B: Bothering about every single word directed at you is like banging your head against a wall; yet expecting to escape unhurt

Bothering (verb): allowing something to cause impact or influence

    I chose to start with my version of definition because I wanted to stress over the difference between ‘bothering’ and ‘listening’. In no way does this thought relate to not hearing or listening to people. While listening stands for an open approach towards new ideas- it definitely facilities growth, development and improvement. It is also one of the many means of showing respect to those around, as you exhibit interest in their words. Hence this article does not endorse ‘turning a deaf ear’ or ‘shutting off any channels of communication’. 

   Listening is the primary step towards forming relations and hence it is essential by all means. Then what do I mean by ‘bothering’? How can you ‘listen’ to people, yet not ‘bother’ about everything that reaches you? And why is it necessary?

   Answer to these questions leads us to the next article in my ‘A-Z’ series. If ‘A’ is the ace in the game of alphabets, ‘B’ follows suit with its ‘bossy’ attitude. With best and beautiful to its credit, it has to be wonderful. While framing a quote with this letter, ‘bothering’ was the first thing that popped in my mind. As these quotes relate to my story, it came across as a perfect lesson for me. By writing about it, I wanted to teach my own mind a thing or two or rather hear myself out.

  Often when we listen to people, we tend to frame our replies, even before the other person has stopped talking. Replying to the conversation becomes our primary job in order to present our stand as soon as possible. While this stresses over the listening part of a dialogue, the other aspect that needs attention is its impact. Not every word directed towards you is essential, useful, positive or necessary. Just because people offer their opinions or ideas with respect to a particular aspect, it is incorrect to let it impact you always.

  Many a times, these opinions or suggestions may seem inappropriate or unacceptable within your school of thought. That does not mean you can allow it to shake your belief system or disturb your approach in any way. As each one of us have an independent mindset and unique perspective about every single thing, it is impossible to entertain every word that reaches you. At the same time, it is also incorrect to argue, disrespect or blame someone for their individualistic opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there cannot be a right or wrong division about certain aspects. The way you look at something may not be the same for the person next to you, hence it is essential to respect differences too.

    This is when agreeing to disagree comes into the picture. If we accept this idea in life, it will lead to lesser disturbances in our path. While we all rejoice under the shower of praises, one negative comment or remark is enough to disturb our balance. At such times, it is essential to display an openness towards the thought. You may not agree with it, but you should acknowledge the difference. There is no harm in opening your mind to a new idea.

 Accepting or rejecting a thought lies in your hands. But if you allow it to cast an impact, it will do nothing but harm. Bothering or thinking about every word can only distract you from the goal. Unless you judge the situation and decide what is good for yourself, you cannot expect any help from an external source. The choice to accept a suggestion or discard it is at your disposal. Whether a negative remark does something good to your journey or whether it simply takes away your time is for you to decide. Being offended by what someone says is another example of bothering about unnecessary factors.

   If you allow every single word to cause an impact or effect, you may unknowingly open the door to self-harm. Listening to people forms our primary responsibility, but analyzing or allowing it to create an effect over our lives transforms into a decisive factor. Train your mind to adopt an authoritative role and you will feel the difference. Segregate words into useful and unnecessary categories to ensure peace and happiness. Love your mind for all it does and do not involve it into some useless energy-consuming process.

    Having said this, I do not intend to take away the value of suggestions and advice. When people offer their opinions or make comments, it does not equate to uselessness always. Words from our parents, siblings, teachers and friends are only meant for our happiness and joy. You may not agree with them to the ‘T’, but their words definitely glow with affection.

    Understanding the motive behind words can prompt us towards the correct direction. Bother only about thoughts that add value to your journey. Stay away from words that may pull you away from the goal. Distractions are easy, while determination is not.

  I do not expect complete agreement from all my readers over this thought. You may disagree with the difference between ‘bothering’ and ‘listening’ or you may resonate with this thought on some levels. In either ways, do send me your feedback. Till I come back with the next letter in series, happy reading, happy listening, happy talking, but remember no bothering!