B: Bothering about every single word directed at you is like banging your head against a wall; yet expecting to escape unhurt

Bothering (verb): allowing something to cause impact or influence

    I chose to start with my version of definition because I wanted to stress over the difference between ‘bothering’ and ‘listening’. In no way does this thought relate to not hearing or listening to people. While listening stands for an open approach towards new ideas- it definitely facilities growth, development and improvement. It is also one of the many means of showing respect to those around, as you exhibit interest in their words. Hence this article does not endorse ‘turning a deaf ear’ or ‘shutting off any channels of communication’. 

   Listening is the primary step towards forming relations and hence it is essential by all means. Then what do I mean by ‘bothering’? How can you ‘listen’ to people, yet not ‘bother’ about everything that reaches you? And why is it necessary?

   Answer to these questions leads us to the next article in my ‘A-Z’ series. If ‘A’ is the ace in the game of alphabets, ‘B’ follows suit with its ‘bossy’ attitude. With best and beautiful to its credit, it has to be wonderful. While framing a quote with this letter, ‘bothering’ was the first thing that popped in my mind. As these quotes relate to my story, it came across as a perfect lesson for me. By writing about it, I wanted to teach my own mind a thing or two or rather hear myself out.

  Often when we listen to people, we tend to frame our replies, even before the other person has stopped talking. Replying to the conversation becomes our primary job in order to present our stand as soon as possible. While this stresses over the listening part of a dialogue, the other aspect that needs attention is its impact. Not every word directed towards you is essential, useful, positive or necessary. Just because people offer their opinions or ideas with respect to a particular aspect, it is incorrect to let it impact you always.

  Many a times, these opinions or suggestions may seem inappropriate or unacceptable within your school of thought. That does not mean you can allow it to shake your belief system or disturb your approach in any way. As each one of us have an independent mindset and unique perspective about every single thing, it is impossible to entertain every word that reaches you. At the same time, it is also incorrect to argue, disrespect or blame someone for their individualistic opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there cannot be a right or wrong division about certain aspects. The way you look at something may not be the same for the person next to you, hence it is essential to respect differences too.

    This is when agreeing to disagree comes into the picture. If we accept this idea in life, it will lead to lesser disturbances in our path. While we all rejoice under the shower of praises, one negative comment or remark is enough to disturb our balance. At such times, it is essential to display an openness towards the thought. You may not agree with it, but you should acknowledge the difference. There is no harm in opening your mind to a new idea.

 Accepting or rejecting a thought lies in your hands. But if you allow it to cast an impact, it will do nothing but harm. Bothering or thinking about every word can only distract you from the goal. Unless you judge the situation and decide what is good for yourself, you cannot expect any help from an external source. The choice to accept a suggestion or discard it is at your disposal. Whether a negative remark does something good to your journey or whether it simply takes away your time is for you to decide. Being offended by what someone says is another example of bothering about unnecessary factors.

   If you allow every single word to cause an impact or effect, you may unknowingly open the door to self-harm. Listening to people forms our primary responsibility, but analyzing or allowing it to create an effect over our lives transforms into a decisive factor. Train your mind to adopt an authoritative role and you will feel the difference. Segregate words into useful and unnecessary categories to ensure peace and happiness. Love your mind for all it does and do not involve it into some useless energy-consuming process.

    Having said this, I do not intend to take away the value of suggestions and advice. When people offer their opinions or make comments, it does not equate to uselessness always. Words from our parents, siblings, teachers and friends are only meant for our happiness and joy. You may not agree with them to the ‘T’, but their words definitely glow with affection.

    Understanding the motive behind words can prompt us towards the correct direction. Bother only about thoughts that add value to your journey. Stay away from words that may pull you away from the goal. Distractions are easy, while determination is not.

  I do not expect complete agreement from all my readers over this thought. You may disagree with the difference between ‘bothering’ and ‘listening’ or you may resonate with this thought on some levels. In either ways, do send me your feedback. Till I come back with the next letter in series, happy reading, happy listening, happy talking, but remember no bothering! 

A-Z of what matters

    After blogging about some of the best unique experiences in my journey so far, it is time for another series in line. They say inspiration can come from any source and I can truly vouch for this fact. While enjoying the world with words, I am amazed by different things that inspire me. My writing and blogging has definitely attracted me to different places, making me realize that anything and everything can be useful in its own way.

     So before I begin this new series, I must offer credit to its inspirational source. A little master with an innocent look at life, my nephew has prompted this new idea into my system. His cute recitation of A-Z in a sing song manner (sometimes in a loop mode) has paved way for an interesting concept. Whether this series succeeds in entertaining my readers or passes off as just another attempt at playing with words; I will be delighted for its association with the cutest member in our lives.  

      This brings us to the next series of things that matter to me. By things, I do not mean materials or items. It is about all those factors that matter to me in one way or the other. By picking one alphabet every week, this A-Z series will mirror my thoughts and feelings with an original quote. Call it a diary or a journal, the aim is to touch every single letter and stress over a particular element that is significant. 

    If my confusing description has confused you enough, give this article a chance to clear the air. While I could have simply started a series to write about all my thoughts, inclusion of ‘A-Z’ will ensure systematic approach and total coverage. I shall be able to present my thoughts in a novel way, and also revise letters for the little cutie pie!

   Starting with A, join me as I move from one alphabet to the other, only to do what I enjoy the most- write, talk, write and talk again.

A-     Accept every situation and reality – happiness, peace and pleasure will follow suit

Functioning of our human mind is nothing less than a complex mechanism. Manipulations and adjustments run within its system in an attempt to change the situation. Though we are powerless as compared to the uncertainty of circumstances, we are tempted to turn the tables our way. 

   While it is good to work hard and invest efforts for our own success, doing so in the hope of fighting any particular unavoidable situation only invites disappointment. If you desire success and happiness at the end of a long journey, it is essential to accept whatever comes your way. Only after you accept the reality, you can decide the game plan ahead.

    Disillusion and false hopes will only complicate the process. Accepting the reality in front of you inspires you to move ahead. It motivates you with ideas to do what needs to be done. If you are always stuck between ‘I wish’ and ‘only if’, how can you expect to achieve all that is desired? 

Accepting every situation is like wining one quarter of the battle. Instead of disappointments and tears over the reality, acceptance can urge you to stay on track. Imaginations are endless, hence replacing the bitter truth with sweet illusion is absolutely pointless. Accept the present as that is exactly what is meant to be. You can always control your reactions and actions, but you cannot control the surrounding theme that forms the background.

    Failure is nothing but a byproduct of such uncertain situations. If you are able to accept reality, you can digest failure too. Such acceptance makes you realize that failure is not a permanent statement carved on rock, instead it is one of the many attempts, while dealing with a situation. Hence, accepting the situation can urge you to transform your approach, enhance efforts and make another attempt. Rather than giving up on the pretext of uncertain ground, you can make attempts to move yourself to a better setting. Blaming unfavorable situations and circumstances is often the easiest way out. But, accepting the reality and altering your plans to match it is the hardiest.

           Learn to embrace reality. Accept your situation and make peace, it will take you a long way to eternal happiness.

Relevance to my story: Long chain of philosophical thoughts is not the only aim of this series. Unless I relate it to my experiences, I cannot justify the real reason of framing such a quote. So, here is the golden moment that struck the thought.

“After my first session with the oncologist, as I walked home with loads of indigestible information and doses of uncertainty, I was greeted by the sight of a wonderful rainbow in the sky. Within minutes, as the sight of anxious patient chairs and dreadful doctor rooms were replaced by the clear image of seven beautiful colors, I realized that happy things were waiting at the other end. Only if I accepted the reality without a tear, would I meet those gems in disguise. That acceptance was all I needed to move ahead, with some glitches of course. So, I can only thank that rainbow and the wonderful moment for making me realize the value of acceptance.”

Stay tuned as I move to the next alphabet in series. Do share your views on acceptance and what aspect comes to your mind with the letter 'A'. 

Sip 8: When TV shows leave their impact- a teacher in disguise

   

      If I made such statements during my childhood or teen years; it would have been rejected even before completing it. But today as a responsible adult, I can take the liberty of using words such as television, teacher and impact in the same sentence. Though we all love this infamously famous ‘idiot’ box, there is more to it than just addictive doses of entertainment. For starters, it gives us company and delivers some good shows with meaning and purpose. Just as excess of anything is harmful, the same logic applies to this focal point of the house. Controlled watching of appropriate content can turn an otherwise useless activity into something good.

   But, why such sudden public display of affection towards television? The answer lies in two particular shows that connected with me. Beyond just pieces of entertainment, they have made a major impact in my life. And while thanking my stars for such good shows, I wondered why not pen them into words and express my gratitude in a totally different way? Giving way to the last sip in my mug list, these shows have made me realize that television can be a teacher too. It can leave an impact and be close to you in the least expected way.

  Whether you believe in the power of television and the joy it offers or whether you look at it as just sheer entertainment, there is no harm in recognizing the inspiration hidden deep within. Appreciating things is one of the ways of celebrating life and hence I want to continue the party. Before I lose you to your favorite shows and serials, let me continue my usual job of talking, writing and more talking.

    ‘Chasing life’ and ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ are two such gems that brought me closer to the thought in title. While the latter is an extremely popular show across the globe, the former is not well-known, yet amazing for its relevance with my journey. Though these two shows are not some recent flicks in the world of entertainment, Netflix has renewed its magic over and over again. And since ‘Chasing life’ will be pulled back from the streaming service in few days, the timing of this post could not be more perfect.

'They walk along with you, only to be there if you fall'- F.R.I.E.N.D.S 

   If you are a fan of ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’, I am sure there is no need for any kind of introduction. The name itself is sufficient to bring happy memories and doses of laughter, smile, affection and love. And if you are reading about this show for the first time, a little background information might help. A show that teaches us to accept our weaknesses and work on our strengths, it changed the way we look at these crazy bunch of people called ‘friends’. They are probably the only set of loved ones who can laugh ‘on’ you and ‘with’ you. In lines with this happiness, the entire cast of ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ brought the relationship to life. 

    From their sessions on orange couch to non-stop chatter in the apartment, from Monica’s obsession for systematic control to Rachael’s determination to stay away from ‘Daddy’s funds’, from Phoebe’s humbleness to accept everything with open arms to Chandler’s love for sarcasm, from Joey’s innocence to Ross’s confused maturity; everything about this series was wonderful in its own way.

'Sometimes you chase it, sometimes it chases you, c'est la vie '- Chasing life ....

   There is something in the universe that spells out ‘perfect timing’. It knows what you need at what point of time, empowering you in its own way. All this explains my affection for the next show in line ‘Chasing life’. It made an entry in my entertainment list, right when I was coming in terms with an unexpected, yet memorable chapter of my life.

     A young journalist’s encounter with cancer formed the plot of this show that related with me at every level. Perfect coincidence with my course made it an interesting walk as I went from one experience to the next. Be it strong family support or mystery of the course, be it caring affection of her doctor or the usual beliefs of people around, everything resembled my path. Her strong determination to enjoy the journey with a smile truly inspired me in more ways than one, making me realize that inspiration can come from any source.

    From her anger to tears, smile to carefree attitude, everything seemed to relate with me. Though it touched a sensitive topic of the ‘C’ domain, it did not come across as some serious show with dense cloud of worries. Instead, it highlighted the beauty that one can seek if one desires to. I looked at it as the practical example of ‘every cloud has a silver lining’.

   With this thought, let me list down the lessons learned.

1.       F.R.I.E.N.D.S

-          One should not be embarrassed by failure

-          Laughing at your failed attempts brings you closer to the confidence of working once more, all over again

-          Enjoy the confusion, misunderstanding and chaos, as everything happens for a reason

-          We all come across diverse experiences, instead of fussing over an uncertain path, learn to embrace it with open arms

-          With company of loved ones, it is absolutely possible to laugh at yourself.

-          Do not be serious all your life, life is a journey to be explored and not some assignment to be accomplished

2.       Chasing life

-          It’s all about the perspective. Nothing is right or wrong. All depends on how you look at it

-          There is a way out of everything, nothing is impossible

-          Follow your unique thought process and believe in yourself

-          Background noise is in the background for a reason, look deep within

-          If your experiences cannot teach you, nothing else can

-          If you cannot make peace with your situation, no one can help you in the same

-          You cannot wipe out your mistakes from the past, but you can fix your present to make up for it

-          Family and friends will stay by your side, shower them with love and affection

-          And finally, a doctor can be your good friend too

    With this, I shall conclude my mug list temporarily. As I come across more interesting experiences along the way, I will definitely get back to it again. Think about shows that made some impact in your life too. Books, curriculum, school and college are not the only things that can teach you. Look beyond the usual. Give some chance to entertainment too, it can be your teacher in disguise.

  Expand your horizon and gather some unique experiences because at the end that is what matters. 

Sip 7: When food can take you places- experience of savoring diverse cuisines

How do you get the feel of a city, country or region, without leaving your place or actually traveling several miles to be there?

Or besides language, culture, local folks and landscape, what is the next best thing that defines a region?

  There can be several appropriate answers to these questions, but considering the title in mind, I shall focus on food or cuisine. Cuisine of a country or region forms its permanent identity and certainly plays a significant role. It comes across as one of the key bricks in its foundation. Agricultural produce, raw ingredients, climate, geography, lifestyle, population and environment contribute their individual essence that give way to such a unique outcome. While in the good, old times - specific or special food preparations were limited within the boundaries of a region, the picture is totally different today.

   As the globe shrinks into one unit now, it is possible to enjoy any form of cuisine from any part of the world. With increase in tourism, culinary practices, virtual connectivity and transportation of raw materials, you can lay hands over any type of cuisine with ease. So, how do these cuisines relate to my mug list? Blame it on our experimental taste buds, relocation to a different continent, inquisitiveness and love for food (thanks to a foodie spouse), trying out diverse cuisines has been an interesting activity in our ‘to-do’ list.

    Though the experiences turn out to be wonderful and unique (making us a proud global citizen); it actually helps us aim two targets at once. Firstly, it crosses a cuisine from our desired list and secondly it increases the respect, love and admiration towards our own home food! In no way, is the taste of these cuisines responsible for the latter. They are truly interesting and flavorful in their own way. Yet, the mind and heart never fail to sing a patriotic song as soon as the food is relished, reminding us of our roots! It is, as if a mother mocks her kids for the attraction and affection towards outside restaurant food. Because, at the end, she knows they will return back home to the comfort of home cooked meals.

    But, keeping the spirit of patriotism aside, let me share my experiences of touching diverse cuisines. Uniqueness of its taste and enthusiasm to sample something novel score their way into my mug list. Whether we love the cuisine to get back to it again and again or whether we bid a humble good-bye to never return again, each of the experiences deserve an entry into this article. By savoring diverse cuisines, you can get a sneak-peek of their history and lifestyle. Though I could have framed this topic in my mug list earlier, our recent rendezvous with Greek cuisine seemed to be the perfect opportunity. As it made a proud entry in my food list at the seventh position, I was convinced to share this topic finally. 

  With this, let me take you on a ride to different regions based on my flavorful experiences. While these are highlights from my interviews with food, do share your end of experiences too. Do you embrace global exposure or choose to be loyal to your roots? In either case, the output will serve as fodder for some entertainment. 

Disclaimer: My knowledge about food and cuisines is as limited as a little kid’s IQ on financial matters or corporate business. So, kindly excuse any errors in my interpretation. Also, these experiences are through my lens, hence take it with a pinch of salt, sugar or whatever you like. I do not intend to make fun of any cuisine, region or country; but do feel free to laugh with my words.

1.       Mexican

In love with their crispy tacos, nachos and cheese dips, Mexican cuisine feels close to heart. Not to forget their affection for spices and flavors, as it does remind of Indian cuisine in several ways. After all there is a reason why tortillas are labelled as distant cousins of our ‘rotis’ or excessive involvement of kidney beans remind us of ‘rajma-chawal’. From burrito wraps (read: big frankies) to burrito bowls, tacos to quesadillas, they are flavorful in their own way. I do have a complaint though- Mexican cuisine does not offer anything for my sweet tooth.

2.       Italian

I always believe Italian cuisine has some elegance, mystery, class and value hidden behind its pastas and pizzas. Italian cuisine loves tomatoes and garlic as much as Indian cuisine loves its spices. Flavorful sauces, generous amounts of cheese, tasty herbs and ‘too good to resist pizzas’, what else can you ask for? Well, you could ask for a little more spice, if your taste buds are unsatisfied with their blandness.

3.       Chinese

Indo-Chinese cuisine is simply one of the best styles of food, let's be honest, we love our dear noodles, fried rice and Manchurian. But this fusion is nowhere close to the authentic style. Giant boiled vegetables, noodles and plain rice is all you can expect with this cuisine, perfectly designed for good health and a flat stomach. While I turn to Indo-Chinese for its garlic and ginger flavors during colder times, they seem to be simply lost or maybe well-hidden in authentic dishes.  

4.       Thai

If Italian cuisine is about tomatoes, Thai is about coconuts. Excessive involvement of coconut in almost every dish has been the sole reason I don’t have enough to write about (blame it on my recessive coconut genes.) Thai cuisine deserves special mention for preserving natural flavor of ingredients, without masking it with spices or artificial flavors.

5.       American

Though is no such thing as authentic ‘American’ cuisine, it does have some signature dishes to its credit. After all, I cannot ignore the land that has introduced me to so many cuisines so far. I particularly love American food for its breakfast menu- waffles, bagels, cookies, pancakes and burgers spell out ‘happiness’ in their recipes. They take care of my sweet tooth, which is what matters.

6.       Mediterranean

Though complicated to pronounce and spell, this cuisine is interesting and unique. If you love it, you cannot resist, but if you dislike it, there is no turning back. Well known for falafals and hummus, this meal makes best use of its local resources in a delicious way. It gives new look to our chickpeas and moong lentils. And if you are wondering what are 'falafels'? They are Middle-eastern friends of our very own moong bhajiyas.  

7.       Greek

Best friend of Mediterranean cuisine, Greek food is known for its salads, salty feta cheese, moussaka (layered dish) and sea food. Considering our affection for vegetarian dishes alone, the options boil down to eggplant moussaka and a salad. If you love eggplants (brinjals), you may love Mediterranean and Greek, as they seem to be in love with this infamously famous vegetable to a great extent.

  

             Besides these, there are many other cuisines to be ‘tried and tasted’. French, Vietnamese, Korean and Ethiopian are some contenders in the race. Until, I savor those and get back with a sequel, do share your experiences. Happy eating and traveling, after all food can take you places.  

Sip 6: Color me calm, color me happy – experience of a simple, yet beneficial activity

 

  Yes, you saw it right. It is just a coloring book with pictures. It is that simple activity which every child engages into. It is nothing great to make a headline or star in a blog. Filling colors into a picture is no rocket science or a skillful task. Then why does it feature into my mug list? The answer is simple. Mug list is about experiences that bring out happiness and peace. It is about those unique adventures that make me realize that life is indeed in simple things.

  

    We all crave for overrated happening activities and highly famed amazing adventures. To be honest, I definitely did and still do. There is nothing wrong in experiencing those acts too. But, when you open your mind and heart to usual things around, you come closer to the joy of ‘being simple’. You realize that simple can be glamorous too.

    After some doses of philosophy, coming back to the title in question. Though I have colored numerous pictures in my childhood, getting back to that activity once again as an adult was wonderful to say the least. This coloring trend has gained lot of attention in recent times, where coloring books for adults are selling like hot cakes. It is believed to enhance concentration, focus, feelings and joy. Though this article is not designed to advocate about any form of color therapy, it is framed to share my recent experiences with colors.

How did it start?

  To think about it, this activity does not really need any reason to begin with. After all, what is so difficult about color pencils or pictures that it needs a formal and valid excuse? I could have engaged into it anytime as I wanted. But, only if our mind was so simple and innocent! Unless we justify it with a reason or present it well enough, it may not allow us to go ahead. Hence, it took one informal event in our local library to illuminate such a colorful bulb in my system. Two hours of ‘adult coloring club session’ and I was reintroduced back to the joy of coloring. Though the session was just coloring few pictures and patterns with pencils, it posed as the perfect reason to bring that joy home.

   So much was the happiness of this experience, that a coloring book and pencil kit gained royal entry into our house-hold. And this coloring book has not just helped me with some humble joy, it has made the better-half happy too. After all who doesn’t wish for a silent spouse lost in her colorful thoughts? It is not for nothing that he googled about the connection between calmness and colors or for how long the effects last? But apart from these jokes, coloring does help in lot many ways.

 First-hand experience:

    I am sure there is nothing to explain about the process of coloring. We all know, it is just picking up colors and filling it into pictures. And it is does not need any special skills. You do not need to be an artist to figure out a way (My dear Sister, hope you are reading too, just saying). Being a creative artist may help with color combinations and better effects, otherwise it is simply coloring the blanks.

 Though the process is usual for all, what sets it apart is the underlying feeling. What you experience during the activity can pave way for your customized happiness. There is nothing right or wrong about it or there are no rules to be followed. And lack of time cannot be an excuse as it does not demand any fixed hours of engagement. Few minutes can be good too as the purpose is personal. No one can judge you or give you some certificate for the same. As long as it delivers a sense of happiness, the purpose is achieved.

   While I will love to hear your comments and feedback about it, let me frame my first hand experiences with colors.

Color me calm: It does calm the senses, as it urges them to forget about things around and concentrate on the project. It takes you away from the background noise of the world and sends you someplace, silent and calm.

Focus, concentrate, look, observe: It forces you to focus as smaller areas and thin lines need greater attention. It is able to sharpen your concentration that reflects over other activities too.

‘Me’ time: Coloring is a fun way to experience some quality ‘me’ time. Lost in your thoughts, it allows you to talk to yourself.

Sense of achievement: It definitely delivers a sense of satisfaction and achievement as the final product appeals to the eyes.

Colorful happiness:  We all know about the power of colors. After all they make an entry into our wardrobe too for their unique sense of joy. This coloring does the same as bright colors glow happiness in their own way.

Experimental skills: It touches your organizational and decision making skills to a certain extent. What colors to choose? Whether to pick a color and fill it wherever needed or whether to complete it part by part? Whether to go for conventional sense of colors or whether to try out something new. It does allow you to experiment and rejoice.

Needless to say, this coloring activity has definitely delivered a unique sense of joy. What is your take over this simple, yet beneficial act? Do you believe it can be influential or you rather pass it for some other tasks? In either case, share your thoughts as together we grow, learn, feel, experience!

P.S: Though I said there is no judgement or certificate, we can make an exception. You can go ahead with your shower of praises for ‘my work of art’ in the pictures above. Do not opt for literal sense, ‘literally’.

Dear Husband: You have no choice but to appreciate every single picture generously, whether once, twice or ‘n’ number of times, so you can get back to it. 

Sip 5: because ‘the house’ needs a make-over too - Experience of reorganizing the humble nest

   

    Before I start with this off-beat post, I should give the entire credit of such a unique topic to my parents. The couple that loves to organize and reorganize their house for innumerable times, my parents deserve the title of ‘house make-over experts’. Even my grandparents will agree to this as all through my childhood, I have witnessed their keen observation when they spotted something different, every single time.

    And by make-overs, my parents did not mean spending huge amounts of money for renovation or redecoration of house. Their version of reorganization was something that could easily fit within a small pocket. Cardboard boxes turned into side tables are practical proof of this thought (Only if he had patented this idea before his blogger daughter revealed it all!).

 I shall attempt to define their ideas in my words.

Reorganization (noun.): making easy changes in the house that can bring convenience/ transforming the look of the house for a novel feel

    I am sure I must have inherited these re-organizational genes from them. Though genome-wise, these genes were right in my system, their expression was not until I started taking it seriously. It took frequent session with parents (read: lectures), days of contemplation and hours of discussion (read: one-sided announcements) with the better-half, when finally the re-organizational light lit to a bright glow.  Only then did I realize, it is necessary to make convenient changes in our house to make living simple, easy and happy. 

  

   Unless we take keen interest towards what is necessary or unnecessary for our own house, it shall never fix by itself. We can always continue with the same old style for years on end, dragging same amount of inconvenience to the next subsequent day, until it finally becomes a routine. Or we can audit our needs and make frequent changes that suit us.

    Changes do not mean major activities like breaking walls of the house or replacing old furniture with new one every passing year. It simply means moving things around, playing with the layout, recycling old items, trying out a new style and conducting frequent checks to see if things work. You may have lots of money to do such kind of reorganization or no budget at all. But that does not matter, because cost is not the primary factor here. The underlying idea is to make convenient transformation with existing system.

  And if you are wondering how this topic entered into my mug-list? The answer lies in the sense of happiness achieved after our recent efforts. With an aim to bring convenience and ease, as we started making little changes around, I knew it was something unique. By making it a part of my mug list, I wanted to pat my own back! Because till our make-over experts (read parents) visit us for an audit, we cannot expect any formal certificate.

  Our little changes are indeed too little to make any grand statement. Replacing plastic containers for sugar, tea, oil with smart glass ones or reorganizing containers in kitchen cabinet for a newer look are not some great things to talk about. Similarly, hunting for a shower stand for bathing items or conducting a reality check of what we actually use is not rocket science to say the least. But, these are definitely some necessary tasks for positive changes in the household.  As they offer the joy of looking at something different or satisfaction of trying out convenient options, it makes you realize that reorganization is indeed a fun activity. It is essential to engage in this project quite often to unlock the hidden gems of energy, enthusiasm, happiness and pleasure.

  With this thought, let me share the benefits of reorganization based on my recent experience. It may inspire you to follow suit. Do share your take over it, it may not resonate with my beliefs but it will definitely open a room for discussion.

1.       Reality check: Reorganization helps you to put things into perspective. It forces you to look around, weigh your needs and presents a true picture.

2.       Cleaning of a kind: As you look at the reality, it urges you to get rid of unnecessary items – things that sit around because you feel you need them but have no use whatsoever.

3.       Materialistic detox: Reorganization removes materialistic toxins from the system, as you recycle unused items. It inspires you to match purpose with things. Instead of buying something and then finding a way to use it, it forces the other way round.

4.       Same location, same walls, same floor – but new house! : Let’s face it, you cannot afford to change your house every single time you are bored of the same spot. If you stay in a rented paradise, this thought can still come to life, but if you are house-owners then simply forget about it. Rather than forcing yourself to greet the same house and its components daily, you can change its look with simple rearrangements.

5.       Stage your creativity: Reorganization can pose as a platform for your overflowing creative juices. You can experiment with some DIY ideas for making show pieces, racks, stands or anything than can decorate your house.

6.       Strengthen your homely bond: House transforms into a home only after you sprinkle it with love, care, affection, relations and bonds. But why restrict that affection to the members alone? With reorganization, you can show your love to the fort that holds you safe within its walls. It definitely deserves a simple make-over every now and then.

7.       Selfish happiness: When it comes to making ourselves happy, we need to think about ‘self’. Hence reorganization or some changes to the house can make that possible. Your small efforts may not bring noticeable changes when someone visits you. But they can deliver perfect doses of happiness to all the dwellers who spend maximum time with it.

 Invest time in loving your house because it does a lot that goes unnoticed. Start with simpler reorganizations for humbler fruits of joy. 

Sip 4: Picking up joy, when the water falls - Experience of enjoying two mighty waterfalls

   

    Nature manages to inspire us in unimaginable ways. Though nature and its mighty troop have been attracting me towards its charm since childhood; my recent role as a blogger has definitely fueled it to higher levels. There is some unexplained relationship between natural beauty of Mother Earth and creative arts. Both these domains go hand in hand, giving rise to exceptional output. Nature instills the desire ‘to create’ as flawless art flows as a result of this motivation. Be it painting or writing, singing or playing a musical instrument, nature truly plays an important role. As a catalyst that brings out the best in an individual, nature and its wonders are undoubtedly hidden gems.

  But, why this sudden appreciation of nature, you ask? Because it crafts the next experience to be featured in my mug list or reverse bucket list. It is impossible to spot out specific encounters with nature, as it continues to spread its love and charm along every passing day. Sight of clouds and blue sky from my window or trees all around the neighborhood are wonderful enough to frame some amazing thoughts in my mind. Though describing one or two adventures with a single component of nature will not justify my affection towards it, it will at least initiate the penning process.

    When you look at the wonders of Nature, you realize it is nothing less than pure magic. Magical show on such a grand scale is definitely a symbol of some exceptional work. How does the creator manage unique paintings of white clouds on a sky blue canvas every single day? Or how can water of the sea extend to such a large scale that it is impossible to define its horizon? How do rivers manage to flow with their sweetness, while oceans prefer their salty status? Also if sunrise and sunset are usual acts of nature all around the world, how do they manage to look wonderful, unique, breath-taking and mesmerizing every single day of the year? Before I lose you all to a dense philosophical maze, let me pull you out to the experience in my title. It is also a way to gather my thoughts and focus on the topic or I shall easily wander around for a long time.

    Our recent trip to ‘Niagara Falls’ has given way to this unique experience in my mug list. World famous mighty water falls with breath-taking views, unimaginable flow and amazing adventure is one of the ways to describe this wonder on earth. 

    When you look at such a coordinated show played by nature, you realize that you are just a tiny particle on this earth. All our problems, difficulties, achievements, worries and praises seem too small and insignificant to think about, while this mighty nature is involved and engrossed in its own hard work. While I will come to its description little later, another water falls worth mentioning are the ones at ‘Yosemite National Park’ in California. Though Yosemite falls were visited last year, its memories are fresh and ripe as if it just happened yesterday. And cherry on the cake, I went there with my parents. (Sorry dear husband, parents always seem to take away the cherries!)

    

A famously famous wonder – Niagara Falls

  When one talks about the tourist attractions of North America, ‘Niagara Falls’ definitely deserves a place in the conversation. So much is the glory of this spot that it continues from several years in the past till today. Photographs of Niagara Falls shared by my Dad (where he looks like a ‘hero’, will save this fun-filled description for a separate post!) from the early 80s depict this fact in a way. Though he visited it from the Canadian side, American view of the falls are equally excellent too. 

   During the subsequent description of his first ever US trip (read foreign), only words such as Niagara and New York were picked by the little admirer in me. So, finally when life chose to give this opportunity, experience of the mighty falls was absolutely exciting in every way. Standing under the American falls, touching the flow of water, feeling its cold temperature and soaking in its enormous fun were some of the most wonderful experiences. Boat ride to the falls was another fun adventure as the water seems inviting yet mysterious at the same time. Colorful lights in the evening and bright effect of sun during the day cast their magical spell. No matter for how long you look at the beauty of these falls, it never seems enough.

  To conclude, this experience was totally out-of-the world making it difficult to frame into words. Flow of huge amount of water from a great height above the surface is what sets this waterfalls apart. Horse shoe shape of falls (though more prominent from Canada) is another feature of this great Niagara. And just when I thought its job was only ‘flow, shine and look pretty’, I was amazed to learn about the large hydroelectric power generation (almost 4.9 million kilowatts).

  Though back from the trip and miles away from this wonder, Niagara Falls can easily continue to inspire me for days on end.

Because why should east coast have all the fun- Falls at Yosemite National Park

   Niagara Falls is closer to the eastern coast of US. In that case how can the western state of California stay quiet? As competitive as it tends to get, California too has wonderful waterfalls at the Yosemite National Park. Waterfalls at three different heights is a unique feature of this spot that draws numerous tourists all year around.

 Giant waterfalls, snow-capped mountains and huge park are attracting gems of this place. Our memorable experience with light snowfall added several stars to this fun trip.

Both these mighty waterfalls have made a strong mark in my memories, making their way into my mug-list. Next time you look at nature or get an opportunity to appreciate its beauty closely, stay quiet for a short while and absorb the experience. Clear your mind off any thoughts and let this wonder guide you. You will be amazed by the output. Give it a chance, it will surely take you more places than you had originally chalked in your itinerary. It makes you forget who you are or what you do as it wraps you in its magical hug. Because that it what nature does, surprise you in the most unimaginable ways! 

Sip 3: When you are almost home - Experience of visiting home city’s twin

   

    What can a person do if he/she is home sick, while being thousands of miles away from the humble paradise? While the obvious answer is to get to that home sweet home as soon as possible, there are other quick-fix choices in today’s world. For a generation that relies on hacks and innovative ideas to get their work done, there are many alternative options to achieve what one desires. Hence as an answer to the question, one can visit a nearest city that is exactly twin to one’s own. Though this was not the primary reason to plan our trip to New York, we were glad that the output erased away any traces of home-sickness from our system completely!

  With a desire to visit our home city’s twin, as we set for our mini-vacation to New York, the experience was extremely fantastic and worth enough to make its way into my mug-list. Close to Mumbai in several ways than I had imagined, New York can be rightly termed as its twin-sister. A city that never sleeps, New York is happening, busy, lively and energetic that refuses to halt for any reason. It oozes enthusiasm and energy in every mile of its radius, making it a center of attraction. Diverse cultures, languages, religions, occupations, lifestyle, cuisines combine into this melting pot. It has something for everyone that keeps each one occupied.

     This city refuses to discriminate among its folks. Whether you are rich or poor, salaried employee or businessman, student or retired, simple or fashionable, it will accept you for what you are. The inclination of holding every resident together brought back memories of Mumbai, as it welcomes everyone with open arms. 

    With dreams in eyes and energy in body as people head to this city, there is nothing that can hold one back. The rule of both these cities is very simple- if you are ready to work hard and make a name for yourself, it will set the perfect stage with spotlights and allow you to perform. But if you choose to laze around and just demand goodies, it shall scare you out with its fast pace. As everyone is running around to stay on their schedule, the energetic ambiance is amazing in its own way.

   Non-judgmental approach and open-mindedness are two aspects of New York that made me realize this twin relationship is absolutely true. As long as you are engrossed in your own project and happy with what you do, there is nothing to stop you. No one has the time to wait and analyze or judge and comment, making it a fair open platform for all. You do not need money, assets, power or name to prove your worth. Merit and skills alone shall keep you alive. Though this aspect is true for any city, village or town, there is something in both these cities that spells out ‘opportunities’.

    As we walked on the busy streets of New York as tourists, we could not help but notice the similarities with our own sweet home. Every passing moment, we were tempted to compare it with Mumbai, increasing our affection towards it. Every single individual is busy in their own unique world, yet united under the sky of the city. 

   

   Narrow lanes, crowded streets, parallel car parking, tall skyscrapers, numerous taxis, strong public transport, street food carts, exotic restaurants and many commercial spots were some of the aspects that unite these two cities. Experience of traveling in local train was the perfect ‘aha’ moment that confirmed my correlation between the two. Only after you travel in crowded trains with so many people –divided by purpose but united by the goal to just get there, you realize that it is actually Mumbai-in-disguise!

  People often complain about the hostile nature and unfriendly ambiance of these two places. As everyone is busy in their own sphere, there is no time for small talk, neighborly affection or friendly concerns. Though it is true to certain extent, there is friendliness among people when the need arises. People may appear drowned in their own pool, but they shall definitely swim to rescue if one calls for help. Switching between public and private domain through just one button is something that makes New York and Mumbai folks what they are today.

  With this, let me share those significant moments that gave way to the title of this article:

We knew we had reached Mumbai's twin when:

1.       We heard stories about expensive rent and housing in the city, hence people are forced to reside in suburbs and travel to their offices by public transport.

2.       We saw men and women in perfect formal attire sharing seat with casually dressed students in trains and sub-ways. 

3.       There were options of tasty street food and exotic restaurants both along the same lane. One could spend anything from $1 to $100 for a single lunch, yet find satisfying options depending on choice.

4.       The time-table of trains and buses make the final call about one’s schedule.

5.       We experienced that the setup of city was different on weekends and weekdays. While weekdays were filled with people leading their way to work, weekends were filled with enthusiastic tourists.

6.       We saw the struggle for finding car parking spaces on streets.

7.       We heard excessive honking all around the city.

8.       We realized that street smartness is the only way to survive in this place. Everyone has to make their own way and it is impossible to wait for others.

9.       We saw almost every building had commercial space for shops and restaurants on the ground floor.

10.   We observed several redevelopment projects - converting old buildings into posh towers.

11.   The GPS showed red marks of excessive traffic all around the city.

12.   We saw many old buildings with preserved heritage look in downtown.

13.   We observed several businesses share space in downtown- financial corporations, marketing hubs, tech companies, banking and retailing etc.

14.   We realized that the city is famous for its skyline of tall skyscrapers against backdrop of water like the Queen’s necklace of Mumbai.

15.   We were tempted to say ‘concrete jungle’ quite often.

16.   The crowded streets make you feel safe even late in the evening or almost mid-night.

And finally, when I heard my husband say ‘I belong here’ after almost every half mile in the city.

       Traffic and expensive rent are two things that apply to any big city around the world. There is nothing to complain or compare, but definitely fun in making interesting observations. If Mumbai has taught me something, it has to be ‘to each one its own’. Hence I believe every place is different, unique and amazing in its own way. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ and enjoy every experience with open arms. No wonder I said ‘I belong here’, as I landed at the airport and entered my humble apartment at the end of our trip.

I can undoubtedly say, visiting my Mumbai’s twin gave me almost equal amount of happiness, love, energy and memories. Thus, it was completely justified to be featured in my mug-list. I can now say, when I was in New York, I was almost home…. 

P.S: This thought is purely based on my opinion. I do not intend to hurt sentiments of any city or its dwellers. Frequent usage of Mumbai or New York may disinterest some readers, but I have a solution to it. Call me to your city and I shall come over with my blogger lens to write an entire article about it too! 

Sip 2: Experience of going from ‘Lush black’ to ‘barren land’

   

     When I first thought about making my mug list, I was naturally inclined to include all the exciting and unique experiences that were worth in every way. Needless to say, it meant happy and desirable adventures because that is how we are programmed to think. When we frame a list of memorable experiences so far, we are naturally bound to rely over the happy ones. But what about some experiences that are undesirable, yet unique? What happens to those forced adventures that were not wanted at first, but seem exciting over a course of time?

     All these questions are necessary for today’s sip in line because of its unusual nature. It was a task that seemed impossible but turned out to be an interesting adventure in its own way. It was difficult at first, but liberating at the end. And it seemed out-of-the-world initially, but absolutely normal in due course of time. I must stop my long list of contrasting adjectives, before I lose my readers in the process of this mysterious description.

      Coming to the point, this next sip is about ‘going hairless’ or practically ‘bald’. When forced to part ways and bid good-bye to my lush black field (thanks to a certain health condition), I was anxious about my feelings at first, only to realize that it was totally interesting and fun-filled. If I made a reverse bucket list based on what I wished to do in the first place, this content would never qualify. But after I was forced to deal with it, I feel it was a memorable episode, worth enough to be featured here.

  To state that hair is an essential part of feminine beauty would be an understatement. At times, hair is all we can think and talk about as it offers an opportunity to change looks and appear presentable. Hence, I was definitely no different when it came to this external piece of beauty. Though I never played with my looks or experimented with my hair, they still occupied an essential part of my system. Thus the thought of parting away from them was heavy, difficult, troublesome and overwhelming. Though my hair could never win the title of ‘Best Hair’ if I ever entered into some beauty contest by mistake, they at least deserved the chance to participate in one. But with barren land, I did not stand a chance to even ‘stand’ for it, making me realize that I was about to enter into an unknown territory for some time.

   There is something in this universe that trains you to accept whatever comes your way. I am surprised as I write this, but chopping off my locks and losing hair did not feel difficult at all. All the anxious thoughts were limited to my mind alone, as when we finally approached the hair-dresser, everything seemed normal. Mind is truly capable of playing all kind of games because the output was totally different from what I had imagined. While I was sure about shedding loads of tears and using this opportunity to create some melodrama at home, I was shocked at the reality. As I smiled and joked about losing my asset, I was looking forward to this interesting experience. And when I say it was fun-filled, I truly mean it because I even created a song and dance over the same (highly praised and applauded by the only viewer in audience- no prize for guessing, it had to be dear and poor husband!)

   This entire episode made me realize that if you make peace with your situation, the outcome will definitely leave you spellbound with its stock of surprises. I never imagined I would actually say this, but losing hair came across as a blessing-in-disguise. Nothing can beat the relaxation of removing off my hair piece after a long hot day in the scorching heat. Talk about perfect timing, because the sun has chosen to throw extreme heat in our city for a long time now.

   We are often grounded by the so-called acceptable norms of the society. Though it is impossible to categorize everything in life as clear black and white, we tend to label things and shame the unusual with embarrassment. I also adhered to this thought sometimes as we all have some fixed notions in our mind. Thus needless to say, the thought of playing with my identity seemed absolutely abnormal. But when situations make one helpless and leave no options whatsoever, you realize that everything is possible. Going bald may be one of the most unique experiences for me, because I never imagined about it. It introduced me to my inner strength, making me realize that external factors may fade away, but what shall remain is the spark from deep within.

     Though turning hairless is a small, little episode, it shall always stay strong in my memories. I cannot claim that all this was absolutely easy. If it wasn’t for the support of my family and friends, I would not be able to accept the reality of being bald for a short stint. Experiences like these remind you that people love you for what lies within. What shines over the surface will make you one with the system, but what shines deep within will empower your entire system forever.

    It was supposed to be an undesirable side effect, but today I look at it as a valuable experience. It entered into my life with sorrow, but brought me closer to the happiness and satisfaction of loving myself. It dug deep into my system to make me fearless. I definitely did not sign up for the experience or register myself to this adventure, but forcibly as it made its way into my life, it was amazing. There was something noteworthy and good about this experience, otherwise how could it make an entry into my mug-list?

     

The ‘mug list’

 

   If you are virtually active in today’s world, chances are you must have heard the word ‘bucket list’ more often than expected. Though this word is part of our vocabulary since several years in the past and has nothing to do with the essence of modern times, it did not receive much popularity back then. With increasing influence of social media, higher exposure on internet and easy means of traveling as compared to the yesteryear, ‘bucket list’ is back on track. But bucket list is not about travel alone. For those of you who are still clueless about this bucket list, let me frame my version of definition.

Bucket list (noun): List of unique experiences that one desires to accomplish (at least once) in their lifetime.

    This can include any and every experience that one believes to be interesting – traveling, activities, adventures, daring tasks or simply any desired dream. While bucket list runs in the future tense as it is something you hope to do down the line, many people choose to make a reverse-bucket list. This reverse list includes all the once-in-a-lifetime experiences that one has already accomplished in their journey so far.

   But, what is the relevance of this bucket list in my blog post? Or why this sudden spread of knowledge about bucket and reverse bucket list, when the title says something else? While looking around at nature and drawing inspiration for my next blog post (because that is what bloggers do), I came across the idea of framing my reverse-bucket list. And naming it as ‘mug list’ was just my idea to give it an interesting name. Let me clarify there is no such word in the dictionary, before you grab one with the hope of finding it. While ‘bucket’ is something big you wish to do in the coming years, ‘mug’ is what you have already done before. Hence, I shall present my mug list or reverse bucket list filled with unique experiences that make them truly special.

   My aim shall be to talk about some of the best moments and adventures so far. Each of these experiences that have been accomplished in the past qualify to enter into the list based on their uniqueness and joy. This mug list will be featured as a series, with one experience every week. While I frame my list and take you to the world of my experiences, I will love to know about your list too. Do send your reverse bucket or mug list with some of your memorable adventures to relive its joy again. Though I do not do pasts or futures to make the most of present, my aim is to extract happiness from their memories. I do not intend to live in the past, but I definitely hope to enjoy that smile, once again.

  Before I begin, let me clear the coast with a declaration. Pardon me if some of my larger-than-life experiences may seem little or usual to you. That is the reason why mug list or bucket lists are meant to be customized as per one’s interest. What may seem interesting to me may come across as a usual task for you, hence kindly take it with a pinch of spice!

  Sit back, relax, read and rejoice as we enter into the series of my ‘mug-list’, one sip at a time.

Sip 1:  Experience of watching advance movie screening for review as part of the press

    After writing reviews of 65 low-budget movies and documentaries for close to two years now, I was surprised with my new-found interest towards entertainment. While watching these movies as private videos on the humble screen of my laptop, the experience was nowhere close to a big screen. Hence, when life threw the opportunity to review a commercially successful movie ‘The Hitman's Bodyguard’ inside the theater, I could not contain my excitement.

     Attending advance screening of a movie is no big deal, it is possible to grab this opportunity as a regular viewer too. But, what made this experience unique was my interesting role in the same. Instead of watching it as one of the movie-goers, I was viewing it as a movie critic from press. Seeing my name on the press-list gave me three complete seconds of fame, at least in my head! With reserved press seats and responsibility of writing an honest review, this experience was definitely one of a kind. Besides, mandatory switching off of cell phones coupled with frequent rounds by the security made it absolutely unique.

  While this opportunity was truly enjoyable, taking my husband along and bragging about it for days on end posed as cherry on the cake. A fan of action-comedy, when my husband was able to watch an advance screening as part of the press, he was equally thrilled. While he was excited to watch a much anticipated movie, I was delighted to be able to show-off! After all how can one lose the opportunity to remind a husband about his star-wife? So much was the fun in this self-bragging episode that after the director of movie liked and re-tweeted my review, I announced my decision to move to Hollywood, LA! But apart from the jokes and fun in bragging about this unique opportunity, the experience was truly memorable.

    Though it was just a small opportunity, it truly meant something different. It is during moments like these when you realize that there is so much to life than the usual routine. Though the review was just another piece of my writing, the experience was totally fulfilling.

   It is rightly said that one must measure their life not by years, but by the number of unique experiences. Such moments bring us closer to the real joy of being alive. Bucket or reverse bucket lists are not just about traveling to overrated exotic locations or participating in adventurous activities. You do not need long vacations, heavy budget or enormous fortune to bring your list to life. Those overrated contents are good for creating some buzz on social media. What you really need is a desire to seek happiness in your unique moments.

  Think about your mug-list and let us sip this fun together. Till I return with my next post, keep smiling, keep enjoying, keep sharing and yes, keep reading!

P.S: The movie was really amazing and we enjoyed it thoroughly. You can find my review here (pen name: Lavanya) http://redcarpetcrash.com/movie-review-hitmans-bodyguard/ 

Dear Husband - It may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Do not be hopeful about watching every single movie from the never-ending list you gave me last evening.