I will not blame you if you assume this post shall talk
about pot holes on road. Because though the menace of pot holes and pits is a
real life problem on any and every part of the globe, this post intends to
borrow it in a metaphorical sense. In order to enjoy the post, I will request
you to engage your power of imagination. Because there are no real pits or
potholes in our plot, rather some figurative blunders of our behavior. Though
actual pits on road can form an interesting topic in the future, for now let us
concentrate on those annoying downfalls in life. The magical ability to create
and recreate the same set of errors from the past into the present has tempted
me to write a long post and ponder. What tempts me to make the same mistakes
over and over again? Or why do I end up entering into the same danger zone that
I so carefully mark out in bold letters?
I realize I can blame
this tendency to make mistakes as an in-built feature and move on, but then we
just have one life to live. Should we spend it creating blunders that hurt us
or should we remind ourselves to take charge? These mistakes may not involve
other people because we all tend to take utmost care when dealing with those
around us. Never in our wildest dreams, do we think about hurting our people or
creating blunders with their feelings and dealings. But when it comes to our
own little mind whom we take for granted, we end up making every possible kind
of mistake. Quite often, our mind is hurt by our actions and reactions but we
fail to take notice. The inability to respond to its voice turns into a habit,
while we easily assume everything is good. Until one day, the pressure mounts
to a great extent. The point of loving ourselves is often disregarded as a
selfish deed. We fail to place our mind as a priority because there are
multiple factors to take care of. Taking care of our responsibilities and
handling them is not the fault at hand, but assuming we can ignore our own
happiness is the pit in question.
The pit in title
refers to all the ill actions of our doing that are absolutely momentary. Be it
anger, jealously, guilt, temper, irritation, tendency to compare ourselves with
others – such feelings arise in heat of the moment. After the tide passes, we
fail to believe how could we start it all in the first place? It is easy to
blurt out philosophical thoughts under the perfect frame of mind. We can
differentiate the good deeds from the bad, when we sit calmly with a pen in
hand. The trouble is never about not knowing what is hurtful, the trouble is
not knowing how to stand against momentary temptations that hurt. In one ill
moment of fight or argument, it is so easy to bundle up all our sane thoughts
and discard them into some faraway bin; only to find them magically next to us
within minutes or hours after the situation improves. True maturity is not in
knowing how to behave when everything is calm and smooth, but knowing how to
hold our feelings in rough waters. It does not mean suppressing our thoughts or
holding the anger deep within, but releasing it out in a healthy way. It does
not take much time for the situation to improve, but it takes a lot of time for
spoiled relations and bad memories to recover from the effects.
All talks and no
actions will not change the blunder in title. Because my pondering is just like
the sane thoughts I described above. Easy to write when calm, but difficult to
follow when upset. Hence for those upsetting times when I am proudly falling
into the same pit, here are some quick-fix steps to be performed right away.
Hopefully they stop my foot at the most crucial moment! Do provide your version
if you can suggest more ‘tried and tested’ doable alternatives.
Step 1: Identity the problem, accept the fact that is hurts
you and stay quiet. There is no need to explain yourself right away.
Step 2: Take deep breathes till the restlessness is
released.
Step 3: Find three good things in such a situation- it is
similar to counting your blessings because for every bad thing in life, we are
blessed with something spectacularly good.
Step 4: Quit thinking immediately. No matter how tempted you
are to list down everything incorrect in your life from the day you were born,
shut those thoughts right away. It is something in the air that entices us at
the wrong moment, but learn to say no.
Step 5: Ignore the feelings
right now, save the lessons for a later date – ignore your momentary feelings
irrespective of how strongly you care about them. Analyze the situation after
the situation cools down.
Step 6: Laugh at the
possibility of yet another blunder- accepting your tendency of attracting
trouble like a magnet will help to clear your mind and make peace with your
life.
Step 7: Watch something funny
or watch mindless comedy. This is my universal solution for every trouble- when
in a sad state, watch something that makes no sense at all!
Whether these steps will
succeed in the mission to prevent another fall will be decided in the future.
Probably, when the stars align to give yet another tricky situation, I will
find myself digging into the diary for few last-minute tips.
What is your take when you see trouble dancing
right in front of your beautiful eyes? Do you give into the temptation or save
yourself from expected sorrows, hatred and roller coaster of emotions? Share
your ideas to prevent falling into that same old pit, yet again!
Together we can build roads
that last and clear pits that harm. Well, agreed it sounds more like a local
community welfare or governmental body tagline, but I hope you get the message!
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