J: Jokes ‘apart’ or ‘a part’ - just kidding can be ‘just’ too!

   

    To begin with, as a little ignorant kid I always thought jokes were absolutely unnecessary, useless and the greatest time-killers of all. Firmly believing in their childish appeal, I equated them with immaturity. While seriousness and maturity defined elders, I believed jokes were only reserved to entertain little innocent minds. I pictured a fictional world where jokes posed as distractions and laughter as loud blaring noise. Hence, not engaging in them as adults seemed to be the perfect way of embracing adulthood.

    I was always sure that the flavors of jokes and humor are meant to fade with passing time, making us matured and responsible in the world full of elders. There was nothing ‘just’ about ‘just kidding’ or ‘just joking’. But as they say, you cannot test the waves from the shore, I could not gauge the value of laughter and humor as a little child, back then. 

   Experience of adulthood transformed my opinion completely. So much is the significance of humor, laughter, jokes and mischief that it bagged a place in my A-Z series, ringing the next letter ‘J’. These pieces of entertainment represent the perfect balance in life, urging us to be sane, yet stupid at the same time.

   Whether they greet us in the form of funny messages on social media or perfectly timed silly dialogues on screen, whether they originate from the funniest person in our group or quick-witted reply from our loved ones, jokes and their subsequent laughter are extremely essential, to say the least.

What is the fun of meeting your set of people, if you cannot joke, tease or poke at them in any way?

What is the point of calling someone your ‘own’, when you cannot laugh at them openly?

How do you lighten the burden of adulthood, if you cannot laugh at yourself for the silliest goof-ups along the way?

And what is the harm in expressing your love, affection, concern or involvement by kidding with your people?

  As an excuse to answer these questions, do not mock me or pull my leg with some funny words as feedback. This is a serious blog post meant for serious discussion, I do not intend to be the lab-mice as you look for solutions to the above queries. And though the title starts with ‘jokes’, it is not meant to be funny in any way. Hence, read on seriously, as we contemplate over the issue as adults.

(‘Just kidding!!!!’.  I hope I succeeded in my desperate attempt to joke around. If I was able to fool you for at least 1/4^th section of the above lines, you will find me in some party, celebrating my new-found success!)

  On a serious note – jokes, laughter and humor are essential along every step of our life. The amount, meaning, frequency, audience and source will definitely change, but the effect shall remain the same. Jokes lighten up our feelings, changing the perspective towards things. You cannot be stern or serious all the time, in an attempt to be responsible. As lighter parts of life that stand for just nothing, jokes are meant for nothing, but fun. Not everything in life is designed for a purpose, hence enjoy humor as a totally purposeless activity.

     As long as you do not annoy people with some offending humor to pull them down, you are good to go. While you cannot judge the impact of your humor or predict their repetitiveness, every single time, it definitely demands common sense just as any other common conversation. And, while creating jokes is fun, being at the receiver’s end should be equally fun too. At times, it is essential to be absolutely senseless, if that makes any sense. Without judgments, conclusions, comments, offense and meaning, it is necessary to just joke around. After all,  mindless comedy has 'less' attached to 'mind'.

   If the words in this title actually stood for real club with members, I see myself enrolled in the ‘jokes are a part’ one. While my ignorant child-dish version would have joined the ‘jokes apart’ club with pride- maturity and adulthood has finally knocked some sense to take away that sense from somethings. It does not mean you have to create jokes every day or randomly mock at people to show your funny quotient. As long as you can open up to laughter and humor powered by a pure motive, there is nothing to worry about.

  In this sensitive and controversial era, where we can offend someone easily or get offended in return, there are some essential pointers around the domain of humor. Read along as I share four interesting aspects of jokes, more like essential laws of humor from my book of knowledge. These are handy, when the silly joker in me decides to run around, without bothering about the consequences.

1.       Jokes and humor are highly subjective with respect to-

1.       age

2.       gender

3.       caste

4.       creed

5.       race

6.       religion

7.       relationship

8.       lifestyle

9.       mood

10.   time

11.   day

12.   month

13.   year

14.   season

15.   need

16.   desire

17.   situation

18.   circumstance

19.   event

20.   occasion

21.   nationality

22.   culture

23.   history

24.   geography

25.   science

26.   mathematics

… wait, does that list even make any sense? Of course not, usefulness of your jokes and reaction of the recipient are totally unpredictable. Hence, choose your audience wisely and joke around only after you gauge the surroundings, correctly! What is funny for one may not be the same for others. A little common-sense and logic can save you from a bitter after-taste to your sweet jokes.

(Word of caution: No logic works in front of your wife. So, quit any attempts to sound funny, and appreciate her jokes, no matter how sad they seem.

Yes, dear husband, it was meant for you too, ever heard of two birds with one shot?)

2.       If you are talking about something to someone and it turns offensive in the middle of the conversation (sensing their anger); quickly use ‘just kidding’ and two bouts of fake laughter to save you from some dangerous consequences.

(Inspired from my dear better-half who seems to have aced this formula, perfectly)

3.       Before learning how to create jokes, learn how to handle them. Any piece of humor, digested incorrectly can lead to upset conditions, anger, tears and sorrow that may spoil the entire system. Stay quiet for some time and let the wave pass, before you can create something equally funny.

4.       Find your consistent and favorite stock of humor- may be a television series, comedy show, movie or a book. Turn to them when you feel sad, happy, bored, irritated or simply whenever you feel like (my personal favorites and recommendation – serial 'Taarak Mehta ka Ooltah Chasmah' and series 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S')

       Share your take over the same and let us laugh at each other along the way. After all what is the fun of life, without any seasonings of laughter?

P.S: Though these rules are framed for myself, if you ever decide to follow them, DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. Fortunately or unfortunately, if they turn out to be a blunder, do not blame me under any circumstances. I have been highlighting, quoting and repeating ‘just joking’, for a reason.

I: Inner peace fuels your system, refill it as an obvious task to keep going

 How many of you believe in the power of inner mind?

 How many of you believe that your mind is the supplier of love, affection, happiness and peace?

 How many of you believe that peace can strengthen the mind and body to be in a good form always?

And lastly, how many of you believe that inner peace can take your life where it wants to be?

  Pardon me for bombarding you with these philosophical questions, right at the start of my post that rings the next letter ‘I’. But, asking these questions and forcing you to answer them right away will direct you towards the appropriate perspective. 

Answer 'NO': If each of these thoughts mean nothing but random creative ideas of a blogger, you can read along as just another article, only to forget it as soon as you complete doing so. 

Answer 'YES': But if you resonate with it in any way and consider them to be true, we can agree to contemplate together, reaching some beneficial conclusion till the end.

   Before I wave the green flag to my train of thoughts, it is essential to define my version of ‘inner peace’. Unlike ‘peace’ that depends over situations, circumstances, people and surroundings, inner peace does not need anything or anyone, except ‘you’ alone.

 It is the state of stability, silence, happiness and satisfaction which sprouts from within. It finds its roots in the deepest corner of your own heart, inspiring you to take the lead. 

"Inner peace is finding your purpose on this planet, figuring out what makes you happy and how do you achieve it." This does not translate to ‘selfishness’ or loneliness’ in any way, but it prompts you to love yourself, before you extend that branch to someone else.

    Despite difficult situations and challenges around you, inner peace forces you to think with a stable state. It is similar to a vial of energy booster that reaches the mind, instead of the body. While choosing mind over body, inner peace flexes the muscles that think, believe, trust and analyze.

 If inner peace is as useful as it sounds, how do we know we bagged it? And if it really fuels our system for beneficial output, how can we be assured of its presence?

    Ability to shut our mind from the chaos of outer world defines inner peace. If we are able to stay quiet even for few minutes, without worrying, analyzing, contemplating or fussing over whatever happens, we are at inner peace. While it may seem impossible to expect such a state of mind amidst the mountain of responsibilities, duties, targets and tasks, it is not so unless we make a sincere attempt. Like any other task that demands our efforts and time, inner peace needs it too. 

  We need to commit to the act of being peaceful, while connecting with the inner mind in whichever way we can. While outer chaos and challenges can disturb the stability of our system, inner peace prompts us to stay strong. It does not extend to problems alone, inner peace also caters to what and how people think about us. Human mind tends to judge people and situations within the limited capacity of their understanding. What people interpret and conclude over your course will not be useful, beneficial or true, yet absolutely unavoidable. 

    It is impossible to transform their thoughts or prove your point by defending at every possible opportunity. You may have a clarification over their doubts, but will it always reach at the right time, to the right person, in the right manner? Instead of justifying your stand on a stage to people who don’t really have anything at stake, take the opportunity to connect with your inner self. As long as you know the motive of doing some things in a certain way, the rest does not matter. Inner peace is what keeps you going, when everyone else attempts to disturb, bother or simply doubt you in every possible way.

     Thoughts mean nothing unless they are polished with a practical essence. If I continue preaching about the significance of inner peace, without offering some practical ways to do so, it can be discarded as just another advice, too good to be true. Read along as I offer my two cents over the guide to inner peace.

1.       Pick your exercise for inner peace

       Pre-requisites: 

ü  must be a solo act

ü  should involve minimum physical work

ü  should give you space to be lost in your world

ü  should not depend on others to accomplish the task

ü  should be chosen by yourself

ü  the final aim should be inner peace, hence do not pollute it with sense of achievement, laurels, credits, certificates or medals to show it off to others

Suggestions:  meditation, breathing exercises, listening to instrumental music, simply closing your eyes and staying silent

2.       Practice this same activity every day, at the same time and in the same way. Pick a practical duration (10-20 minutes). Stick to the schedule as much as you can. Allow concessions only for major change in circumstances.

3.       Do not evaluate or analyze whether the activity benefits you right away. Give it some time (2-3 months) to connect with your inner chords.

4.       Stay away from distractions. Everything around you can wait, while you are it.

5.       Shut out stray thoughts about family, people, work, surroundings and concentrate on the sole activity of being peaceful

     No matter how busy your schedule looks like or how significant your job/position/role/responsibility appears to be, each one must refill their system with inner peace for the obvious choice to live a fulfilled, happy and satisfied life. 10-20 long minutes of this peaceful activity may seem selfish, but it will indirectly improve your approach with the outer world. Remember the primary aim is not to prove it to others, but to work for yourself, on yourself and by yourself. As long as these fields are filled up, the rest does not matter.

Refill inner peace to keep going, after all how good can the engine be without any fuel to power it up!

         

P.S:  Though it may appear simple, usual and routine task, it is definitely not as easy as it sounds. Make an attempt and share your experiences as together we can do some good for ourselves. 

H: Here it is now; pause the chase and savor the moment, before you jump to the next ‘it’.

   When I first thought of framing this A-Z series, I was sure each letter would start with a noun. As it is meant to reflect a significant aspect of my life, it was obvious that only a noun could do the necessary justice. Hence using an adverb ‘Here’, instead of conventional words ‘Happiness’, ‘Honesty’ or ‘Hope’ for ‘H’ demanded lot of contemplation and reasoning. As I attempted to convince myself about an unusual word, I realized that it meant something worthy enough to go against all odds. Thus, the birth of this off-beat post with a novel start.

   Unless we come across any life changing experience, we refuse to adopt necessary corrections into our system. We may know about its need, benefits, value and glory, yet find it difficult to bring it within. Only when it presents a larger picture, do we realize the need to attend to it. One such close experience and life changes for good. If only we decide to find the hidden message behind circumstances, we can appreciate why it came to us in the first place.

   This brings us to the‘here’, ‘now’ and ‘it’. In the race against time, we always find ourselves in our running shoes. As we ascend one step at a time to the next rung on the ladder, we realize that the goal is still further away. While living our dream and meeting our targets, it is impossible to rest or give up. The good, better and best is always ‘yet to come’, making it essential to focus and concentrate.

    No matter how many deadlines you meet, there are always some more, waiting in the wing. By the time you experience a sense of satisfaction, you may be clouded by plans, ideas and strategies for the next one. This kind of engagement is absolutely essential. Unless we have goals to look forward to, we cannot extract the joy of living. Staying occupied with targets ensures hard work and happiness. It is what drives you to get out of a cozy warm bed on a cold morning. Without any aim or without any plan, we may be nothing but wanderers in a wide forest.

 But, is it essential to run behind things, without halting for a while to appreciate and celebrate?

Why are we so engrossed in planning about the future step, way before we savor the present?

Why does the next milestone seem so amazing, that we forget the joy of reaching the current one?

Why do we tend to think that our settled or retired life will be satisfying, when our present one could also be the same?

And why do we run to reach the next step, when we can stroll and appreciate every step on the way?

  Right from childhood, we are programmed to think about the future. It unknowingly shapes our thought process to imagine that the best is yet to come. There is definitely nothing wrong in harboring dreams for the grand life ahead, but not at the cost of forgetting to live today. When we reflect over the journey so far, we remember the memories and moments, than the struggle that brought us here. Instead of worrying about every future step for the fear of failing, why don’t we concentrate on the present?

   If you are one of those who always valued their present moment over the future and continue to do so, take a bow. Not everyone is programmed to live in the ‘here’ and ‘now’... at least I never was.

 For me, the future always appeared tempting, mysterious, huge and essential, taking away every possible bit of energy. Like a mirage that offers hope of water on a barren dessert, the ‘there’ and ‘then’ appeared more appealing. We tend to run behind that false water, forgetting to appreciate the scenery around. The ‘now’ may not be as you hoped, but it is something that is happening ‘live’. Those precious moments will not return back, if we waste them over analysis and strategies.

  The ‘it’ in title is different for each one. For some it may mean money, position, status, adventure, experiences, happiness or assets. It can be anything for anyone and none of it is right, wrong, correct or incorrect. But, what is incorrect is failing to pause, halt, appreciate and enjoy. Soak in the present moment, only then will your ‘today’ be as colorful as the most awaited next ‘holiday’. 

   No job is the ultimate one, no house is the final one or no lifestyle is the perfect one. We all desire for something more or different from the existing. It is good to stay so in order to progress ahead, but not unless you concentrate on enjoying the present. Your humble home now may not be as large/comfortable/desired as the one you have planned, but it still covers your head. Appreciate what lies ‘here’ and ‘now’, only then ‘there’ will be good too.

   What is the way to do so? Read along as I chart some pointers for my dreamy heart and restless mind. Share your take over the same, while I convince my life to be ‘here’ and ‘now’.

1.       Be present- physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and ‘thought’ lly

2.       Spend every single day as a unique project – accept the good, bad, wanted, unwanted and every single feeling with open mind

3.       Focus and concentrate on the task in hand

4.       Don’t live in your thoughts. Thinking is a task too, hence designate time to ‘think’, rather than running it as a background score, along every other job

5.       Communicate your thoughts

6.       Listening to others is also a task

7.       Respond when asked to, stay away from judgements and analysis

8.       Over thinking is totally unproductive, invest that energy in doing than dreaming

9.       Everything will fall in place, but not the current moment, it demands your attention and focus

10.   No task is small, hence respect everything you do and give your 100%

11.   Some things can wait, hence pause your chase to celebrate, appreciate, love and laugh

12.   You cannot wipe out your past errors, mistakes, misunderstandings or worries, then why regret? Let it go, make sure to avoid a repeat telecast.

13.   Take lessons to be happy. Though the easiest task within our reach, we fail to learn and practice it. Make it a priority to be happy, schedule it in your task-list. Make it your own, before you feel alien, unusual, unbelievable or weird to be happy.

 This is the location and now is the time to do what you always wanted. Future is bright but not unless you switch on the light in the present. Spread smiles, laugh more, radiate happiness and feel the difference, because that is all you can do here and now!