R: Read, Read, Read, Repeat

  Reading is essential for writing. Hence, no wonder when I stepped into the world of writing, I knew reading will form a significant part of my work.

 My relationship with reading goes way into the past, much before this line of task. As a child, I enjoyed reading books, newspapers, and everything I could lay my hands on. And though reading is important for my work today, I do not like to associate it with that aspect in any way. Because work is work at the end of the day. No matter how much we love our work, it still seems a ‘job’ at the end of it all. So, in order to protect my love for reading, I keep it away from the burden of roles and responsibilities. As long as I enjoy it as my hobby and interest, I look forward to the sense of satisfaction it delivers.

Why this sudden expression of love and affection for a simple task like reading?

Why a post demonstrating my obvious feeling towards reading,you ask? 

  Recent experiences with some amazing books have paved way for this thought. And, when the next letter in series was ‘R’, I realized what better way to show my respects than writing about reading? Before it gets confusing for you to read, let me dive straight into the pool. Writing about the love for reading is like stating an obvious fact “These roses are so pretty” or “The sky is so beautiful and clear”; we all know it, but still find it tempting to say it, just one more time.

  Though I enjoy reading both fiction and non-fiction, a new form of writing has grabbed my attention lately. After reading five volumes of ‘Best American Travel writing’ and few more books (‘Lost on Planet China by J.Maarten Troost’, ‘360 degrees longitude by John Higham’, ‘Better than fiction: true travel tales from great fiction writers’), I am attracted towards this unique, yet happening form of travel writing. Expressing thoughts about a trip, coupled with the real time experiences of a particular place form the essence of this genre. As the writer narrates every single aspect of his/her travel, it seems so engaging along the way. Good travel writers are those who can actually transport you to that spot, taking you right in the middle of their experiences.

  Rather than a glossy picture of a fictional kind, travel writing has to be an honest account of everything that the writer has experienced. Good, bad, happy, awkward, interesting or boring- every aspect of the trip has to be captured in order to keep it real. Many of the travel writing books and articles succeed in describing the place, brick to brick. From the nature to environment, buildings to houses, and people to culture – only an excellent form of travel writing can say it all, leaving nothing to imagination.

  Though travel writing is just a representation of what the person has experienced, it is quite challenging to play with appropriate words and describe it in the same manner. And while the traveler has enjoyed the destination in its purest form, it only irritates the writer hidden within, if he/she cannot do justice to the amazing wonders seen by the naked eye.

  Reading travel books does not substitute your own trip to the destination. In no way do I intend to propose that reading about exotic locations around the world can replace the need to be there in person (Dearest husband- please take note). The joy of travel writing resides in the colorful experiences painted by the writer. Background thoughts about the new place, culture, lifestyle and tourist attractions form an interesting experience, while you read comfortably from your couch.

  A look into the history:

  Travel writing dates back to the early 1800s, when travelers have narrated their experiences, voyaging all around the globe. Most of the travel writing includes memoirs, autobiographies and stories describing the destination. Travel writing was extremely popular during the good, old years when the modes of transportation were limited. Common man had to rely on the travel literature to get a sneak-peek of what lies beyond the border.

  After the advent of print media, there were numerous books and magazines describing the glorious trips of great travelers. The picture is entirely different today. With ease of global connectivity, we can travel often and craft our own stories. Thanks to social media, we do not need to wait for long. Instant pictures, videos and blogs can deliver the experience, straight from the source within matter of few minutes and virtue of a strong network (read: Wi-Fi). But, the reader in me does not find satisfaction in this form. Call me old school or a lost dreamer, I still enjoy the happiness delivered by books. Though you can reach any destination within matter of few clicks, it does not equate to reading a colorful narration by a talented writer.

A fictional touch to non-fiction:

    Travel writing does not limit to 3-D description, presented in a 2-D form.  Be it physical books or online versions, travel stories succeed only when they touch the associated feelings and emotions. Just a dry description of land and roads does not interest me as much as the story hidden within.

   I am guilty of being a demanding reader, but for me a good travel journal goes way beyond a plain guide book. Unless a travel article does not take me to that particular place, forcing me to imagine the surroundings purely on the basis of its words; I cannot see myself enjoying it at all. No wonder I find it difficult to take up that challenge myself. It takes a lot more than just good choice of words. Every single word has to come to life to make the travel article as enjoyable as the real experience itself.

   Besides travel writing, I am also inclined towards short fiction stories. Short notes that leave you spell-bound, I am amazed by the ability of such fiction writers (e.g. The O. Henry Prize stories). Within a short time frame - the talent of developing characters, plot, story and the end is beyond imagination. Stories cannot be successful until they instill that ‘Aha’ moment in the readers. And it is this experience that stays with the reader, even after the last page is turned to close it forever.

   Reading transports me to a different world, longing me to stay a little longer; while admiring the imperfectness of a perfect world created by the writer. No matter what genre you enjoy or pick or prefer, find happiness in reading. It has the power to enlighten good thoughts and feelings applicable to the real world. Knowledge gained during reading turns us into a practical person while living, the ultimate goal of our life, right?

   ‘Read, read, read, repeat’ is my mantra to a sane mind in an insane world or the other way round, an insane mind in a sane set-up. Whichever thought you agree to, share some of your favorite books/genres/styles in the feedback. Let us read together to lead together (I know this sentence made no sense, but how could I say no to that rhyming effect?)

Q: ‘Que sera, sera’ - whatever will be, will be

   

The curve in the path only leads to someplace nice

   Often, the most complex of things are the easiest in reality or the things we think a lot about answer themselves within a fraction of a second. This out-of-context statement is actually in for a reason. It represents the background of letter Q and my experience while dealing with an unusual alphabet. So before I begin with the article, let’s back up a bit.

   When I started with the A-Z series, I chose to go with the flow. Instead of deciding a word for each of the 26 alphabets right at the start, I started to address it letter after letter. Even after all this practical sense in me, I was dreading difficult letters Q and X.

    I was sure the simpler ones from the lot such as A, B, N, P, S will be do their job easily with loads of options to pick from. But, it may not be the same for few offbeat ones. Hence, when I finally reached the bridge with letter Q within arm’s distance, I knew it was time to cross it. Much to my surprise, all the expected anticipation evaporated into thin air, when the song ‘Que sera sera’ rang in my ears instantly. No sooner did I find myself pondering about the letter Q, I got the answer in a jiffy.

 

   An extremely old song dated back in the 1950s, this piece was famous among listeners for several years thereafter. I was acquainted to it during our school times. More than the rhythm or melody of its music, it received popularity due to its wonderful lyrics which kept it alive for all these years. It stands for a simple conversation between mother and daughter, while they address the biggest question of ‘attitude’ towards life. It did not ring much of a bell while I was in school, but years later as I look at it now; I realize its significance, paving its way into my series.

   Written by artists Jay Livingston and Ray Evans, the song was remade several times after the original track; including a colorful and fast-paced dance number in our very own colorful Bollywood! (Google it, later) Though the lyrics were twisted and the context was different, it retained the original phrase.

What is the deal with the phrase?

  ‘Que, sera sera’ literally translates to ‘Whatever, will be will be’. A Spanish phrase inspired by Italian origin, it represents the fact that whatever is bound to happen in the future will definitely happen. No matter what we think about the future or how many hours we waste in the process of dreaming, worrying, feeling hopeless or hopeful, the things that are meant to materialize will do so at their own pace. Worrying about the future does not change the bad to good or convert dreams to reality.

A look into the song: 

  When a little girl with dreams in her eyes and cloud of questions in her head asks her mother whether she will be rich or pretty ahead, her mother answers with the phrase “Que, sera sera, whatever will be, will be, the future is not ours to see, Que, sera sera.”

   It then proceeds to the daughter growing up and falling in love. Though the questions change, her anxiety about the future remains the same. When she asks her sweetheart about their future together and whether their love will be greeted with rainbows, she receives the same expression of not worrying about the future. The song comes along a full circle, when at the end this daughter enters into the role of a mother. And while her children are equally inquisitive to know about their looks and wealth in the future, she answers back in the same way.

Cut, copy, paste to real-life:

 A simple conversation, yet meaningful to the last bit. This is true in our context too.

How often do we find ourselves thinking about what lies way ahead?

Career, wealth, assets, health, hobbies, passion, children, grandchildren and everything in between?

  There is nothing harmful in harboring dreams. Nothing wrong in picturing everything you want to be or everything you need in your life. I do believe in ‘thoughts attract reality’ concept written in the book ‘Secret’ by Rhonda Byre, but only to a certain extent (personal review- if you apply it to everything, too impractical to be true). But, on a practical scale for practical happiness, future is way beyond the road. Just thinking about the happy tales of tomorrow will not bring happiness today. No matter how good you think about the future, those are just thoughts at the end. And reality is more about circumstances and situations.

  Efforts give way to results. It is important to invest our hard work to reap the fruits of success. But in any case, it is only after we have worked in the present. Our anxious questions about future will never yield any productive answer because it is still ‘a road in progress’. If you halt your progress to imagine about the fancy path, you are only wasting time in hand.

  Each one of us is anxious. It is only normal and human to tempt ourselves about tomorrow. We want answers to everything, right away. Thanks to modern technology, we seem to be equipped in every way. But, only if that colorful, know-it-all Google could answer this question too “What is the future?” (Not through some funny and weird prediction apps, but real answers.) Till no technology finds a true solution to this complex question- you and I can do nothing about it.

   I do not intend to offend any faith or belief (kindly pardon me, if I sound so), but no form of science/religion/ philosophy/ practice/ astrology/moral sciences/ hand-palm-leg-forehead study will tell, then why are we still hunting? (I am equally guilty- been there, done that). Future is never ours to see, rather it is not meant to be seen from your seat in the present. It is only meant to be experienced, when it reaches to you in the ‘now’.

 ‘Whatever happens, happens for good’ is often treated as the excuse put forth by non-ambitious people. But in reality, it is the thing that happens to each one of us. Being visionary and ambitious is necessary to have a goal in mind, but being flexible with the flow is the real test. Giving up everything because of one unexpected failure is not something to be proud about. You are not praised for the big dreams you hold, but for the practical results you give out. Ambitions are more like unprocessed raw materials in your back office which are not meant to be seen by anyone. After you put them through the machinery of hard work, it gives the perfect fancy final product to be displayed with pride.

  When we learn to deal with the present situation in the best way we can, it reflects our preparedness to life. Acing known questions is not the talent, answering the uncertain ones to the best of our capacity definitely is. Simply put, you cannot avoid failures, but you can only be prepared for it.

   You know it is time to quit thinking when the ‘How’ and ‘Will’ type of questions crowd your system. Because questions without answers are total waste of time. And though each one of us knows it to the ‘T’, it takes someone else to prompt such reminders.

  Like the mother who answers her child or a lover who answers his sweetheart, we will always need someone to tell us ‘Que, sera sera….’

Ascend to the mosaics, beliefs, pictures and colors - for every step is a part of the whole

P: Priorities, perspective, principles, passion – four pillars of a fulfilling life

  

Only a shining light can guide over the path of a fulfilling life 

   

   Pardon me for involving too many P’s, but ever since I started to ponder about this letter, I was surrounded by innumerable possibilities. After all, if P can head the domain of ‘philosophy’, it can dominate anything and everything. I love this letter for giving us ‘parents’ and ‘people’- two essential elements of life. And, how can I possibly forget - for giving us ‘pizza’!

   

    On a personal level, letter ‘P’ formed an instant bond by leading my elder sister's name, marking a spot for permanent affection since childhood. But, expressing the worth of this shining P is not the primary aim of the article.

   When I look at ‘P’, I always think about the aspect of ‘personalized approach’. Each one of us is totally different, while walking over our unique paths to reach the destination. Personalized approach- more or less represents the identity of a person, making him/her unique, yet one in the society. We all have our own desires, when we think of what we want in our lives.

    No two individuals can be alike in their course of life. Living as someone’s puppet or following someone’s advice to the ‘T’ will only transform us into unhappy performances on stage. Everything looks glamorous as long as we dance as per the expectations of those around. But, once the sound of claps recede and the lights go off, the performance has to cease.

    If I make an attempt to extrapolate this aspect in my life journey, I realize it is essential to think about our own course under an independent light. It does not stand for selfishness or loneliness. But instead it encourages an independent form of thinking for our own good. An extremely thin line stands between ‘self-help’ and ‘selfish’, making it necessary to spot the difference and work towards the goal of happiness. At times, you must learn to shut the outside noise in order to trust your own beliefs. So-called notions of ideal life can be traded for the raw taste of hard work and happiness.

  To help me in this thought of ‘self’ over ‘people’ or ‘personal belief’ over ‘popular opinion’ are four pillars – priorities, perspective, principles and passion. If you stop for a while and reflect over their meanings, you will realize that each of these four aspects are individual-based. Priorities, perspective, principles and passions are as personal as your identity, making it impossible to copy from others.

   Every now and then, these aspects may occupy certain common areas. For example, we receive the same stock of principles from our parents and teachers or our perspective may be universally blinded by certain unavoidable influences. But at the end of it all, such common areas are extremely rare or last for a short while.

    Each one of us must learn to place these elements above everything else. Unless, we frame our priorities, choose our perspective, stand by our principles and work towards our passion – we cannot expect the joy of a fulfilling life. If you give away any of these aspects for peer pressure or to be a 'people-pleaser', you will always find yourself drowned in a pool of disappointment. As much as it is essential to help others, it is also essential to help yourself. The greatest form of self-help is to be happy and that can only come from the inner self.

  Words of contemplation are useless unless laced with a frill of practicality. This brings me to the next section of my article -  a practical guide to achieve each of these four P’s.

1.       Priorities

Every person has a different set of these. It changes as per age, but at every step along the ladder, it touches our life in the strongest way. At some point, we all are guilty of standardizing these priorities based on the acceptable norms of society. We all tend to have standard calculation for our timeline, inviting comparison and analysis with others of our age. It is good to motivate ourselves towards next stages of life, but it is incorrect to do so against our desires or under force.

-          Frame your goals

-          Supplement it with a time frame

-          Identify the resources needed for their completion

-          Rank these priorities based on your capability, purpose and output

-          Make realistic short-term goals and plans  

-          Evaluate your performance at timely intervals to gauge your progress

-          As long as you know it is good for your own life, there is no point in justifying it to others. Pleasing everyone is not part of your agenda, but fulfilling your dream definitely is.

2.       Perspective

It stands for how you look at the world or how you perceive things. Simply put, it is the lens that guides your vision. I cannot resist but quote the classic example of ‘glass half-empty or half-full’. Our perspective leads us through the maze of uncertainties. We always have the option of looking at failure and crying over it or using it an opportunity to help ourselves. Perspective is unique to our beliefs and experiences. We cannot enforce them over others, neither can we borrow them from people for a guaranteed output.

-          Adopt a practical perspective

-          If the experience is good, draw happiness, celebrate and move on

-          If the experience is undesirable, spot the errors and stay away from those along the next time

-          Train your mind to find something good in every situation

-          Quit the ‘I am hurt’ attitude but accept the ‘I have learned’ mentality

3.       Principles

These are your ‘moral education’ lessons put to test. As kids we have learned them at school. While at home, they reached us in the form of good manners and habits. It is easy to stick to those principles as a carefree child because elders do all the work. One mistake and you are instantly reminded about it, leaving no scope for irreversible damage. But the real challenge lies in following those principles at a later stage of life, when we are on our own as responsible adults.  

-          Stand by your words

-          Practice what you preach

-          There is no room for biasness or partiality when it comes to principles

             Have the courage to follow them

-          Do not violate your principles as per the audience

-        

4.       Passion

It is all about your interest, ambition, dream and desire. No one can help you in your hunt for passion. Family, friends and folks may be able to assist with their guidance, experiences and advice, but they cannot possibly gift us a passion. Passion cannot be transferred from one generation to another as a family heirloom. Neither can it be imitated from someone else. It may not be possible to succeed in your passion right from day 1. You can always work on it as a side activity, before making it your full-time job.

-          Passion is linked to joy, hence find your calling

-          Once the passion is identified, study about its practicality

-          Make efforts to go closer to it day by day

-          Be ready to take a risk – passion is never easy

-          Gain skills to convert your passion to reality

-          Look at ways to improve, upgrade and bring some changes to grow with time

        Place these P’s at the center of your course and see the difference. It is impossible to prove yourself to every person around because we all use different yardsticks for measurement. Talking about someone and doubting their passion is always easy because we tend to ace at pointing fingers. But standing firm over our priorities, perspective, principles and passion is the real task at hand.

 

P.S: This starts with a ‘P’ too! Anyways, there is no prize for counting the number of P’s in this article, even if you are as tempted as I am to do so right away! 

O: Outside – where ideas ignite and actions activate

Outside the cave shines the light so bright! 

   Call it change of place or break from monotony, we all enjoy the ‘outdoors’ or ‘outside’ for several reasons. When the congested air of the indoors start to choke with no outlet whatsoever, we seek relief outside. This desire to be out in the open does not limit to a location or place, it also pertains to actions outside the comfort zone. Doing things beyond the usual and seeking thrill out of the way are some of the means to realize that life is not lived out of a rule book.

 This brings my series to the next letter ‘O’. Though the word ‘opportunities’ poked into my thinking process several times, I was not convinced to go with the usual. As I wandered out of the comfortable and expected path of thoughts, I looked forward to try something novel. If unpredictability and novelty are available in the open, why choose the conventional and expected?

  As I look outside the box for something different, I allow the idea of experimentation. This article is not designed to ponder over known aspects. True to its title, it is designed to move outside and bring some new ideas.

    Be it a new city or country out of our hometown or out-of-the-box thinking; be it outside the comfort zone or outside the herd mentality; this ‘outside’ in quotes can influence lot of ideas and convert them into actions. Stagnation inside a comfortable pool will never lead to any output. Going out of the usual will draw some benefits. Failure or success- everything happens outside the boundaries of our so-called thinking.

    It is not for nothing that our parents stressed over the need to play outdoors as little kids.

  Outside is not just a place, it represents a zone filled with the ability to take risks. It stands for unrestricted thinking and unlimited actions. All we want in life is always outside the door. If we are comfortably sitting in our couch with the hope of conquering it all, we are only pampering that little ego to the maximum possible extent. Ideas, plans, actions and results always await at the other end, waiting for our inputs. No wonder outcome and output harbor an ‘out’ in them.

 Though we all love the warmth of our comfortable dwelling and believe in the sweetness of our ‘sweet home’, it does not equate to productive ideas and actions. It is only after we fly away from the nest, can we come closer to the realities of life and learn something in the process. Adaption to outside environment introduces us to challenges and realities. It shows how prepared or unprepared we are towards the actual happenings around.

  Each one of us is a star singer in our own bathroom, it is only after we bring those skills outside the door, when we realize the thin line (or rather a thick one!) between talent and interest.

  Walking outside to come across new ideas and gather energy for actions is not a choice, it is more of a necessity. Outside the ‘mind-made’ limits lie the possibilities of action. Everything appears overwhelming and scary from the comfortable window pane of your house. It is only after you venture out in the open, when you realize things only get better. It may not turn out the way you imagined it to be, but it will teach you something for the course ahead.

 When life seems monotonous over a plain road- go outside

When ideas seem to have disappeared with nothing interesting to look forward to – go outside

When laziness and comforts of a comfortable routine fill your system- go outside

When bonds of satisfaction chain your happy heart- go outside

   Go outside only to return back inspired. Staying outdoor is not a solution to run away from the hurdles of life. But hiding inside to avoid failures, hardships and challenges is not an option either. 

  

     Traveling to different places instills inspiration. As it introduces our eyes to newer realities and actual happenings, it pours enthusiasm. Going outside does not translate to elaborate vacations or huge travel plans. Walking to the corner of the street is also as ‘outside’ as it can get. A simple walk in the neighborhood can do more wonders than you think. Comfortable set up is often more dangerous than an unknown location. 

True, comforts bring safety and security, but unless we learn to bid 'good-bye' at the right time, we will always find ourselves swimming in some unproductive pool.

  Staying at the same place does not generate ideas. Think of it as a stagnant pond that prefers breeding of harmful water hyacinth over beautiful lotuses. It does not mean we can change our work place often or roam outside at every possible opportunity. It only hints towards the need to seek inspiration from the outdoors.

   If inside is filled with worries and doubts; outside is flooded with opportunities and possibilities.  

  If inside voice pulls you down with negativity; outside chaos will push you into a positive maze.

  If inside is calm and peaceful but uneventful and boring; outside is risky, happening, yet adventurous.

  And if inside is boring healthy breakfast at 8.00 am; outside is spicy snacks at 7 pm (Why did I even write that? Hungry stomach definitely travels faster than thinking mind and typing fingers!)  

  Writers’ retreat, corporate off-site meetings, picnics, conferences, family get-together all represent the value of being outside. Once in a while, each one of us must visit this sacred place ‘outside’ to refill ideas and perform actions.

P.S: If you use this article to convince your folks for an outdoor trip, do so at your own responsibility. This blog does not endorse fancy vacation plans and will not entertain any requests for compensation of a fat bill you make, while roaming ‘outside’!  

N: Never regret- Never repent- Never overthink

  

My piece of cappuccino art! Though I am tempted to label it 'heart', I leave the judgment to your imagination :) 

  When I started with the ‘A-Z’ series as a means to reflect over significant aspects of my life, I was sure to touch positive words- every letter, every week. After all, positive approach shapes the entire thought process, hence there was nothing to explain or justify. 

     Therefore, convincing my mind to start with a negative word ‘never’ was bit of a challenge. After innumerable arguments (in my head); reality was finally picked over popular and acceptable notion.

   While acceptable notion is to favor positive words over negative ones or choose ‘what to do’ over ‘what not to do’, it was difficult to weigh the importance of ‘never’. But at times, it is necessary to focus over the need to stop doing something, when that ‘something’ transforms into a usual occurrence. When we convince our mind to stay away, it learns the real essence of its harm.

After clearing the cloud of doubt and pouring rain of reality, here I am typing about ‘never’. 

   'Never regret, repent or overthink’ is my motto to quit inhibitions, give up fear and do what the mind wants to. It does not promote mindless actions or stupid daring challenges. It does not endorse dare-devil acts to land up in a soup and blame the bold mind. But, it stands for quitting unnecessary doubts, worries and fears, arising from the useless faculty of a scared mind.

  Regretting over past actions or repenting over what we did is totally non-productive by all means. While it is impossible to clear any bit of what happened, what is the point in revisiting the past to burn your present? ‘No regret policy’ also applies to our over-thinking mind who does not believe in seizing the moment.

     Instead of grabbing the first available opportunity to attempt something novel, I always end up entertaining my over-cautious mind. Though this caution arises from the need to protect me, it can get in the way of trying something different. At times - a perfect balance between confidence, caution and adventure is all you need to be someplace else. Away from a comfort zone of what is good, bad, accepted or allowed, it is necessary to get away from so-called permissible limits.

  Such times demand an attitude of ‘going with the flow’. You may be determined to attempt a novel activity, but your over-protective mind will definitely stop you from doing so. That is when, the adventurous cards should be put into action. It is not necessary to act your age or do your usual things, every single time. If the situation calls for a fun dance or a stupid action, why not embrace the joy and go for it?

      Listening to your cautious matured mind is like giving up childhood fun for the fear of getting hurt or falling down. We all know that one will fall down at least twice or thrice while riding the bicycle or get hurt while chasing the opponent in the determination to win. Yet these things pose as the best lessons to find our way out from the challenges ahead. Not every fall is designed to hurt you and not every novel action is meant to embarrass you. Unless you learn to enjoy the flow and try something new, you cannot extract the fun of being human.

  This attitude has prompted me to say ‘yes’ to a dreaded roller coaster ride or hike five miles to catch a perfect view. It has forced me to embrace the joy of going out of my way to do what I never expected. It has prompted me to sing whatever I want or dance whenever I feel like.

    But does the fun end with it? Ideally it should. Generally, we do enjoy this madness in spur of the moment and say/do/experience what we feel like, only to sit and think about the flow, the next day. After the setting changes, our ‘so-called’ matured mind drives us into a guilt ride under the pretext of knocking some sense. But, this act of overthinking or repenting is totally wrong by all means. If we decide to go with the flow and embrace every single moment, it is incorrect to sit with a rule-book and judge the past. Because it is impossible to re-create the same situation, it is also impossible to replicate the same logic. What appeared as bright and beautiful route in the daylight is bound to look dark and scary in the night.

 As long as you savor the moment without harming or hurting someone, you are good to go. And even if your stupid dance embarrasses someone, it is not up to you to please others. At times, this madness will keep you sane in the weird maze of the world.  

  I have never understood the meaning of regret/repent. What is the point of feeling sorry for what you did yesterday, when you had all of that ‘yesterday’ to not do it? It does not mean that I am immune to stupid mistakes or innocent errors. Each one of us may do something wrong in the moment, but there is no logic in crying over it the next day. Instead of regretting about your past, you can accept, learn and amend your ways ahead. What is the practical output of saying “I wish I had booked this trip earlier!” or “I wish I had booked the concert tickets” when it is over by the time you talk about it?

  Only when ‘I wish’ converts to ‘I did it’, it makes sense. No point in regretting or repenting, when you had all the time in the world to fulfill it. Regret is an absolute waste of your precious present. No matter how sad you feel for not dancing at the party yesterday, it will not be conducted again today. Sure, there are many more opportunities ahead and agreed that life does not end with one missed chance, but postponing is as bad as quitting. Much before one realizes, we end up chasing a mirage to catch something that does not exist. Leave your inhibitions today and try something different. It will be embarrassing/stupid/insane, but it will be fun.

    Either you fail at the attempt or emerge successful, either you have fun in the trip or find it boring or either the experience is memorable or horrible, you can only take it as a lesson. No use of regretting about your choices because at the end it was you who made them. 

    Often we look at kids today and say ‘I wish we had the same facilities’ or ‘I wish I had the resources’, but the truth is you did have ‘equivalent’ or ‘analogous’ to what they have today. Everything belongs to a certain time frame and hence the logic is to be in the flow, rather than comment on the stream from outside.

 Regret turns harmful when we make it a habit. As we learn to manipulate and convince our mind, we end up ‘not doing something’, only to coat it with layers of regret. Once we present this fear under the disguise of regret, we are able to find our way out.

  This demands the need of stressing over ‘never’. As regret and repent are out of my books, I do not allow my mind to say ‘I wish’. While it is absolutely human to fail, it is also human to ‘just do it’!

So, do...

Learn a new language

Dance like no one is watching

Sing your heart out

Smile at a stranger 

Talk to your people, whenever and wherever you want

Book a trip

Eat that cake

Go out of your ‘expected’ behavior to be different

Take chances

Feel sad

Accept your mistake

Ignore the noise

Forgive and forget

Express your sorrow

Laugh at your mistakes

Say ‘I messed up!’

Drink your ego

Take a risk

Gulp down that jealousy

Seize opportunities

And ‘never regret’

While you do all of it, do share your feedback over how stupid this sounds or how matured it turns out to be.

P.S: Dear Sister and Husband – I must credit both of you for this thought. The number of times you have expressed the desire to do something has only made me realize that ‘doing’ is not the same as ‘thinking.' Quit that cute-faced regret, it does not work, always!  

M: Materialistic or non-materialistic: pick sides or blend them both?

   

    In order to choose one option from the title, all we have to do is look into their classic definitions. While ‘materialistic’ stands for inclination towards materials, objects, physical possessions and belief that physical attributes rule the world; non-materialistic stands for the opposite. Believing in spiritual, motivational and material-free world, non-materialistic do not consider materials as the core of life. If we were to rely over these meanings - we will pick ‘non-materialistic’ category, speak two sentences about the value of people, mind, feelings and relations over things and move to the next topic.

But, is it that simple?

Can we say we are non-materialistic and cut ties with the objects that actually mean something to us?

Is the line dividing these categories so bold and bright that we can cross over to one side and stay there forever?

Or is the distinction quite hazy and unclear, hence we can only blend the two and stay somewhere in between?

And finally, can we mix proper proportions of the two and create a suitable cocktail that suits our lifestyle?

   Materialistic thinking weighs objects and possessions above anything and everything in life. Hence, aspects such as brand, value, cost, appeal, use, status, need, comparison make a huge difference. Though these may sound too hollow to be significant, we do need them along the way. While it is inappropriate to be blinded by these factors, it is also incorrect to leave it all and turn into saints.

   This makes it quite clear that picking sides may not be the correct way, but blending them as per situation is the right key. Mixing them in appropriate proportions depending on age, interest, need, happiness and fun may be the ideal thing to do. And like all the other factors in life, balance is what makes it worthwhile. There is no harm in holding some affection towards your possessions, but there is harm in being obsessed with it.

  Accumulating more than you need, allowing materials to rule your thoughts, being unsatisfied with whatever you own and longing for more always are just some of the factors that turn ‘materialistic approach’ into a villain. 

  It is true earning possessions and assets drive us to work. It prompts us to make efforts, work hard and stay determined in our approach. But, earning for materials alone is incorrect. The motive to own things for status and position or show it off to those around is probably the worst form of self-harm, driving us to barter our peace of mind in the process.

  Materialistic approach does not include bare essentials, necessary for our everyday life. It also does not involve spending money over assets that put a roof over our head or drive us around the town. Though open forests and natural resources in their raw form sound fun and adventurous, we still have to stick to our routine materials as humans! But, it definitely stands for the unnecessary craze of pilling up items. Things that enter into our mind, much before they enter into their roles. Things that scream brand, status, position, much before they talk to our purpose and wallet. And things that flaunt our wealth, only to increase feelings of jealousy, ego, self-esteem and hatred.

    It is easy to fall into the trap or even tempting to stay a bit longer. As young, energetic versions with thrill and fun for life, there is nothing wrong in buying gifts for ourselves or dreaming about the next cool ‘gadget’ in the market. It is only when this thrill turns into obsession or addiction, when things start to go beyond our control.

  ‘Own things, rather than let them own you’ is the motto I grew up with as a little child. And though I can proudly flaunt these lines today, it was not the same back then. As an immature kid, it was difficult to understand, why demanding things was a bad habit or hoping for elaborate gifts was an incorrect practice? It is only after you think about it as adults, when you realize that seeds sown during childhood reap into lush plants at a later stage. And while I continue to walk over this path even today, association with a like-minded life-partner simply adds to the charm.

   Though I am not the ideal person to preach about ‘non-materialistic’ approach (thanks to the ‘n’ number of clothes in my closet), I do make efforts to tone down materials, whenever and wherever I can. Hence, while I cannot list down ideal practices to be followed, I can offer a sneak-peek into my diary of thoughts. As pointers to my mind, these reminders come handy, when the materialistic restlessness chooses to create some havoc. If these thoughts resonate with your diary too, do send your thumbs-up. On the other hand, if they mean nothing at all - feel free to say so.

Dear Me,

1.       You cannot impress people on the basis of what you own. It is totally alright to be poor, miser, boring or out-of-fashion, if that is what it takes to defend your empty house and clutter-free life.

2.       Do not buy things to be an acceptable part of the society. No materials, items, brands, or trends can make you a perfect ‘fit’ into the puzzle of mankind.

3.       Getting intimidated by possessions of others is like a one-way ticket to misery. You can never come out of it and only add to unnecessary chaos in your routine.

4.       Your material-loving-friend is not wrong in his/her approach. Priorities and choices are separate. Instead of finding joy in judgments, find joy in your choices.

5.       Use materials as accessories to compliment your appearance; and not as ‘make-up’ to hide your real self.

6.       Always spend on experiences, hobbies, activities and adventures and less over gadgets, labels, clothes and furniture.

7.       You can wear that same jacket and repeat those same set of clothes to ten tourist places. But, you cannot possibly go to ten places, if you end up spending everything on different branded jackets and unique clothes for every single trip!

8.       Adventures and activities need interest, excitement, thrill and spirit, way before they need appropriate gear, shoes, kit and fancy accessories to show off.

9.       You are what you do and how you behave; no one remembers what clothes you wear or what phone you own; but they do remember how you smile, weep, enjoy and radiate the joy of life.

Combine these two opposite qualities by the right amounts and enjoy the output. When too many physical possessions begin to crowd your rooms and mind; it is time to halt, think and evaluate, before you make the rooms bigger!

L: Lean management principles for the project, process and purpose called ‘Life’

   

The next letter ‘L’ in the A-Z series was absolutely easy to begin with. After all, it holds the honor of most important words such as ‘Life’ and ‘Love’. This made it simple in several ways than one. But, if I picked these typical words for the post, it would turn into a ‘cliche’, and then cliche is boring. If as a creative blogger/writer, I didn’t choose an offbeat word, the entire flow of creativity or fun of doing something different would go down the drain. Hence the word in title ‘Lean’. So, what is ‘Lean management’? And why should we incorporate its principles in our life?

   A super word in corporate cultures, lean management speaks about increasing efficiency, minimizing waste, streamlining processes and optimizing utilization of resources. It translates to efficient production sans wastage or effective execution sans confusion. It also equates to frequent evaluation of processes to eliminate bottlenecks and hurdles. All-in-all, a corporate strategy to be the best, with careful and humanly evaluation. 

   Lean management does not mean concentrating on mass production or multiplying profits alone, but it prompts conscious and considerate approach towards the entire process. It is more of a value-driven strategy, which eliminates steps that are absolutely useless or repetitive, offering nothing good in return.

  Pardon me, if I wandered into a totally diverse zone, while getting carried away in the corporate language. My aim is not to frame a lecture for some business management class (though it sounds so ‘cool’!), but to implement these lean principles in something as significant and obvious as ‘Life’. Agreed, life is not some project or process, it is more of our ‘whole’ than a ‘part’, yet no harm in pondering over a bit. If it is possible to extract the meaning of lean management and apply some to our life, it will only be beneficial. And if at the end of this analysis, we do not find it useful, we can always walk away with some piece of learning.

    As the name suggests ‘lean management’ will ensure cutting off waste, while showering value from start to end. If we were to apply these principles to our life, wouldn’t it offer lot of benefits along the way?

If we are successful in identifying useless energy draining practices from our own path, wouldn’t it help to some extent?

And finally, as it stands for continuous evaluation, wouldn’t it make sense to contemplate, reflect and check for ourselves to observe some positive change?

  If this sounds interesting, join me as I make an attempt to apply these principles to life. And if by the end of it - you approve, disapprove, accept or find it ‘good for nothing’, do send your feedback (cannot disclose the goodies for disagreement and ‘special’ goodies for agreement, something to do with bribery and luring the readers!)

On a series note, let’s ponder together. Though there are many versions of lean management and many principles that form its core (depending on the organization, industry or product), I will pick a few well-known ideas.

1.       Continuous improvement

  Life is about improvements and progress. Every single day, we become better versions of ourselves. From the time we learn to use our cute baby faces to attract the attention of our parents to the time we can communicate clearly with matured conversations, we are simply improving along the way.

   Continuous improvement stands for betterment. The moment we enter into stability or stagnation, the fun is all lost. And it does not equate to progress in education, qualification or employment alone. Each one of us, at every stage of life can learn something new, improve our existing skills or simply know about the new things around. Change is the only form of progress. You may disagree with modern times or end up finding more faults and flaws, but remember in the progressive nature of time. It only walks ahead, without returning back.

2.       Waste elimination

 If we take the literal meaning of this principle, we will end up in some biological or environmental studies. But, it does make a lot of sense in our living too. The point of waste elimination is to figure out the useless factors and segregate them from the valuable ones.

Some of the most common form of waste in our lives:

ü  entertaining negative comments,

ü  defending our choices to the world,

ü  justifying our decisions,

ü  getting hurt by anything and everything,

ü  assuming unspoken words,

ü  misunderstanding or digging too deep into what people say,

ü  wasting energy in fighting oppositions

ü  harboring jealousy and temptation to compare ourselves with others

ü  placing ego above everything else

Agreed, there are no magic wands to change us in one single day. It is nowhere close to discarding household trash, every morning or as simple as maintaining dustbins to get rid of waste; but it is not impossible either. Every project takes time, efforts and dedication. If we agree to consciously avoid these practices, we may be able to discard 20% of the waste, to assume the least.

3.       Efficiency and systematic approach

    While these terms sound good in manufacturing and industries, systematic approach in life can be extremely boring. It may convert us into robots and machines, removing the fun of surprises and uncertainties. And hence, there was lot of friction between my mind and brain, as they fought over usefulness of this practice. But to think of it, we can apply systematic approach in many disciplines of life.

   We can introduce sincerity and discipline for our good health and well-being. Things such as traveling, documentation, assets, and legal factors demand our conscious approach. Punctuality is another domain that can equate to efficiency. At times, it is necessary to work smart, instead of toiling hard. With favorable changes in our mannerism, we can go something good. Rather than criticizing or commenting on how people work, we can pay attention to their strategies and adopt the useful bits (though, how mothers multitask to take care of their kids is beyond understanding.)

4.       Optimal utilization of resources

   Well, this is a debatable and controversial topic to enter into! But, I enjoy risks, so let’s begin (dear Mr.Perfect husband, now is a good time to stop reading and exit from the post!) Utilization of every single thing with utmost care, value and in an efficient manner is the gist of this principle. Rather than accumulating resources, we should use them to their fullest capacity. Recycle, reduce and reuse can also come into the picture.

 Think about the purpose before accumulating materials. Do we really need something new to look presentable every single time or should we collect things in the house because others do? Besides materials, we should also focus on resources such as time, efforts and support. We should stay away from taking people for granted or relationships for a ride. Plan things in an efficient manner to avoid unnecessary wastage of any kind.

 Another significant aspect of lean is 'moving in a flow'. Stay in the moment and flow along the journey of life. Deep thinking about the past or worrying about the future will obstruct the fluid like state of present. 

I will sign off by saying, no mountain can be climbed without the first step and no destination can be reached without walking the first mile. I will definitely make an attempt to implement these principles, as life is about enjoying the show sans the drama!

K: ‘Keep’– the center of all actions, the core of all conditions, the lighthouse of inspiration, the navigator of life

    If you look at the literal meaning of ‘keep’, it stands for two things - possession and retention of a specific condition. While my idea is to focus on the latter, ‘keep’ makes a lot of sense by influencing our actions. Whether it is ‘keep smiling’ to stay happy or ‘keep doing’ to achieve something, ‘keep it simple’ to be contented with simplicity or ‘keep going’ to stay on track towards the goal, the word ‘keep’ stands for many significant things in our journey. 

  Though I was tempted to use ‘K for knowledge’ or ‘K for kindness’, I rather voted for ‘keep’, realizing its real-life practical worth. As this A-Z series is designed to reflect on a significant aspect of my life along every single letter, it only justified the need to pick a motivational action over some well-known nouns.

  We often hear ‘keep smiling’, ‘keep going’ and ‘keep doing’ as positive advice to continue over the path. Though the transit may seem difficult; unless we stick to the condition with determination, we cannot expect any output. ‘Keep’ does not stand for stagnation or stability. It does not persuade you to keep doing the same thing for the rest of your life, under the pretext of success or satisfaction. Rather it motivates you to eliminate any thoughts of quitting.

   One can change/transform/alter or improvise the strategy to reach the final goal. But, not at the cost of quitting the plan or abandoning the efforts. Unless, we keep doing, there is no point of expecting results. You cannot travel unless you take the first step, likewise you cannot expect gains without investing a single drop of effort.

   It will be easier if I reflect over each of the above four actions separately, while doing what I enjoy the most- writing, pondering, writing and pondering again.

Keep smiling- it works wonders in the least expected ways!

  More than an act of displaying kindness or affection, smile is the fool-proof ice-breaker in almost any situation. It lays the foundation for fruitful interactions by building better communication. And while this caters to the domain of interpersonal skills, smile also radiates love, positivity, happiness and cheer within ourselves. No matter how complicated the situation appears, smile is more of a reliable buddy.

    It may not dissolve the mountain of errors or challenges. Neither can it pose as a short-cut way to gain instant success, but it does lighten the environment in an amazing way. Because at the end, your broad and bright smile will not help you clear the examinations but it will lighten your heart with faith and hope. At the same time, this smile may not even yield any positive results, but then it won’t harm either. There is no point in displaying anger, hatred or irritation. As if the challenge is not difficult enough, your sad feelings or expression will only further add to the chaos.

 Refrain from bitter thoughts or angry expressions and dive into the pool of smiles. Season it with laughter if you can and sense the difference. If a situation is meant to be difficult, challenging and overwhelming, why not smile a bit and see if it helps? And if it is designed to pull you towards failure, no matter how hard you work, why not smile and accept it all with open arms? If you can’t really transform it into success, the least you can do is keep smiling and live right at the center of it all.

Keep doing – only your efforts can translate into results

   Before I continue, here is a little word of caution. ‘Keep doing’ does not stand for wrongdoings or deliberate mistakes. It does not represent acts of hatred or harm that can hurt someone or create havoc. Keep doing things that bring a positive difference.

  ‘Keep doing’ can work in its motive of inspiring us to continue our efforts. Quitting- if things do not seem to turn our way is definitely the easiest way out, but often the most terrible one. Keep doing things that bring you closer to happiness, while filling your hearts with joy. Keep doing what matters the most to you and enjoy the fruits of satisfaction. It may not necessarily go the way you wanted. But, it will definitely teach you something valuable along the way. No efforts can ever be harmful or completely useless. Something good will always emerge from the act, either pointing out the errors or leading you towards the alternative route.

Keep going- the destination is just a couple of blocks away

  Do not take the literal sense of this word, or else you will walk past the destination! On a mindful yet practical note, keep going inspires one to continue the journey. A close relative of ‘keep doing’, this thought too translates into staying determined and focused. Without any traces of perseverance, it is impossible to reach the destination. And, as it commonly happens in 90% of cases, we end up losing our patience, faith or energy at the very last critical moment.

  All our efforts are lost in the bargain, if we cannot stick to the route till the end. No matter how impossible it may seem, it is essential to keep going. Staying still at a point will only drive us nowhere. Instead of fearing failure and dead ends, why not venture a bit and invest some efforts. It will only enlighten us about wrong turns, rather than procrastinating from a stagnant point. Most of our failure stems from overthinking in the head, hence keep going instead of thinking. It does the opposite of deep analysis.

Keep it simple

  This is probably the most common reminder I send to my mind, time and again. Often the glamour and buzz around us drives us to unnecessary expectations or non-essential activities. It prompts us to spice our journey, for the need to be ‘in’ and ‘happening’. Instead I often find happiness and joy in simplicity. As we are programmed to materials, hypes, trends and shine, we tend to believe in their ability to make us happy. We rely over fancy experiences or trendy items to deliver the joy of living. There is no harm in trying out all kind of experiences to enjoy every single step along the way. But it is incorrect to run behind something that appeals to the herd, and not to our head.

  Peer pressure to fit into society is absolutely wrong on every fronts. Hence, plain Jane may be happier than trendy Julie. Simplicity works on every fronts- from lifestyle to beliefs, relationships to ideas, advice to experiences, keeping it simple is the wisest choice. It is only when we learn to eliminate unnecessary complications, the entire picture brightens up in the process. Erasing clouds of complications and shades of complexities can work wonders. Keep life simple and enjoy what it offers. You will be surprised, but the most common cliche – ‘greatest of joy lies in simplest of things’ does make sense.

  Keep up the good work of living life the way it is meant to be. None of us are certified masters to claim the best way, but surely we are happy, experimental projects in the making! Keep smiling, doing, going and striving towards simplicity, rest all will be taken care.