He said....She said...

  

    Confused by the title of the blog? Well, my aim was not to confuse the reader in you, but to make you think.

What is the most obvious relationship that always manages to engage into interesting and unique conversations?

  While some of you must have guessed it right, let me share my own idea behind this tricky question. Conversation between a man and his woman bonded by the sacred relationship of marriage give way to best unique moments ever. Misunderstanding, confusion, love, care, war, naughtiness, craziness and loads of his and her interpretations mark their talks, as both struggle together as a team.

   Though as a woman, I may tend to lean towards the feminine strength in this conversation, the blogger in me will strive towards delivering a perfect balanced entertainment. Inspired by our own conversations as a couple, I always realize this form of communication is truly the best storehouse of fun.

   While he says something, she refuses to accept or understands it in a different light, giving way to arguments and funny replies. Likewise, her talks are greeted with unusual interpretations and hilarious words.

    This form of entertainment does not apply to every conversation between a couple. While some important decisions and plans demand serious discussion between the two, remaining others are free for unlimited fun and humor. Though it is impossible to generalize every couple under this umbrella of entertaining conversation, it certainly applies to most of the man-woman duo. Probably, the only relationship that allows freedom of speech, leading to arguments and fights; only to be followed by endless love and warmth at the very next instant, this ‘he said…she said’ is truly unbelievable in every way.

     While playing their role as partners and handling the show of the house as teammates, these two characters of husband and wife encounter several challenges. As two minds, but one team; when they engage into their course of activities, there are expected chances of confusion. When one says, the other loves to disagree, and when the other speaks up, this one refuses to agree. Giving way to their own style of conversations, these disagreements decorate the course of the relationship. Though my married experience of 1.5 years is definitely too short to be considered as rich; quiet observation and careful analysis of couples for all these years has certainly added to the value. From parents to relatives, grandparents to cousins, friends to neighbors, as I have witnessed these exciting encounters, it definitely seems significant in every way.

      If you observe carefully, none of these conversations are designed with an aim to win the trophy, they are only meant for having some ‘say’ in every topic. Be it food, groceries, house, children, school, vacation, office, career, relatives, friends or in-laws, each of the two must contribute in their own unique way. With typical instincts of a man or a woman, when the two participate in the discussion, there are expected course of agreements and disagreements. What surprises me is the quick transformation from war to peace. What starts off as a serious form of verbal encounter with unique weapon of words, immediately converts into love and peace, as the two resume with their normal course of life. Programmed to perform in a dynamic environment of love and hatred, God must be designing this unique program for every married couple. 

    

     No wonder these unusual and difficult equations must be preventing all the singles from following the mistake of their married friends, keeping them peaceful and calm. Though I will not blame these singles to think in such a manner, marriage is truly magical in its own way. No matter how many versions of these conversations enter into our daily routine, I believe they truly decorate the course of our married life.

    Let me take you through some of these examples of classic ‘he said…she said’ instances.

Disclaimer: For all the readers: Though I was tempted to take real-life references from our own conversation as a couple, each of these examples are purely fictitious in nature, bearing no resemblance to us or any of my people in the universe.

 For all the men: Though the woman in me shall be tempted to empower the feminine side of the conversation, I am working towards a perfect balance. Any marked bias towards feminine victory shall be a part of the natural flow, purely unintentional.

For all the women: Though you may expect more preference and advantage, I have promised to remain balanced. Stay assured, feminine victory is truly natural and does not need any adjustments!

When he starts the conversation....

1.       He said: “You look different and beautiful today”

  She said: “Thank you, but what do you mean by ‘today’? You mean to say I am not beautiful always?”

  He said: “I said it because of the new dress you are wearing, it suits you”

  She said: “So now, the dresses will decide if I am beautiful or not?”

2.       He said: “Let us do some cleaning of the house this weekend.”

  She said: “I do it every single day, by suggesting a master plan of cleanliness for this weekend, you intend to point that I don’t keep the house clean?

  He said: “No my point was to help you with it, since you do it alone all week round.”

  She said: “Yes right, your cleaning help for a single day will be able to replace all my hard work of the entire week?”

When she does: 

1.       She said: “I have done all the packing for the trip.”

   He said: “But I did the most important job.”

   She said: “Spending the entire day behind making lists and talking about its significance does not constitute important job.”

   He said: “Lists will guide us about the things to carry, this reminds me did you pack all the essential items marked in red in accordance with the list?”

2.       She said: “Help me in kitchen this weekend, we have to cook dinner for the get-together function.”

  He said: “Let us bring food from a restaurant, cooking will be too tedious.”

  She said: “But you yourself proposed home-cooked food for cost and quality.”

  He said: “My friend told me about a new restaurant -economical and excellent quality food, I did not know about it until yesterday, hence I propose the change in plan.”

    Now, I am sure these sound totally funny and avoidable, as we read them as sane individuals; but in real lives, when we enter into the skin of the character, no one can stop us from our unreasonable and enthusiastic participation!

    Though I would have loved to continue these conversations in the natural flow, the blog length demands an exit. Hope you enjoyed this unusual topic that is perhaps an interesting aspect for all the married couples.

    So whether, he said or she said, let both of them continue the game of thrones over words, after all these sweet conversations are symbol of their love, care, trust and togetherness!

   

That unreliable, unfaithful, uncertain, unusual friend called ‘MOOD’

   

     This is the same ‘Mood’ that makes you good, bad, happy, sad, helpful, cheerful, annoying, irritating, embarrassing and unpredictable. An aspect that refuses to part away from your personality, a factor that decides the fate of your experiences and adventures, mood chooses to stay with you as your shadow.

   So, why have I framed it as a ‘friend’? What features of this ‘Mood’ reflect the relation of friendship?

     Mood accompanies, supports, stays and claims responsibility for our mistakes. When people around seem to alienate from us, this crazy, unusual mood comes to the rescue. Forcing us to respect, respond, value and acknowledge, mood makes valuable space for itself. Often prone to misunderstandings and confusion, mood bears the blame for many of our actions. As an integral state of mind that determines our attitude, behavior, conduct and presentation, mood certainly decides a lot for us. As it presents us to the world around, this mood needs to be protected in a flawless manner.

   Many a times, our actions, responses and reactions seem to be out of control. Though we may not realize the real culprit at that very instant, we may conveniently blame it over our mood at a later stage in future. A powerful weapon fueled with the ability to influence our moments, memories and experiences, mood determines ‘the end’ to every activity. Though mood is believed to cast such an influential spell over our living, it is very important to bring it under our tools. By allowing bad mood to spoil a significant event or by letting an overconfident, happy mood take over the charge of a serious responsibility, we may experience failure, troubles, disappointment and sorrow.

     Mood is a temporary player that can bring permanent changes. Words arising from an angry mood can cause undesirable strains in a relation, conclusions made during the state of boredom can form permanent images in our head. Though these are some of the examples of an undesirable mood, there are some happy features, too. Energetic, enthusiastic, cheerful and lively mood can set a stage for power, ambition, tasks and actions. Mood laced with happiness prompts us to think beyond the limits and expand our horizon.

     If you observe closely, mood is a background that can change the overall effect of a picture. When you think about a plan for the future, the same idea may seem exciting, welcoming, possible and achievable during a happy mood; spelling out success and hope, over and over again. Nothing may seem difficult or impossible along the way. Though challenges may present their case, these may appear as achievable in the light of a hopeful mood filled with energy. Now, if we imagine these same ideas in a sad, gloomy and dark mood, every aspect of the plan may come across as an impossible block. By allowing the sad mood to take charge, every happy factor may transform into sadness, every hopeful agenda may turn into hopeless action and every manageable task may convert into an impossible load.

      For a more related example to this thought, I am tempted to ponder about our moods along different times of the day or along different days of the week. Early morning mood reflects seriousness, maturity and an absolutely no-nonsense behavior. Combined with a vulnerable and non-resistant attitude, any major discussions, plans and concerns during the morning can leave a major impact. As the day progresses, the afternoon sun takes away some seriousness from the concern, leaving behind a lazy mood and careless attitude. Setting sun may wipe away all the cares completely. What may seem as a major worry during the start of the day gets converted into a manageable job by the end, leading to a good night and a happy mind. This answers the question why Monday morning talks, plans and actions seem irritating and annoying, but the same aspects seem colorful and bright along the weekends. In each of these experiences, the innocent, yet powerful mood certainly does its job well!

      While talking about mood, we cannot forget to include its famous partnership by the name ‘mood-swings’! Known to be the best friend of females alone, I often wonder about the source of origin of such a false claim. Though women excel in the art of expression, making them the best communicators and emotional members, men also exhibit the shades of mood-swings, quite prominently. As deep bond between women and mood-swings has been depicted since several ages in the past, this norm has been safeguarding men till date. Be it shouting from mother or useful instructions from wife, be it serious advice from sister or sincere words from daughter, men always find it convenient to transfer every single action of women and every single blame on them over the usual ‘mood-swings’.

     With this, let us perform a fun exercise to celebrate this friendship with MOOD.

Think about your reactions to the following ideas, while being in diverse moods:

1.       Suggestion of a vacation trip by family or friends:

i.   When you are broke.

ii.   In the middle of a difficult assignment on a busy Tuesday.

iii.  During a relaxed and lazy Sunday afternoon.

2.       News about a friend’s wedding or birth of their first child.

 i.   When you are being pressurized for these activities by your own parents.

ii.    When meeting friends over a weekend

iii.   While speaking with your thoughts late in the night.

3.       Plans about purchasing a house or a car

i.  When calculating the practical costs with the dealer.

ii.  When dreaming about it with your family.

iii.  When worrying about its expenses and after-effects in the middle of your work.

Each of these thoughts will reflect the power of mood. Though a particular action may seem impossible or weird under the influence of a sad mood that very same aspect will jump with joy during a happy one.

P.S: A note for all the men, though the feminine blogger in me has blamed you all for the misunderstandings with mood-swings, you can continue to pamper your woman under the pretext of her regular, expected, unpredictable friends!

Thank you for feeding the creativity in me.

     

      While you are wondering about the title of this post or pondering about its recipient, let me clear it out for you. This thank you note is meant for every single reader such as yourself. Readers who constantly give me their valuable feedback, readers who prompt me to improve with each passing post, readers who connect with the writer in me, this is an appreciation account for each one of you. Be it in the form of a personal message or a comment, be it through likes and shares on social media platform or through spoken words of encouragement, every single feedback has been extremely valuable for this humble, little blogger.

     Feeding back response, criticism, improvement and appreciation to the creator of an art is the novel task of ‘feedback’ that helps in innumerable ways than we can think about.

   Be it positive encouragement or negative criticism, every form of feedback brings out the best in a person. By offering an honest and true picture, feedback offers scope for improvement. Though the heart in me always longs for words of appreciation and praises, my mind reminds me about the need to wish for a sincere feedback. While some aspects may work in my favor and enable constant flow of appreciation, certain factors may need improvement, prompting me to evolve, develop, flourish and grow. Besides the ability to create and display, it is extremely essential to show sincere willingness towards honest feedback. As a growth supplement that can promote success and satisfaction, feedback is certainly the key player in the game.

      Feedback is a universal factor that works in every single domain of our life. Be it academics in school or work assignment in office, be it arts, hobbies, talents and skills or activities of recreation, feedback encourages the creator within us; bringing out smiles, laughter, happiness and satisfaction. While offering an honest opinion is the rule of the feedback game, false praises and manipulative words with an aim to look good can do more harm than one can imagine. Besides the eagerness to bombard one with feedback, we must also have the capacity to accept the feedback from others.

    Along the journey of a blogger and writer so far, I have now realized the value of feedback closely. Expecting feedback from every single reader for each of my posts, hoping for nothing besides praises and longing for positive comments were some of my incorrect demands as an amateur writer. As I moved along the path, I came closer to the true realities of feedback. Born with an aim to improve and evolve, rather than flatter and look good, the true meaning of feedback presented itself right in front of my eyes. While I appreciate the influence and presence of feedback, I always look forward to the opportunity of receiving it.

    Feedback does not follow any particular pattern or adheres to any specific rules. Be it any form, manner, mode or medium, the job of feedback is to reach to its rightful owner. By offering its message, feedback initiates the job of improvement. As honest and true feedback is more beneficial than false words of praises, one must display willingness to accept every piece of criticism that comes their way. As I evolved with passing time, I understood the harm in crying over negative comments. Though such words shine under the light of negativity, their true aim is to prevent similar mistakes in the future. Understanding the true meaning of feedback and utilizing it for one’s own progress is the key to success. Drawing happiness and joy from positive feedback; analyzing, interpreting and learning from negative feedback and striving towards improvement all along can bring out the best from deep within.

Back to the thank you note, let me spell out every single reason for the gratitude and appreciation:

THANK YOU ALL:

-          For reading my posts and enjoying all its flavors.

-          For boosting my confidence as a blogger and encouraging me to continue this mode of expression.

-          For motivating me to display my love for words.

-          For encouraging me to expand my horizon, as articles and write-ups have entered into the basket along with blogs.

-          For inspiring me to return back with new topics and fresh pieces.

-          For pointing out my weaknesses and prompting me to develop my strengths.

-          For playing along with me in this game of words as readers are the most important components.

-          For strengthening the belief that I can express my thoughts, beliefs, memories and experiences in the written form.

-          For being there for me as enthusiastic readers with patient thoughts, eager eyes and happy heart.

and lastly,

-          For reading my extremely long posts without any complaints!

   Thank you for every single factor mentioned above, besides any other aspect I must have forgotten about.

 Thank you for feeding me with creativity, confidence, happiness and satisfaction, after all your feedback definitely feeds me well! 

Experiences of Indian cuisine on a foreign land!

A guide on what to expect and what not to expect in Indian restaurants for the foodies abroad.

      Though I strongly believe in the thought ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ and I do enjoy the local flavors of diverse cuisines in this foreign land- the tongue, eyes and stomach can never stop their craving for Indian food. Residing in foreign soil for more than a year now, the excitement and happiness to look around for Indian restaurants continues to stay strong. Though my interest towards cooking inspires me to stay close to the roots of Indian cuisine, it cannot replace the joy of enjoying a ready meal in a relaxing ambiance. With this thought in mind, as me and my husband hunt around for Indian restaurants and fast-food joints, the joy of experiencing diverse flavors of home country, while being miles away add to the overall appeal of the food.

      With increasing demand for Indian cuisine, several style of restaurants have made home in the United States. From authentic South Indian delicacies to true North Indian varieties, from popular street food dishes to interesting sweets and desserts, Indian cuisine has made its way into the hearts of people around. One peculiar aspect of these restaurants that always grabs my attention is their perfect balance between taste and surrounding. While serving authentic Indian food with its unique touch of spices, ingredients, preparation and recipes, these restaurants perform an excellent task of blending it well with the ambiance of the foreign surrounding.

      Relishing Indian cuisine, while being abroad bring back wonderful memories of the home soil. Though enjoying such Indian food in a restaurant may be an affair of a few minutes or hours, the experience and ambiance showers a lot more. The experience certainly seems heart-warming and welcoming, while I admire the same joy back home. The excitement of spotting a favorite dish on the menu card or happiness of searching a restaurant that serves the same style of favorite food truly brings a big, board smile on the face of every NRI!

      Sharing these experiences with family and friends or showing off the happiness of enjoying authentic Indian cuisine in the foreign land soon turns into a matter of pride, as it acts as a means to be closer to the Indian residing deep within. Though these restaurants toil to offer the best possible pure taste with their true preparation, there are several chances of disappointment along the way. Hoping to relish the same taste, yet residing miles away can lead to some troubles as the mind and tongue are still programmed for the flavors from home soil. During times like these, I realize the contribution of water, soil, climate, local harvest and environment in offering the final masterpiece. Though one may mimic these conditions in every possible way, the freshness of air and tanginess of local spice shall certainly differ.

      Besides filling the stomach with delicious food and pampering the tongue with its authentic taste, Indian cuisine always drives me over the lane of nostalgia. Though these restaurants are famous among Indians longing to get a feel of the home land; some of these are equally famous among local folks, too. Offering them a sneak peek view of the Indian land, such restaurants can attract them to experience the real feel of the country.

 Such is the magic of relishing Indian cuisine on the foreign land. While this aspect of Indian cuisine and food may have been taken for granted while residing back home, it has truly occupied the center-stage miles away.

       Though I and my husband love the opportunity to explore Indian cuisine, we always experience a fixed circle of emotions. Starting with interest and excitement, moving towards appreciation, proceeding towards deep observation, analysis and discussion and finally ending the conservation with wonders of taste back home, this order of events is bound to repeat after every adventure. After gaining valuable feedback and suggestions from our friends around, when we look forward to the experience of relishing this Indian food, we are almost sure of the repetition of these events.

   As a guide for my fellow NRIs or as a learning tutorial for all those about to make this land their second home, let me frame certain useful points of advice. Though individual experiences and encounters differ for each one, the blogger in me cannot stop herself from doing the obvious- talking, writing, talking and some more writing. While I share these experiences with you, enjoy every single piece of information – whether you are a prospective NRI who can note these for future reference, or an existing member of the club who can relate with it, whether you are RI (residential Indian ;) who can draw humor with occasional wish to offer sympathy or a person confused to decide which club to enter into, sit back and enjoy this gift of words!

1.       Looks can be deceptive:

  

   While name of a restaurant may tempt the patriot in you, or its online description and reviews may bring out the Indian in you, it may not necessarily turn out to be as expected. Though looks and ambiance may reflect our country in every way, it may just prove as a deceptive magnet for the Indian foodie in you.

2.       Enter at your own risk:

   Now, though your friends, colleagues and neighbors may give you a patriotic speech about the true taste and authentic flavors of food served in an Indian restaurant, do not forget about the diverse varieties within the Indian cuisine and complexities within various cultures. So while south, north, west and east of Indian cuisine shall differ by all means, enter at your own risk to experience the spread as described.

3.       Keep comparisons and analysis at bay:

   An aspect that we learned the hard way, comparing Indian food with the one served at home can lead to nothing besides disappointment. Though Indian restaurants abroad toil to offer the best experience to its patrons with close resemblance to ingredients, taste, flavors and presentation, it is absolutely inappropriate to compare them with Indian restaurants in India. By handling several contrasting factors along the way, they truly bear the brunt of expectations.

    While settling in a foreign land, yet offering a cuisine that can appeal to all, this transaction certainly calls for more hard work and consistent efforts. Enjoying their offered menu without any preconceived ideas and judgments can enhance the overall dining experience. As the only means that can connect an NRI back to the home ground, they certainly deserve the credit, respect and gratitude.

4.       Relish your meal with a pinch of salt!

    Though we may not bother much about the ingredients, style, pairing and presentation of food, while relishing a meal in a restaurant in India, all these observations and analysis come out effortlessly, while at a restaurant abroad. As patriotism and love for the country reaches its peak at such places, it is necessary to savor the taste with a pinch of salt. Disappointment due to over-analysis or impossible expectations from the restaurant staff will only add to the pile of sorrow.

5.       Adaption is the rule for survival

    While Indian restaurants make efforts to survive and flourish in a foreign environment, they have to adopt certain variations and changes. By adapting themselves to the needs, demands, expectations and customs of local land, they may be forced to drift away from an authentic taste. Be it involvement of local vegetables or change in source of spices, be it change in the presentation or inclusion of side dishes, adjusting to the local demands is the need of the hour.

Hope these guidelines can entertain and guide at the same time. As we continue our adventures and experiences, I hope to add some more content in the future!