7 actions to go ‘carpe diem’

   I consider myself one of the strongest advocates of the thought ‘personal experiences teach the most’. No matter how much one insists/ forces/urges or commands, it is less likely to create a long-lasting impact than your own encounters and experiences. Though our elders guide us towards more favorable things in life, we tend to ignore the advice unless tried by ourselves. Call it human nature or the desire to experiment and learn, we prefer making an attempt before confirming a well-known theory. 

  Our inquisitiveness and willingness to try it at least once drives us towards less desirable actions too. It is one of the foolproof ways to learn, adopt and follow for the rest of our life. But, why this sudden affection towards our experimental nature? The answer lies in my own little exercise since last couple of years. A project that forced me to stop over-thinking and embrace the present. A self-created assignment that forced me to live in the moment, one day at a time, rather than planning unnecessarily into the future.

   So, what is carpe diem? A Latin phrase that talks about seizing the day over impractical thoughts of the future, it is more about living in the moment. It is about embracing the present fully before worrying/ celebrating/ thinking about something way ahead of the journey. 

  With this thought, I do not mean to demean the incredible task of planning. We all need to plan in advance to make better choices and decisions for the bright future. Living one day at a time may not be feasible always when there are constructive projects demanding broader vision. But, when this so-called planning takes out a larger part of our system, it is a warning for caution. Under the pretext of making a good future, when all one thinks about is tomorrow, what about today? We assume happier and peaceful moments once we are settled, but is there any such thing as ‘settled’? A mirage that only adds hope but never materializes, isn’t it incorrect to postpone everything for that happier tomorrow.

   Living in the moment may not work for every individual. How we look at the thought depends a lot on our choices, priorities and goals. Not everyone can enjoy the present for the fear of destroying their future. It also depends on what you weigh more- universal success or personal happiness? Living in the moment is more for the adventure-loving happier folks, while planning every single thing to the ‘T’ is for those bound by deadlines. Those who fear missing out on the so-called acceptable stages of life may find it uncomfortable to quit thinking and start living. For the over-thinkers who cannot stop worrying about the future, this may seem more of a destructive exercise than a constructive project.

   There is nothing wrong in what you choose because at the end, you are the best judge of your situation. Besides, circumstances influence your outlook, so there is no such thing as correct or incorrect.  As a transformed member from the over-thinker to the present-day lover, I can vouch for the fact that life is beautiful when taken one step at a time. It does not mean quitting some successful plans for the future, but adjusting the ratio. If you thought about the future for 60-80% of your waking moments, make it 10%. Quit the habit of dreaming, when you are actually living the dream at this moment. Consider 365 days of fun-filled moments rather than few reserved ones during vacations and special occasions. Routine is boring, but the ability to hunt some embedded fun is the key. Do not expect larger than life celebration every single day, but make the overall experience much happier than you assumed it to be.

    The only way to do it is by living in the present. Make it a conscious habit and see it turn into a usual action. Though I am stressing over its significance and know the benefits, I am only human to make mistakes and fail quite often. Let me share seven actions of living in the moment borrowed from my instruction manual. You may agree to some of them or reject them completely. You may find it impossible and incorrect to go ‘carpe diem’ or you may be practicing some of them yourself. Do share your feedback because together we learn and together we realize.

1.       Observe

Observe the things around you with open eyes. Though it sounds like the most obvious thing we do, how often do we stop to admire the mountains, look at the sky color, see the trees and follow the birds? Over-practical individuals will argue about lack of time. In that case, observe whatever you do with a conscious effort. Do not take everything for granted and activate your visual senses. Observe minute details of things around you, it is one of the actions to be aware of your present surrounding rather than painting some dreamy pictures of tomorrow.

2.       Hear

Activate your hearing senses to the present. Appreciate natural sounds, music, tunes, talks and voices to be in the moment. When we make efforts to see and hear, we are automatically switched to the present. How often do you watch something on the television but your mind is someplace else- imaging, planning, wondering, or worrying? Or how often do you phase out when someone talks about their experience only to correlate it with your own life? Be committed to the sound of the moment than the background noise of the future.

3.       Feel and express

Pay attention to how you feel at the moment. Happy, sad, angry, guilty, surprised, embarrassed or just excited? Respond to the feeling, accept the actions and express your reactions. When you are open to the present feeling, you will have no time to procrastinate, imagine, or dream. Enjoy the offering of today by being there rather than hoping for some better alternative in the future. Express and communicate your feelings with people around instead of bottling it up for one fine day.  

4.       Accept ‘this is it’

Most of our problems arise from the lack of acceptance. I may be taking the liberty of assuming that you all do the same, but more often than desired we end up being unsatisfied with the present. There is no harm in believing that the future is brighter for it makes us better version of ourselves. It is human nature when we work hard for a good future, but it has to start from right here, right now. Our pretension of working for the future takes away the fun from today, only to invite regret several years down the line.

5.       Appreciate

If we tune our minds to live in the moment, we will find numerous chances to appreciate. Appreciate people, nature, things, experiences and everything in your present. Say thank-you more often. Observe one unique good thing in your surrounding every day. Halt, enjoy, appreciate and move ahead. Why does a mountain miles away from home feel so special but the one in our neighborhood is just usual? If sun is the same everywhere, why is it easy to admire it at special sunset spots around the globe? I do not intend to say traveling is unnecessary. In fact, travel often to enjoy the present, but make sure to appreciate the routine things in your neighborhood too.

6.       Surprise your routine

Routine is boring but routine is necessary. We can rarely change it except during vacations. We cannot change typical hours of a workday. We can neither change the commute nor the work profile. But we can surprise ourselves with little changes when ‘off the clock’. Use your quality ‘me’ time even if it is as short as five minutes to do something different every day. Read a book one day, paint something on the other, listen to music, do different things to increase enthusiasm. Routine makes us better humans but it can also make us boring, sad and predictable. Surprise yourself once in a while, it is worth it.

7.       Keep practicing, each day is a new one

Do not assume my flow of words stand for successful implementation of the idea. It is always, always and once again always, ‘Easier said than done’. These seven actions are not foolproof because I slip on numerous occasions. It is quite tempting to dream about some years in the future, rather than being receptive to the ‘here and now’. But, I will never quit. It is okay to be carried away once in the while so continue making attempts every single day. Any moment you see yourself in worries about tomorrow- warn your mind, make it aware, shout/love/punish/pamper in your style but come back again.

Just start doing it. Value your present more than the past or future. Past is totally useless and an absolute waste of time. Visiting old memories quite often can unknowingly keep you away from making memories now.

  Carpe diem, seize the day, live in the moment, embrace the present- for ‘this’ is all you have before ‘that’ is yours.

Clicked at the Sierra Rizing bakery and cafe, California

5 steps to deal with life’s lemons

   Before I could make sense of metaphors and deep philosophical thoughts, I remember checking my refrigerator for life’s famous lemons. Because if the thought ‘When life gives you lemons’ was true indeed, it would be sitting somewhere in the kitchen. But each time I failed to hunt those free gifts, it was essential to accept it stood for something else. 

   These famous lemons which life seems to distribute generously to everyone, everywhere stand for the vast load of problems. And each one of us can vouch for the fact that life does distribute them freely. Before you can even understand or think, life hand delivers them to your doorstep. And no form of feedback, negotiation or even begging works in this case because life has a strict agenda of just handing them out to every single individual on the planet. Must say, life is pretty generous when it comes to these bitter-sour freebies. For a product you never ordered and for an unnecessary item that lands on your doorstep, you have no other option but to deal with it.

 For those of you who do not know about these lemons, they stand for all the challenges and troubles thrown at us. As lemons are combination of sour, bitter and tangy flavors that make us wink, they are forced to represent this unfavorable metaphor. They symbolize sour tastes that are interesting in slight quantities but totally undesirable when added in excess.

 There are many fancy phrases that suggest ways to deal with them. Either make lemonade or order some tequila and salt. Either be responsible or go wild. Either use them for your benefit or sit and complain for days on end. Whatever way you choose, there is no escape path spelled out in bold letters. Life is determined to deliver problems and challenges along your path, no matter how much you avoid it or how well you hide yourself. It will deliver its free lemons and head to the next house, before you even check the package. 

  So, if there is no way to avoid these freebies, why don’t we accept them with open hands and think of a way out? Rather than hunting for a customer care number to register our complaints, why don’t we find ways to handle them all by ourselves?

  Thanks to this deep thinking, I am curious to devise some steps. Though I would love to stop the inflow of free lemons, I can do nothing about it. Yet, I can definitely ponder about few actions to deal with them. Stay with me as I walk from one step to the other in an attempt to do something about these sour factors available in excess.

 Adding an interesting exercise to the series, this particular listicle is a flowchart to enjoy the undesirable freebies. Why complain when life wants to give us something free of cost? Though we may not like it or want it, we don’t really have any choice, do we?

  This is my idea from step 1 to step 5. Do share your way of handling life’s lemons. Do you throw them yards away from your house or do you welcome them in for your advantage?

Step 1: Bring them to the table- Acceptance is the first step, after all

Agreed, none of us like problems. But is there any way to stop it? Rather than complaining, we can accept it and bring those free lemons to the table. Denial is the most dangerous habit that leads to nothing but disappointment. Accept the fact that you are no different. Accept the fact that we cannot be immune to challenges and finally accept it problems make us a better version of ourselves. They may seem undesirable, but they are the only key to development. If life chooses you as the lucky recipient of lemons (or in this case, the unlucky one), there is nothing wrong about it. Do not curse your stars, planets, moon and everything in the universe because none of them can take it back. Instead accept it and hunt a solution as soon as possible. Cut the melodrama of "Why me?" and get to the phrase "Ok fine, it's me."

Step 2: Hunt for a good recipe- find the solution

  Bring out your cookbooks or in today’s times - browse through your favorite food blogs. Decide what do want to do with those free lemons. Lemonade, lemon cheese cake, lemon pickle, lemon pie, tangy cocktail or mocktail – the options are endless. To translate to into our metaphor, find solutions to your problems. Seek advice, opinions and ideas. Find the way to handle these troubles without unnecessary stress. Think with a cool head and seek solutions to prevent disappointment. Nothing is easy, but neither is it impossible. Every solution will demand efforts, hard work, dedication and pain. What recipe you decide and what you wish to do with it is your way of life. No one can stop you from your path, at the same time no one can take away your problems. Your recipe needs your inputs, just as your challenge needs your contribution.

Step 3- Put on the apron- act on the problem

  You brought the lemons in, you found the recipe, now is the time to work on it. Get to the task and act immediately. Eliminate the challenges as much as you can with whatever resources you have. It is definitely easier said than done. Working on our problem may not be as simple as working on a recipe, but this is our overthinking mind with its usual procrastination. Make the lemonade, bake that difficult pie, try your hands on a delicious lemon pickle. In short - invest efforts, make mistakes, get hurt, fall down, stand, and do it again- a bit improved, the next time. We are not perfect or capable enough to handle our problems in a flawless way. But, we are definitely capable to make efforts for ‘n’ number of times as needed.

Step 4- Savor the preparation – celebrate your efforts

Take some time to unwind. Relax after the big challenge. Savor the dish for all your inputs. You deserve a pat on the back for standing strong and reaching so far. It is said we must not take pride in our own achievements for the possibility of being too much in our heads. But, we must pause for a while and congratulate our strong mind. It deserves a little love, affection and recognition. You may have solved the challenge or failed to do so, but in either case, the ability to handle things is much important.

Step 5- Save the recipe- store the lessons

If you enjoyed the lemon pie- do remember to save the recipe. It will help the next time, when life gives you yet another batch of lemons. Remember the way you dealt with your troubles. Preserve your strength, confidence and ability to handle it well. When a similar situation arises in the future, you must be able to erase it quickly. And if a different circumstance raises its ugly head, you can still borrow your inner trust and faith.

  There is no foolproof way to handle problems. There is no way to predict their arrival. It is impossible to make sense of this uncertainty, but we can only prepare ourselves to deal much better. When life is giving lemons, why not enjoy the opportunity and turn it to our advantage. Why not learn, progress, turn stronger and happier than we are today?

 How do you handle the free package? 

Do you hunt for a recipe or a toll-free complaint number? 

Do you turn it into pies or dump it into trash? 

Do you exhibit excitement for trying a new recipe or throw them away in anger? 

Whatever you do, do share your ideas with others. A little learning, a little sharing, and a little pondering will help “When life gives us lemons!”

16 things I would rather do than go shopping

Disclaimer: For the millions and billions who love shopping, this post may seem disturbing. Read at your own risk. The writer does not wish to offend shopaholics and shop-lovers. Her hatred for what they love is purely based on personal opinion.

  To begin with, the birth-story of this unusual post is quite interesting. As a matter of fact the background idea that led to this article deserves more screen space than the real listicle itself. Because what I will like to do than shop will just be a long list of random actions, but why did I come to this topic at the first place is more exciting. Why the urge to oppose shopping and why the urge to find some funny alternatives? For those who know me well, shopping is the least of my favorite activities. While this may sound too unusual -considering the joy offered by shopping, I am totally unsure why this weird expression in my genome?

   For me shopping was and will always be nothing less than a mandatory activity to ‘buy things’. I must pat my back for openly confessing the novel aspect of my personality. It is not easy to be truthful about such unusual thoughts because we are wired to love shopping. It is a stress buster activity for millions of people around the globe who find pleasure in the variety and quality. And there is nothing wrong if you belong to this expanding group because those are the expected and ‘so-called’ qualities of a ‘normal’ human. And though I have dared to be open about this, I only hope to be loved and accepted like the same way before. Please do not disown me, while I hate your favorite activity.

This attitude places me in a tiny club of minorities who detest shopping. I am not even sure if such a group exists because I am yet to find someone remotely close to my thoughts. And because I do not want to enter into gender-based stereotypical domain, I cannot comment on those who hate or love shopping.

  I am not sure whether I must blame the new-age concept of ‘minimalist living’ or express hatred towards ‘materialistic approach’ for this rather unique behavior. But I am convinced that my hostility towards shopping runs way before any such fancy things entered into the market. That does not mean I do not need to shop, but I am unable to find excitement, happiness or eagerness to do it. Be it shopping for clothes, bags, shoes, home goods or basic food, it turns into a rather heavy responsibility.

  The thought of hunting for items, trying them on and filling bags overwhelms the little dreamer in me who cannot find joy in any of those racks. And though this cost saving aspect of wife should please ‘the man’, he finds it rather scary. Talk about stereotypical nature and expected behavior because it is only natural to be alarmed. You know you hate shopping when you look at it as a punishment. Rather than roaming around in open air, the thought of spending hours in enclosed environment is nothing but punishment after all.

During one such detested experience, while dear husband was busy modelling shoes in his favorite shop for the ‘nth’ time in row, an interesting idea poked into my mind. And before I realized, I was scribbling notes on my phone. Though these scribblings were just broken thoughts at random, they were answers to the question “What I would rather do than shop?” To my surprise, the list grew longer and longer, while my fingers typed them out effortlessly. Those random ideas were just funny actions to engage my mind. But I truly enjoyed the imaginative pleasure that followed.

 Before I enlist them, it is essential to clear my stand. I do not have anything against those who love shopping or find pleasure in all its styles, including window and online. It is an important economic model that is essential at every levels. Also, I have nothing against the brands, shops, retailers, wholesalers and goods. Everything I have is against the better half who drags me into shops! But, I should be thankful to him for planting this interesting blog idea. Though I don’t enjoy shopping, I can continue increasing the length of this list. Every time I drag my feet through a mall or shop, I feel like an ‘Alice in wonderland’. I fail to understand why but walking in shops resembles a guilty feeling of breaking into someone’s backyard. A place I am not supposed to be, yet loiter around for no good reason.

  Coming back on track, while I continue to battle with these ill feelings for the act of shopping, let me share my scribbled list. It is just a funny one intended to amuse my irritated mind.

1.       Count the number of waves on a beach in an hour

2.       Note the changing shades of sky and sea waters from dawn to dusk, while sitting on the beach shore

3.       Hike mountains while counting the number of steps taken

4.       Capture selfie with trees, mountains, sea, sunset, sunrise

5.       Prepare a folder with photographs of diverse cloud patterns and find the appropriate scientific name for each

6.       Spend hours browsing a single shelf of books in library

7.       Sample one book from every non-fictional book shelf

8.       Track the route of flights I see in the sky through a live app

9.       Track the route of a bird till I lose her

10.   Walk around in the neighborhood and count number of trees

11.   Walk bare-feet inside a park lawn

12.   Stare into the sky, appearing to be deep in thoughts, while only thinking about what to eat

13.   Watch mindless comedy shows on phone while sitting on a park bench

14.   Read an entire boring car manual start to end on a beach

15.   Watch TV in the community gym room, while pretending to work out on the treadmill

16.   Read a horror book by the poolside

All of this just proves, I can do anything but shop. Count trees, read manuals, walk or just stare, I can do any of it than wander in malls with ‘n’ number of things that haunt me.

 What is your take on this unusual idea? Do you agree with me (which I highly doubt) or do you believe you can brainstorm my weird thoughts? Whatever be your stand, let the arguments begin…..