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| My piece of cappuccino art! Though I am tempted to label it 'heart', I leave the judgment to your imagination :) |
When I started with
the ‘A-Z’ series as a means to reflect over significant aspects of my life, I
was sure to touch positive words- every letter, every week. After all, positive
approach shapes the entire thought process, hence there was nothing to explain
or justify.
Therefore, convincing
my mind to start with a negative word ‘never’ was bit of a challenge. After innumerable
arguments (in my head); reality was finally picked over popular and acceptable notion.
While acceptable
notion is to favor positive words over negative ones or choose ‘what to do’
over ‘what not to do’, it was difficult to weigh the importance of ‘never’. But
at times, it is necessary to focus over the need to stop doing something, when
that ‘something’ transforms into a usual occurrence. When we convince our mind
to stay away, it learns the real essence of its harm.
After clearing the cloud of doubt and pouring rain of
reality, here I am typing about ‘never’.
'Never regret, repent or
overthink’ is my motto to quit inhibitions, give up fear and do what the mind
wants to. It does not promote mindless actions or stupid daring challenges. It
does not endorse dare-devil acts to land up in a soup and blame the bold mind.
But, it stands for quitting unnecessary doubts, worries and fears, arising from
the useless faculty of a scared mind.
Regretting over past
actions or repenting over what we did is totally non-productive by all means.
While it is impossible to clear any bit of what happened, what is the point in
revisiting the past to burn your present? ‘No regret policy’ also applies to
our over-thinking mind who does not believe in seizing the moment.
Instead of
grabbing the first available opportunity to attempt something novel, I always
end up entertaining my over-cautious mind. Though this caution arises from the
need to protect me, it can get in the way of trying something different. At times
- a perfect balance between confidence, caution and adventure is all you need
to be someplace else. Away from a comfort zone of what is good, bad, accepted
or allowed, it is necessary to get away from so-called permissible limits.
Such times demand an
attitude of ‘going with the flow’. You may be determined to attempt a novel activity,
but your over-protective mind will definitely stop you from doing so. That is
when, the adventurous cards should be put into action. It is not necessary to
act your age or do your usual things, every single time. If the situation calls
for a fun dance or a stupid action, why not embrace the joy and go for it?
Listening to your cautious matured mind is
like giving up childhood fun for the fear of getting hurt or falling down. We all
know that one will fall down at least twice or thrice while riding the bicycle or
get hurt while chasing the opponent in the determination to win. Yet these
things pose as the best lessons to find our way out from the challenges ahead.
Not every fall is designed to hurt you and not every novel action is meant to embarrass
you. Unless you learn to enjoy the flow and try something new, you cannot
extract the fun of being human.
This attitude has
prompted me to say ‘yes’ to a dreaded roller coaster ride or hike five miles to
catch a perfect view. It has forced me to embrace the joy of going out of my way
to do what I never expected. It has prompted me to sing whatever I want or
dance whenever I feel like.
But does the fun end with it? Ideally it should.
Generally, we do enjoy this madness in spur of the moment and say/do/experience
what we feel like, only to sit and think about the flow, the next day. After
the setting changes, our ‘so-called’ matured mind drives us into a guilt ride
under the pretext of knocking some sense. But, this act of overthinking or
repenting is totally wrong by all means. If we decide to go with the flow and
embrace every single moment, it is incorrect to sit with a rule-book and judge
the past. Because it is impossible to re-create the same situation, it is also
impossible to replicate the same logic. What appeared as bright and beautiful
route in the daylight is bound to look dark and scary in the night.
As long as you savor
the moment without harming or hurting someone, you are good to go. And even if
your stupid dance embarrasses someone, it is not up to you to please others. At
times, this madness will keep you sane in the weird maze of the world.
I have never understood
the meaning of regret/repent. What is the point of feeling sorry for what
you did yesterday, when you had all of that ‘yesterday’ to not do it? It does
not mean that I am immune to stupid mistakes or innocent errors. Each one of us
may do something wrong in the moment, but there is no logic in crying over it
the next day. Instead of regretting about your past, you can accept, learn and
amend your ways ahead. What is the practical output of saying “I wish I had
booked this trip earlier!” or “I wish I had booked the concert tickets” when it
is over by the time you talk about it?
Only when ‘I wish’
converts to ‘I did it’, it makes sense. No point in regretting or repenting,
when you had all the time in the world to fulfill it. Regret is an absolute
waste of your precious present. No matter how sad you feel for not dancing at
the party yesterday, it will not be conducted again today. Sure, there are many
more opportunities ahead and agreed that life does not end with one missed
chance, but postponing is as bad as quitting. Much before one realizes, we end up chasing a
mirage to catch something that does not exist. Leave your inhibitions today and
try something different. It will be embarrassing/stupid/insane, but it will be
fun.
Either you fail at
the attempt or emerge successful, either you have fun in the trip or find it
boring or either the experience is memorable or horrible, you can only take it
as a lesson. No use of regretting about your choices because at the end it was you
who made them.
Often we look at kids today and say ‘I wish we had the same
facilities’ or ‘I wish I had the resources’, but the truth is you did have ‘equivalent’
or ‘analogous’ to what they have today. Everything belongs to a certain time
frame and hence the logic is to be in the flow, rather than comment on the
stream from outside.
Regret turns harmful
when we make it a habit. As we learn to manipulate and convince our mind, we
end up ‘not doing something’, only to coat it with layers of regret. Once we
present this fear under the disguise of regret, we are able to find our way
out.
This demands the
need of stressing over ‘never’. As regret and repent are out of my books, I do
not allow my mind to say ‘I wish’. While it is absolutely human to fail, it is
also human to ‘just do it’!
So, do...
Learn a new language
Dance like no one is watching
Sing your heart out
Smile at a stranger
Talk to your people, whenever and wherever you want
Book a trip
Eat that cake
Go out of your ‘expected’ behavior to be different
Take chances
Feel sad
Accept your mistake
Ignore the noise
Forgive and forget
Express your sorrow
Laugh at your mistakes
Say ‘I messed up!’
Drink your ego
Take a risk
Gulp down that jealousy
Seize opportunities
And ‘never regret’
While you do all of it, do share your feedback over how stupid this sounds or how matured it turns out to be.
P.S: Dear Sister and Husband – I must credit both of you for
this thought. The number of times you have expressed the desire to do something
has only made me realize that ‘doing’ is not the same as ‘thinking.' Quit that
cute-faced regret, it does not work, always!
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