Can we agree to disagree?

   Call it maturity or enhanced sense of understanding, I find myself at peace whenever and wherever I end up disagreeing with those around me. The old self-confessed ‘perfectionist’ me would have hated the thought of not being able to weave others into my thoughts. Or that same ‘perfectionist’ I would make every possible effort to prove a point in any and every manner. But now the new ‘choose your battles wisely’ self (more on this in another post) finds it easy to not bother about agreement or disagreement. There is nothing outstanding or exceptional about it, but the ability to disagree with someone without slightest hint of arrogance, superiority or friction is something worth pondering. While I often self-congratulate myself for this new found sense of maturity, I am tempted to think about the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’.

  Can we peacefully agree to obey differences of opinion or does it turn into our agenda to turn every person’s opinion our way come-what-may? 

 Is it really essential to be a people pleaser who is perfect and gets nods in every aspect of life or is it okay to do something different that does not fit into the universal mold of acceptance? 

 Is there something wrong if we agree to disagree or should we influence these differences one way or the other to gain agreements from everyone around us? 

  What is the harm in agreeing to disagree or do we fear rejection from the society if we cannot keep everyone on our page?

   Now while you ponder about these unusual questions that may or may not have entered your chain of thoughts in the past, let me take you through my thought-process. And the best part of this exercise – you can agree to disagree right from the first word moving forward. Though I wouldn’t deny the immense happiness of getting a perfect feedback where all of you would agree with me, I will still manage to shake hands with my new found contentment.  I believe there is lot of power in the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’. There is no harm in expressing your opinions. There is nothing wrong if the world does not understand your side of the story or finds it difficult to not form a completely contrasting judgement of the tale. As long as you are sure of your take with conviction, there is fun in ‘agreeing to disagree’.

 So let me take the liberty of justifying disagreements and wait for your agreement over it.

1.       The value of taking your stand and staying true to what you believe in outweighs the temporary happiness of pleasing people. This temporary happiness will make you feel happy for a really tiny, short while that may not be worth it.

2.       Each one of us is entitled to our opinions. The efforts of transforming someone’s disagreement into agreement will drain away that much needed energy for more productive work.

3.       Where does the process of converting opinions end? Because it is practically impossible to convince everyone is it really needed? As we begin to realize the process is worthless to say the least we are able to make peace with it every step of the way.

4.       Expressing this disagreement in a good form is the real challenge. How we communicate our difference of opinion is the trick. Whether we choose good words and peaceful speech or blurt out anger and end up fighting like hot-headed coals can change the entire experience.

5.       When such conflicting situations tend to bring you down, think about what matters the most to you. If you value self-respect and choose self-love over the need to be a people pleaser, you can make peace with not wanting to agree with others but at the same time expressing your heart and mind in the clearest possible way.

 I completely agree stating these thoughts in black and white is not as easy as it seemed when I started with the post. We all go through wide array of experiences – good, bad, happy, sad. And it is only natural to go through diverse experiences with those around us. It does not matter whether we agree or disagree as long as we know how to value the underlying bond of love and affection. Understanding the concept of ‘agreeing to disagree’ as a statement of literature is one thing, and implementing it in reality is another. We may agree to its benefits but whether we are able to implement it while swallowing our ego/pride/arrogance is the reality that only time will tell.

 In introspect, agreeing or disagreeing may never be the main concern as much as we make it to be. Our in-built nature to seek approval may drive us towards this urge but if are able to trust our beliefs without slightest scope for doubts, we are good to go. But again, this depends on what clicks your thought-process. There is nothing right or wrong about it. With this, I leave you all on an open note- 

What matters – agreeing with yourself or agreeing with everyone, but yourself?