about the bad rather than just think or hope for the good, then the answer is because there is no other way. It is necessary to accept everything that life offers to you with a pinch of salt. We always wish for the best, but we have to prepare for the worst.

The reason being it makes us real and human. It is important to pamper ourselves with ‘self-love’ and make our mind feel supportive rather than taking it on some ‘guilt-trip’ over and over again. We think about this only when we are sad but my real motive was to think about it even when everything appears to be good. We have to acknowledge the significance of ups and downs. There is equal mixture of good and bad things for us in life. While we strive to pick the good, we cannot ignore the bad. The real key to embracing life is to make way for the bitter/tangy/boring/undesirable moments too.

I accept that it is easy to say this under a sound frame of mind. We all turn philosophical when we have an assigned time slot to ponder. But how do we react when the reality hits us? We tend to respond in different ways. There cannot be a right or wrong way to do it. But at the end, it may help if we allow our emotions to vent out. It starts by acknowledging the presence of a bad day. May be half the battle is won when we realize that nothing seems to go our way. We may have to make peace with the situation right in front of our eyes. We cannot prepare for bad days in advance. Neither can we celebrate for the good ones much before they unfold. The key is to be there for both the happy and the sad. 

If you feel low in life, it is important to acknowledge it. It is all a part of the bigger picture. Just as those overwhelming emotions made their way into your life, the good ones will too. There will be ample scope for the happier days when we can express gratitude in the truest sense. How we react in our bad times reflects over our experience in the good ones. Make way for the bad so that the good gets its chance too. 

In no way, am I prescribing the need to have low times. And though we always pray for the best, the worst finds its way on its own. What we can do is keep ourselves calm and stable as much as possible. There is no right way to react but it is essential to find our own peace. You may benefit from listening to your favorite songs or simply walking it out. You may want to spend time in the natural surroundings or dive into the world of books. The options are endless but the final choice to pick one over the other is all yours. 

The best way to deal with bad days is to start by recognizing its presence. This clears away all the clouded emotions giving way for a solution. A clouded mind is more like a chocked passage. It needs to be cleared to move to the next step. You may not have a solution which is fine too. You may not know how to react. But you can at least be one step closer to the outcome. People deal with problems in different ways. As far as you keep a stable mind with a desire to come out of it, nothing is lost. And if you believe something good will come out of the bad, you must congratulate yourself. It may not be possible to find the real reason of why things happen, but it is always possible to find the disguised purpose in your own way. Since they say everything happens for a reason, what is the harm in creating one? If it can get you out of the trouble with a ray of hope towards something better, then why not? 

If we are able to be in the moment of the good or the bad, we can take charge of the situation. It is quite obvious we love the good days to their fullest with the desire to extract the most of it, but it also helps if we can be receptive to the bad. That way we may value everything that happens to us. No one said it is easy. No one promised us roses. We can only hope for them. But they did promise us ups and downs. They did say let the sun set for it to rise again. Let it create immense darkness in your life to make way for a brighter tomorrow. Because only then can we appreciate the value of everything that unfolds. We may take things for granted if we do not realize the significance of good and bad. We may not be able to appreciate it right away, but the bad makes us more resilient. It prompts us to find a way out of everything. It pushes us to find the inner strength hidden deep within. Because though we may not be able to admit it, but we are way stronger than the little credit that we give to ourselves.  

Here is to being more in the moment to take charge of the days as and when they come. Here is to love the good and wait for it with bated breath. Also, here is to the bad with a hope that it teaches us something valuable. Here is to the cocktail of good and bad days because life needs the variety to be exciting/livable and amazing at the end. It wouldn’t be called living if we did not experience it all. 

“We’ll see”

This is probably the shortest title to any of my blog posts, but they do convey what the mind has to say. When there are overwhelming situations, loads of possibilities and equally prominent uncertainties, this short and quick formula comes to the rescue. As we enter into the maze of adulthood that only manages to confuse, it helps to think we will figure it out some way or the other. 

 I am amazed as I write this because growing up, I may be the last person to advocate ‘no planning, no thinking’ policy. Whenever life opened any doable activity or an interactive situation, I would jump at the opportunity of detailed planning. It helped to know how, when, why, where and what of things to be in charge. It might be something to do with being in control that kept me inclined towards plans all along. It was desirable and favorable to have an action plan in hand, not bothering much about the output.

It is only when the rosy days of childhood are replaced by constructive phase of decisive adulthood, it takes us towards the reality of life. I am sure many of my elders must have convinced me about the ill-effects of excessive planning or unnecessary overthinking; but I am also sure, I wouldn’t have understood them back then, right when everything seemed easy. This post is not designed to throw some kind of pessimistic light over planning. I must clear it out beforehand if it seems to steer in that direction. It is more of an easy way to look at change in outlook as we step from one phase to the other.

For many the phrase “We’ll see” stands for indecisiveness or the tendency to put off responsibilities. Though it may seem true in one context, there is another way to look at it. Often, not everything in life can be figured out the moment it unfolds. Reacting to something then and there may not lead to favorable solutions, when the time is not right. Our tendency to overthink about aspects not within reach can take us towards nothing but disappointment. Rather we can act on something when it presents itself in reality. We cannot possibly have all the answers to everything that seems tricky. At times, the key is to harbor patience. It is definitely the most difficult task in hand, but life teaches us the value of patience as we transit from one stage to the other.

‘We’ll see’ or ‘we’ll figure it out’ stands for the faith that things will fall into place if we believe in our actions. The efforts of thinking do not bear any results as much as the efforts of working on it. 

‘Plan in thought’ does not yield any output, it is the ‘plan in action’ that does the trick. This optimistic outlook for the future works in every kind of situation. Whether we are nervous for an upcoming major occasion with worrying thoughts about everything that can go wrong or whether we are sure of some sort of blunders, the primary essence is to believe. Believe that it will fall in place when the time is right. Being prepared from our end is one thing, but assuming the worst or bothering about something way in the future is another. It is good to collect resources and come equipped when needed. But not at the cost of playing with the present. The act of worrying under the disguise of planning drains away the much needed energy from tasks in hand.

 I look at uncertainties as the major players in this thought-process. Because situations can change without any prior notice and circumstances are meant to twist and turn at the least expected moment, the underlying factor is to breathe and believe. Believe in the fact that we can figure out the path ahead. Many of the things are meant to unfold at their own pace. No matter how much we hope to figure it out right now, it may not mean anything until the situation occurs. Till then, all we can do is trust in the reality that we can solve it when the time comes. Why overwhelm about the future when we can see it at a later point? Why not trust ourselves with the ability of figuring out things as and when they unwind? And why not wait for time to help us out in some way? They say time is the greatest healer. I do not know how far this is true because we cannot possibly hand over all our troubles to Mr. Time and wait for the magical result. Rather it helps to hold our horses till the situation arises. Irrespective of good or bad, desirable or undesirable situation - the central factor is to keep patience and trust in the reality of time.

 Try this exercise as a sincere request from my end. When you find yourself in an uncertain scenario with no possible ray of hope, you are clogged with worries to the brim, wondering why it happened, and how to solve it- look at your loved one with a smile and say “We’ll figure it out” or look at yourself in the mirror with confidence “We’ll see”, and observe the difference. I know it may not ease your stress. And I also understand, it may not evaporate the sorrow as much as you hope it does. But it does impart an unexplainable ray of strength. It stands for trusting in yourself and your life that it will illuminate in the least expected way. The key is to smile when everything seems to go south. Because these much needed words at the right moment stand for hidden inspiration at its best.

So at the end, what will you pick- “we’ll see” or “we’ll break our head” right here, right now for the unnecessary stress that follows? As for me, it’s a loud and clear “We’ll see”, not to bother till the moment stands here in front.

8 things to-do when you hit a block

   

   How often have you heard the phrase ‘Change is the only constant’? As humans, it is practically impossible to continue with our same set of chores day in, day out. Though this system of routine does impart a sense of stability and permanence that each one of us long for, it tends to bore us down with inefficiency and boredom. That is when a block comes into the picture. I did not pay much attention to blocks until I came across the term ‘Writer’s block’. As a creative artist, it is quite natural to hit a plateau where one cannot generate new ideas as desired. And though this term often applies to arts than technical fields, it is relevant to almost all areas of life. Be it career or relationships, lifestyle or passion, general daily routine or our social responsibilities, we can hit a block in almost any and every aspect.

  The concept of writer’s block prompted me to dig deep into the matter when I realized blocks should not be resented or despised. In fact blocks are essential to instill new ideas and enthusiasm. Agreed none of us will feel like welcoming these blocks to halt our creativity and hamper with our work, but they do turn into blessing in disguise if we learn to use them for our good. Rather than wasting time over why and what about blocks, we must invest in updating our skills. If we change our attitude, we can see their role as teachers. After all, only when our flow of work or routine is blocked do we make an attempt to improve ourselves.

Avoiding blocks voluntarily by trying out something new is one thing but how often does that feeling arise from within? If you are one of those who take charge of improving much before hitting a block, take a bow because such level of dedication for your own good is seldom found. But no matter how hard you try, if these blocks do enter into your way, treat them as wake-up alarms for action.

 Blocks are hurdles that prevent you from moving forward. They can pour feelings of doubt, anxiety, restlessness and disappointment, making you believe in your inability. It can also prompt you to quit your work or task in hand that will only invite permanent sorrow.

 So, is there a way out? Is it possible to convert blocks into opportunities? And can one look at blocks as temporary hurdles rather than high unattainable mountain peaks?

 Digging into some ‘to-do’ ideas to tackle these blocks. These actions are a mix of instant solutions, long-term approaches, elaborate methods and quick-fixes. Do share the action plan from your diary. We all attend to blocks in our own specific way. The path may differ but at the end we are and should be able to handle it for our own eternal happiness that matters over anything else.

1.       Take long silent walks

These work the best to clear out your mind and avoid distracting thoughts. Walks help to prioritize your ideas and find a solution from a state of stagnancy. Blocks arise when the same chain of ideas keep repeating over and over again. It is important to remove them from the system and think different.

2.       Abort the thinking right away

This may sound impossible since our aim is to find a solution. But when you hit a block of stagnancy, the first thing to do is quit thinking at all. Distract yourself into some other activity that is completely unrelated to your line of work. Thinking over and over again is like riding a bike over a circular route. When you realize thinking is not productive, you will reach half way to the destination. Blocks arise by excessive procrastination, contemplation and unnecessary analysis.

3.       Look around for inspiration

We fail to realize but our immediate surrounding is an exceptional source of inspiration. We are programmed to look far and wide, imparting significance to something that is beyond our reach. But when you are receptive to people, surrounding, resources, nature and things around you, it can motivate in unimaginable ways. Listen to ideas floating in the air, hear out experiences and thoughts from people, seek guidance from someone in the same boat, read, research and watch things in your domain, you will be amazed by the result.

4.       Seek a by-pass route

When you do the same task regularly, you need some alternate methods. Engage in some new actions that are different from your everyday work but will ultimately take you to the same destination. There are different methods of doing the same thing. The idea is to achieve the same output but with some minor changes to the routine.

5.       Same thought, different surrounding

Now though we said thinking hard is not really productive, we can return to it when the mood is right. And how do we judge that? When thinking seems less of a demanding task and more of a feel-good activity to seek a solution, the time is right. Our location plays an important role in generating new ideas. Hence a change in the surrounding can help a lot. Visit some place close or far, travel wherever and whenever you can or simply sit few feet away from your usual work desk, the effects will surprise you.

6.       Quit planning, pay attention to the present

Often when are overwhelmed by lack of ideas to clear the block, we end up worrying about the future. As the present problem seems too big, it is quite natural to doubt the road ahead. This can force us to make unrealistic plans and think way ahead from where we stand today. Such times demand a more ‘live in the moment’ approach. You can resume your usual planning after things are better but that very discouraging moment demands less of worrying and more of simple tasks, one step at a time.

7.       Accept the block and write to-do lists

This should be the first step when you sense a block. Instead of being in denial and justifying your lack of creativity, accept the impending sense of boredom and stagnancy. Following this, organize your ideas and action plan. Often it helps to list down actions but again only the short-term ones. Do not get carried away to make long-term plans and enter into a spiral of self-doubt once again.

8.       Get hold of your favorite stress-buster

Playing with kids or watching comedy programs? Drinking coffee or eating cake? Singing on top of your voice in the bathroom or pretending to dance well? Find your favorite stress-buster and engage into it instantly. Block is one form of stress in disguise. It needs an outlet to remove the steam, release the boredom and get back in an enlightened, happy way.

  It sounds practical when we use words such as ‘to-do’. Do something to overcome the block. Hitting a plateau is quite common, we see our favorite actors, performers, authors and sports personalities in similar kind of situations. But not doing anything about it is the confirmed killer of talent. Try something inspiring each time you hit the block and may be your new skill set will read ‘expert in dealing with blocks’!

7 metaphors on life that say it right

  To start this post, I will need to back-up a bit. Back in school days when English was one of the least-studied subjects and grammar was the perfect tool to score maximum marks, the concept of ‘figures of speech’ seemed interesting. Though understanding difference between simile and metaphor or finding the correct type meant scratching the head, it at least appeared different. After running around in the maze of verbs, adverbs, nouns and pronouns, figures of speech meant some serious business. More like maturity of higher standards, I enjoyed figures of speech for their greater value and stronger looks.

   I apologize if all these memories make you sad with your own dreaded grammar classes, but the reason to mention them is my new-found love for one such figure of speech- ‘metaphor’. Ever since I started penning words for pleasure, income or purpose whichever suits best as per situation, I realized the joy of using metaphors. Instead of scoring marks and lifting up the overall percentage, when these metaphors seemed appropriate for practical use, I could not contain my growing interest. And while I involve them in usual writing, I am excited to dedicate a post too.

  For those of you who were confident of scoring well in essays and ignored grammar for its boredom (I salute you), let me help you a bit. As indirect means of comparison, metaphors link two unrelated aspects to each other. It enables clear description of a word/phrase by comparing it to an object/material or a well-known occurrence. And while this helps understanding, it also serves as an interesting tool for language. Think about any philosophical thoughts and chances are you will come across many interesting metaphors. In fact philosophy, arts, literature and poetry draw a lot of influence from these metaphors that make it relatable, interesting, appealing and attractive.

  When I thought about metaphors, I felt what better way than to include those on life. After all, life is a giant puzzle and everything revolves around it. Walk with me as I take you through this listicle on life metaphors. These are common ones that must have hit your ears quite often in the past. In fact I am sure you must have come across each one of them. I present seven of the metaphors that I believe say it right. A big bow of gratitude and honor to all those who created them because it surely hits the target, right on point. Courtesy to the creative artists who brought these to life.

  Do feel free to add to the list with more interesting metaphors from your end, the fun is in knowing a bit more about the mysterious hero called life.

1.       Life is a journey

Probably the most common of all, life is often described as a journey. After all, it does start with our birth, taking us to different stations, destinations, places, stages and age-groups. It shows us different realities along the way and changes quite often. No matter how well we seem to know about our life, it keeps evolving with newer realities. Also like a journey, the fun is to keep exploring and moving ahead. Sitting within our comfortable station because we feel secure is incorrect, rather experiencing and evolving is the key.

2.       Life is a roller coaster ride

Another metaphor that makes total sense, life is nothing but an adventurous roller coaster ride. Picture the tall ride with numerous twists going up, down and taking turns when we least expect. Isn’t life similar to this? One moment you are going up with happiness and pleasures, only to unexpectedly fall down. Changes in situations that lie beyond our understanding is the real punch. Roller coaster is one such unexpected adventure that does spell fun, frolic and enjoyment. Often we look at the ride and seem to prepare ourselves for the twists, but unless we experience it first-hand, it is impossible to know how it actually feels. For all those of you who proudly (or timidly) avoid such rides in theme parks, there is no escape from the real one called life.

3.       Life is a jigsaw puzzle

I enjoy this metaphor for bringing back memories of childhood. Just like a jigsaw puzzle reveals the full picture only after connecting perfect pieces into each other, our life is similar too. The puzzle is to link our events, experiences and realities. We are often confused with the flow of our life, not realizing that each one of these events will reveal a wonderful picture step by step. As far as we trust the process and believe in the final output, our inputs will definitely bring value.

4.       Life is a maze

       With our share of uncertainties and confusions, there is no other metaphor to put it more aptly. Life is indeed a maze with confusing turns while we struggle to find our way out. Blame it on situations that seem to make us go from one way to the other, but they also prompt us to think, act, find alternatives and improve. The joy is in brimming with pride when we find the right way and laughing at our silliness when we get caught, once again!

5.       Life is a movie

 I am not sure if I have heard this somewhere or creating one on my own. But, how can one deny this metaphor when our life delivers all possible kind of drama?  There is everything in it that can be turned into a typical movie. We have location, scenery, props, plot, actors, villains, story, fun, laughter, emotions, mystery with occasional sad scenes and over the top melodrama. We also seem to have surrounding music score to match our story. While some stories are more dramatic to qualify as best-thrillers, few others are just plain with a feel-good factor. But at the end I am sure, we all have some twists and turns to form a good entertainer.

6.       Life is a book

Fill the pages with happiness, beliefs, thoughts, experiences, adventures and events and what you get is a thick book of life. The quality of this book will depend on our attitude. Whether we make it colorful with experiences both good/bad, happy/sad or whether we keep it plain and boring like a notebook, the choice was, is and will remain ours.

7.       Life is a river

This is one of my favorite metaphors. How often do we hear the thoughts “Go with the flow”, “Enjoy everything and be in the moment”,” Take it slowly and steadily”, “Wait for the right time.” All these point to the reality that life is similar to a river. It comes across hard rocks and hits against unexpected blocks on the way, but the joy lies in going with the flow. It flows beautifully delivering happiness and joy, all the while serving its purpose.

 So, what’s your verdict? Do you agree with the title and count them right? Or object to them, while suggesting some new ones from your basket? Type, write and share to solve this mystery together. After all, the aim is living our life, while sharing the essence with others. 

5 quick-fixes for bad mood

    To begin with, I sincerely hope you are never forced to use any of these ideas. Though I am pondering and penning and writing as always, I do not look forward to put you in a bad mood, just so that you can use these quick-fixes. Though we always dream of happy behavior without any bad moments, it may not turn out to be true. After all, we also dream of a perfect world with clear blue skies and rainbows, but need the rain too. 

  That one single moment of anger or sad mood can do more blunders than all the good done by an otherwise excellent personality.  Bad mood is similar to weed. It grows all around the field unattended and creates havoc much before you realize. If you do not curb it at the right moment, it can ruin your hour, day, month or worst yet, even an entire full year. No matter what reason or situation puts us in that said bad mood, the right thing is to eliminate the aura as soon as possible. Like a magic eraser, wipe away the situation quickly to prevent unnecessary disturbances for long.

  Though you may always exhibit a sound mind with perfect control of your actions and reactions, that one single moment of rage is enough to create troubles. One ill comment, one angry dialogue, one incorrect judgement and one negative remark may be enough for long episodes of sorrow and tears. I cannot speak on your behalf but I am guilty as charged to allow one wrong moment spoil the entire show. And even though ten minutes later, I magically transform into some beautiful heroine (no harm in imagining!), those few crucial moments of bad mood can turn me into a detested villain.

 We clearly understand all of this philosophy, yet why is it so difficult to keep bad mood at bay? Blame it on human nature or momentary mood swings, we tend to lose the precious robe of behavior at the last moment. When the stage is set and the lights are on, we are busy pampering an unnecessary royal mood. We fail to comprehend but bad mood does have a lot of power in its stride. It is powerful enough to spoil relationships, hurt our dear folks, create fights and lose bucket full of tears!

  Now I know in a sane world, my efforts should be directed towards preventing these momentary ill shows. I hear you parents, elders and all the matured people on this planet that I should not allow moments to influence my experiences. But till I gain that level of maturity, I need some quick-fix solutions. In a fast-paced world where we rely on hacks and fixes, I am tempted to list down some solutions when the ‘mood’ is bad.

 I do not endorse quick-fixes as the permanent solution. It does not mean we can let bad mood scribble something on the wall and wait for the fixes to wipe/hide/erase or paint over. It is just one of the several ways to handle the sorrow and eradicate it completely. Though we realize all that drama was for nothing, such level of maturity penetrates into our sound mind, only days after the show. Till then, the damage is done. So, what do you do? Before that one moment converts into days of sorrow, act on it quickly and come back to resolve it later with patience, belief and a sound mind. Attend to the reason that caused the havoc, but only after you can do so with logic, reasoning and maturity.

   Sharing my ideas for quick-fixes. These are tried and tested solutions, but I will always wait for your feedback. Feel free to agree, disagree, add, subtract, multiply, divide or praise as you please (why not openly wish for my two moments of fame!)

1.       Music ON, noise gone

Music is the best form of stress-buster and has an immense power to heal. Put on those earphones, play your favorite music and go for a long walk. Let the power of music guide you away from anger, sorrow and frustration. Though listening to music wherever you are is helpful too, walk a mile with the tune for guaranteed effect.

2.       The way to your heart is through the stomach

This is not one of the healthiest ideas, so please follow it with caution. Though bad mood generally causes over-eating, it works if you consume in moderation, just enough to erase the sorrow. Head to the kitchen– pick your favorite food item and let the taste get you out of the momentary misery. The quick-fix is to change the mood with something desirable, not to binge-eat and complain about the increased weight, the next day!

3.       Get hold of your ‘punching bag-listener’

This term is new, hence a little description. Punching bag-listener is like a new 3 a.m friend each time who can listen to your troubles without any judgement. It can be your mom, dad, spouse, sister, brother, friend, neighbor or colleague. Times like these demand talking it out but without any analysis. Speak to a person totally unrelated to the situation or else it will only add fuel to the fire where both parties increase the flames. Declare your intention before-hand and request the punching-bag listener to do ‘nothing else but listen’.  

4.       ‘Nature’ therapy to the rescue

Let Mother Nature handle your vows. She does a perfect job each time, after all she is a ‘mother’. Just look out of the window. Be lost in the spectacular sight of selfless clouds, sky, stars, mountains, birds. Click pictures of natural beauty on your phone wherever you go and browse through them at this much needed moment.

5.       Laugh it out

I agree laughter and bad mood are not even remotely related. When we are down with sorrow, laughter and comedy is the last thing on our mind. But that is the exact reason to introduce it into your situation right away. It will convert your tears to smiles. Watch a comedy series, movie or a funny video. Let the momentary boredom erase and distract you from anger.

Quick-fixes are quick for a reason. They take charge of the damage at the very instant, when it is needed the most. It may not be perfect or the most correct way of handling things, but it can at least prevent destruction. When anger and sorrow take over our mind, all we need is distraction and fresh air to deal with it later.

      What is your take? Constructive quick-fixes or destructive bucket full of tears, anger and choco-chip ice-cream?

P.S: Thank you for all the cute love in my last post. It made me blush cutely with affection for all you readers who mean so much to the wandering blogger in me.

V: Vacate without vacation

 I can actually picture you asking “Does that even make sense?” How is one supposed to vacate without actually going on a vacation? Isn’t the primary purpose of vacation to vacate our minds, schedule, responsibilities and explore around to do something fun? Going on a vacation is actually a birthright where you can stay off from work and usual routine to rejuvenate, relax and come back inspired. Irrespective of age, gender, occupation, income and lifestyle, everyone deserves a vacation once in a while. 

    Whether you stretch it over number of days to soak every possible luxury or crunch in between your busy schedule, whether you align it with your kids’ vacation (which is what happens usually) or take off solo to an exotic destination, each one of us should (bold for emphasis) invest in some form of vacation. Now though we all know the significance of vacation, there are somethings called as ‘budget’ and ‘time’ that may not permit it so often. While juggling between holidays, work, finances and mounting priorities, this exciting experience often takes a backseat. Though we strive to take that big annual vacation, it may not materialize, depending on the task at hand.

  Talking about significance of vacation is not the primary aim of this post. Before I wander into the beauty of vacations and find myself in some exotic place (read: Hawaii or Florida or Spain or Maldives or France- my fingers are doing all of this typing, involuntarily!), let me get back to the title in question. Since I know my blogger mind well, I am sure it will take me to some destination right while sitting at this desk (much to the delight and happiness of my husband), but that is not the intention of this post. 

  When it was time to craft about the next letter in series ‘V’, I was unknowingly attracted towards the word ‘vacation’. I am not sure whom should I hold responsible? Whether it is my freelance writer profile that types off travel articles now and then or my blogger mind who can just wander away into the world of thoughts, there is something quite appealing about ‘vacation’. The thought of vacation pulls me into a magical world of experiences, reflecting over my choice of words. And hence before I know it, I am using it as the next word in my series.

   But (there are always buts and ifs), taking a vacation is not something that happens easily. In fact planning, executing, packing and traveling form a long series of events that often scare people off. And returning after a relaxing vacation is another bitter experience. Looking at those photographs, while trying to focus back on work is nothing less than a herculean task. This is when you realize the appropriateness of the statement “I will need another vacation to get over the fun of this vacation”. Do not make an attempt to read between the lines and convince your family not to go for one. In no way, am I endorsing the harm of vacation. But, when the feasibility and possibility of taking multiple vacations is impossible to say the least, the mind does something termed as ‘hack’.

 It does not replace long relaxing holidays completely, yet offers some moments of vacation within a day. In today’s world where we can find some twisted solution for everything, I was inspired why not do the same for vacation? This is how the idea ‘vacate without vacation’ comes into picture.

  It is not a foolproof idea or a practical innovation. Do not blame me if it does not work for you. But, do thank me if it saves your money! We often focus over the physical benefits of vacation. Because we travel someplace else, it energizes our body and mind. So, if we could extract a part of this essence into our everyday life, can we enjoy vacated moments in a day? If the aim of a vacation is to vacate our minds, taking off the usual pressures and doing something off the charts, can we do it along the daily routine too? And beyond moving from point A to point B at far off places, can vacation mean vacating right here and now? I agree it does not replace traveling, but is it still worth a try? This approach will definitely work for the mind portion, but not the body. When we stir away from expected chores for a short while and seek relaxation within a day, it is entirely possible to do so. I am sure most of us will tend to blame ‘busy’ routine and ‘tight’ schedule before going ahead. 24 hours in a day are insufficient for our normal chores, let alone introduce some off-the-way vacated moments? But, we can always strive to see if it works. It has worked for me, hence I will persuade you to see if this experiment succeeds.

   Going forward, ideas do not work unless backed with practical actions. Unless I share my tools of vacating without vacations, I cannot expect feedback from your end. These are just usual actions that we all perform along a day. What matters is the perspective. After reading, you may realize it is nothing different- in fact well within your schedule. You are already doing it, but not through the same lens. If you look at it as ‘vacating’, it may mean something inspirational. Often when we look at things the other way, it does turn beneficial.

   Treat them as examples and inputs from my end. I will wait for your ideas, and actions to add to the pool. Together we can look at life a little differently.

1.       Looking at nature- I cannot think of any form of relaxation so pure, rich, effective and natural than looking at nature. As I admire the sight of mountains, sunset, clouds, trees or just the plain blue sky, it transports me someplace else. So much is the power of their presence, they manage to vacate my mind and fill it with inspiration. It forces me to go ‘carpe diem’, everything we want is here and now. Devoting few moments in the day, just to admire natural beauty turns it into a vacation of a sort, too good to put into words.

2.       Reading a book – Though this activity is more of a job requirement for my profile, it never feels so. Reading a book turns into a meditative action, as I enjoy the flow of words. No other action can demand your senses to be right there and concentrate to the fullest. It takes away all the usual thoughts from the mind, while all you are expected to do is focus on the line in sight.

3.       Watching few minutes of comedy- This manner of vacating mind is encouraged only for a short while. Otherwise you will blame me for excessive television time. I never understood the joy of watching serious thrillers over screen. When in life we are already surrounded by enough dark clouds, why don’t we relax in something as funny as good, healthy humor? I am not in any position to criticize suspense, thriller or reality-based genres. It takes lot of efforts to create one. But in order to align with my sense of vacating mind, few minutes of comedy is the best solution to do so. English series F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Hindi program ‘Taarak Mehta ka Ooltah Chasmah’ are my go-to solutions to just forget and laugh off.

4.       Savoring that first sip of coffee- Save the criticism, medical articles and theories about harm/benefit of coffee for later use, because one cup per day does more good than harm. I am sorry but my love for coffee automatically puts me into a defensive mode. It may be coffee, tea or chocolate milk for you, but the underlying factor is calmness, peace, energy and confidence that follows. I truly get all of this from just one cup because that silence for a short while is enough vacation for an entire day.

  If we seek such moments of vacation in our daily schedule, it will surely offer some benefits. I agree it cannot replace the joy of visiting places or ticking off items from your travel list. As a strong advocate of traveling, I myself will jump at the first opportunity to get going. But, finding happiness to make each day special is what defines our outlook towards life. If we are able to fill such ‘blissful’ moments in the canvas of our day, the entire picture will look much more appealing, while we count days for the next trip.

 Ready to vacate without vacation? Do share your feedback, criticism, agreement or disagreement. It is always fun to continue the discussion ‘off-the-record’!

S: Sugar, salt, spice – flavorful lessons in disguise

   

   At this point, I think I am spending way too much time eating, savoring or drooling over food or else how can I justify the choice of picking these words? When it was time to write about the next letter in series S, I was surprised by these words, nagging their way into my thoughts. And before I know it, I am typing them happily with a smile over my stomach! 

  While the letter S seemed easy with so many words to pick from, my mind went straight into the kitchen. Though my blogging fingers could type about some serious aspects such as ‘S for Sacrifice’ or ‘S for Satisfaction’, I wonder about its decision to go for these basic ingredients of food. But, nothing can be done about it now and so here I am pondering about the ABC of every cuisine.

   Sugar, salt and spice need no introduction - They are the first things that greet you in your kitchen as you look forward to cooking or savoring a meal. No matter what part you play in the process of food preparation, you know about the necessity of these basic heroes. And at the same time, no matter what equation you share with your food, you will still need these three in your system. 

  

   Whether you are a die-hard foodie with a strong inseparable bond or a non-foodie with pure professional ties for survival; you will know about the significance of sugar, salt, spice. It does not take a chef to create magic with these three, all it takes are our ‘know-it-all’ taste buds who can sense their presence or absence right away.

  Sugar, salt, spice are rightly termed as ‘basic’ because of their ability to change the outcome of food. Just think about any kind of dish in any cuisine across the globe, these three find their way into it. Sure, the proportions may vary or the combination of spices may change, but at the end, they are required in some amounts. Also, I agree it is essential to reduce the quantity of sugar and salt for health reasons or lower down spices for a trouble-free appetite, but it still manages to create difference in the overall taste.

  More than the quantity, it is their indispensable nature that forced me to think about it. I do not intend to write a scientific article explaining the need to cut them down for good health or a culinary article talking about how to use them for good taste. My idea is to learn something from these three. Their indispensable nature coupled with the ability to lose themselves completely into the meal yet retain their value has prompted me to think.

 What lessons can I learn from them in my own flavorful dish called life?

 What do these three ingredients teach us, when they make their presence felt in every morsel we eat?

And even if the quantity is reduced, how do they manage to create an impact that speaks (in this case, an impact that tastes)

  I will need your ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking capacity as this article is off-beat in true sense. And if you disagree with any thought along the way, kindly take it with a pinch of salt.

 Here are some of the lessons disguised behind these ingredients as I see them. Feel free to agree/disagree/appreciate or argue in the feedback (you can even express your affection with a treat involving sugar/salt/spice- used separately though!)

1.       Add individualistic value that matters – Be it sugar that sweetens the dessert or salt/spice adding its savory feel, each of these ingredients add their own specific essence to the food. Much like our own life and its journey, it is essential to form our own identity. Engage in passion that adds to your happiness. Live with a purpose to do something good. Contribute your share in collective projects with a unique touch that distinguishes. Add meaning, love, affection, dedication to everything you do. And lastly, do productive things that help those around us.

2.       Appearances are insignificant – Each of these three factors blend into the meal, without the need to be visible. The ability to add essence without screaming their presence loud and clear points to the insignificance of appearance. We can always do good things without the need to show it all. Also, we can be happy without explaining/justifying or proving it to others. As long as you are convinced of your happiness, there is no need to display it always. In today’s world of social media, we end up comparing what shines to what smiles. But, it is equally possible to lay low and soak the fun. It is one thing to share your happiness with those around, and another to make your presence felt by loud appearances.

3.       Dive right into the project – Sugar, salt and spice should be dissolved or mixed well into the meal for their flavors. If we look at it in a metaphorical context, it can mean blending ourselves into life. Unless we mix well in our work with dedication, commitment, determination and desire to make a difference, it may be unproductive to say the least. It is essential to dissolve ourselves into hard work and efforts. Opportunities, situations and circumstances can come and go, but nothing can justify the lack of our participation and involvement. Diving straight into the situation is essential to extract the happiness and satisfaction that follows.

4.       Make yourself unique and indispensable- Sure, there are healthy substitutes to the sweetness of sugar, but salt and spices are indispensable. And even if there are sugar replacements such as honey or jaggery, there is something unique about sugar that makes its absence felt. This prompts me to extrapolate the same into life and see if it works. Find some unique quality and build it further. Make your presence indispensable by contributing something valuable at work. Strive to develop your passion/hobby or work-profile, giving yourself an edge over others. Do what you like and see yourself grow. Creating a niche is essential in our lives. Let people remember you for your uniqueness.

5.       Excess of anything is bad – Your sweet-tooth cannot handle excess sugar in any sweets. Neither can your love for spicy food handle more than acceptable proportion of spices. Anything in excess is unacceptable, undesirable and simply incorrect. Finding a balance is always essential. And this logic applies to every aspect of life. Work, play, entertainment, travel, leisure or relaxation-everything in moderation is the right key.

     Though it is unusual to learn from something as basic as sugar, salt or spice- opening our mindset and seeking values from everything we come across is the way to grow. A month old baby can also teach us as much as any non-living object around. 

  The point is not to judge the teacher or source but to take in the values that follow. 

   As for me, my mind is finally happy for using its choice of words, but stomach is demanding something that involves these three (again to clarify - used separately though!)