Hope at the end of the tunnel…

I am surprised as I write this, but I must admit there is something about perfect timing. Caught within the usual schedule, I delayed my December blogpost writing to a later date, only to land on the last day of the year. It does justice to my title as I am keen to reflect, introspect, ponder, and look forward to a new hope.  A hope that every new year is a new opportunity. A hope that we must never stop hoping and wishing for the light that awaits at the end of the tunnel.

As the year comes to an end, it is a good time to realize that we are fortunate to pass through dreaded waters if the course appeared tough. It is amazing to realize that time passes and brings us to new spots, every step of the year. Just as happier times last for a short while, so do those sad ones when we seem to lose it all. But the ability to pass through an uncertain tunnel with hope and belief is what takes us to the other end with an equal certainty towards life. We are human to drop a tear or fill our hearts with fear as soon as darkness overwhelms the road. And we are human to run the thinking mills at an uninterrupted speed. But when we realize that our past days and future imaginary thoughts have nothing to do with the moment in present, we are ready to embrace the reality.

So, if this year hasn’t given you what you wanted or hasn’t been generous enough to fulfil your wishes, rest assured you are on the correct path towards achieving it. Rather than disappointment, fill your moments with hard work. And rather than self-pity or sorrow of some sort, make way for the hope that everything has a perfect time. It may not align with your idea of a perfect day, month or year, but it has its own well-set clock. Waiting with patience is the name of the game. And being positive is the rule to stay within the sport. 

I understand writing all of this in a good contemplative frame of mind makes it easier said than done. We understand the meaning of patience and prayer, but will definitely surround ourselves with doubts the moment we let our minds wander. To go to unimaginable places filled with doubts and fear is the number one idea of our impatient mind. So, do not go there where you are not needed. Be in the present where you can hope with a smile. Be in the now to appreciate the power of your new ideas.

I love the excitement of new beginnings to remind myself that everything comes to an end, only to make way for a fresh start. If you do not want to repeat some self-identified faults in your system, now is the right time to drop them. Do not carry the baggage of your past mistakes, sorrows, tears or hatred. It happened for a reason in the past. You cannot possibly travel back in time to erase those marks. But you can and must ensure no repeat performances. Look forward to the idea of doing something good in the future. Because our hopes and wishes at the right time will do the trick. 

There is joy if you can wait to experience it. There is fulfilment if you can wait for the right time. And finally, there are happy surprises waiting for our unexpected, yet fantastic expressions. It is essential to keep going. More often than not, the bright light at the end of it all brings more joy than we can think. When we put all the inputs with determination, patience, and strong belief from our end, there is nothing but well-deserved outputs at the other end. The 'how' and 'when' may not match with your timetable, but the joy of the 'what' turns out much more amazing.

As we bid good-bye to the old year and welcome a new one, let us hope for more happiness, joy, patience, love, tolerance, and warmth. Here is to the much-needed optimism because at the end, it does look amazing. The unwanted bumps on the road are necessary to appreciate the smoothness of a well-built one! At the end, the chaos, confusion, disappointment, tears, and utter frustration will give way to such bright moments that will only delight you at an unexpected level. 

Cheers to a bright new year. Cheers to a new ray of hope because we will always need it. Cheers to the new dreams, ideas, and achievements that will color your life with ever-lasting joy. 

Thank you 2019, you were super awesome! Cannot thank you enough for all the wonderful moments and the not-so wonderful ones too. After all, they help to highlight the value of the good ones. 

And, here is to the new beginning of 2020. Hope you have a great one now and forever.

P.S: Let me apologize for such a late update. In my last post, when I spoke about surprising yourself once in a while with an unexpected action or task, I was happy to read your feedback. As for me, I switched to an e-book reader. Now, it may seem nothing unusual about it, but for a pro- physical book and an anti-gadget book person like myself, it is surprising while I enjoy swiping to the next page on my tiny new wonder. Among other things, I am surprised by my interest to wear a little make-up ;) and record songs into an app as the bathroom singer moves to the living room!

Surprise yourself, once in a while.!

 We are taught to act in a certain way, behave a certain way, look at things a certain way, and finally to sum it up - live life a certain way. Now, while I am not against any form of discipline or certainty to the game of life, but I find it incorrect to fit into an expected mold. What is the harm in doing something that may not fall under the umbrella of your usual expectations. Or in other words, what is the use of being within a comfort zone? Can we not surprise ourselves and those around us, well once in a while? Is there a protocol about trying something offbeat or doing what the heart says? Are we allowed to act crazy because life is about trying everything or is it safe to just stay within our comfortable and ‘tried and tested’ tasks? While I ponder about it for a while, let’s find out the fun behind stepping out the ‘comfort zone’ when the time is right. 

I think the fear or inhibition of trying something new stems from our common judgmental nature. We tend to have a set of preconceived notions about what will look good and what will not, leading us to stick to the common accepted behavior. We shy away from fun stuff from the fear of embarrassment or failure. But once in a while, it is necessary to let loose. We tie down our minds with a constant narrative of good and bad or acceptable and unacceptable. We force it to think a certain way and reject everything or anything that falls outside the line. As long as we try some new activity for our own happiness, there is no need to start the judgmental mill. More often than not, we tend to limit ourselves. Though people may encourage us to sing a new tune or dance to our heart’s content, it is our little mind who will stop us from the moment ‘Go’. 

After we realize the fun of stepping out of comfort zone, we are driven towards the need of relaxation. It is important to surprise ourselves. It can definitely refill us with a new form of energy and enthusiasm. The benefit of embracing the moment to the fullest reflects on our appreciation towards life. We may be able to achieve more with our new-found look. It does not mean stepping out of our comfort zone makes us successful or brilliant in our routine course, but it does make us happy and receptive to life.

We often tell ourselves that we may not do a certain thing because it seems difficult or impossible to our lifestyle. We may find it difficult to make new friends or act on impromptu plans because they fall outside our limited scope. This is when we limit ourselves to the boredom of life. There is no harm in being a bit impulsive as long as it does not hurt anyone in the process. Try that offbeat nail polish or cook something that you have never tried before. Do something to surprise your mind. Admire the moon or walk with a smile, what is the harm? Be a kid once in a while and revisit your past activities for some fun. When we learn to be receptive towards life, we welcome happiness through that little door. 

Not everything in life needs analysis or interpretation. You can do what you seem fit as long as the thought arises from your heart. When you will reflect on the fun times you had outside your comfort zone, you will definitely experience a sense of poor joy. A form of happiness that cannot be explained in any clear terms. What is life that is predictable in every way? Do not fall into a routine that can be followed with closed eyes. Changing something in the usual course of life is fun too. Though we may love our life in a certain way, it is impossible to drag things, day in and day out. We are easily offended by the weirdness of anything unusual in the system, but what is the harm if we are a bit weird for our own happiness? Let yourself loose when you can. If we take our seriousness and sophistication to heart, we are only keeping ourselves away from the fun called life. Take those weird selfies, capture the moment within the lens of your life, and do something fun today. Life is too short to act a certain way. 

And when we are surprising ourselves, why worry about what people feel? When nothing what we do can be perfect for others, why bother about the crazy things that we end up doing? Do not fall into the safety net of judgements that will only pull you into inaction. Little surprises go a long way in keeping you happy. And when the surprise is directed from you towards you, it can only be amplified in unimaginable ways. 

Here is to the joy of stepping out of the comfort zone. Because when the comfort from the zone fades away, you are left with nothing but a void. Before you let that happen, seize the momentary joy of the moment and go do something crazy. Here is to surprise yourself, once in a while! 

P.S: I know it is easier said than done. So, let me put my money where the mouth is. I will step out of my comfort zone and write back the experience in my next post. Till then, I will wait for your experiences too.!

To reflections and introspections…

 

As luck will have it, I clicked this perfect revelant picture, just a day before penning the post...

I will like to start this post with a question, “Do you know yourself?” Now while it may seem as an extremely obvious question, considering we know ourselves after spending so much time every step of the way, yet can we be totally convinced of its surety? Or let me put it the other way around. Are we sure of what runs in our mind without the need to introspect? Do we take ourselves for granted and assume there is no need for reflecting over some of our own thoughts? Is it necessary to pause from time and time to know what lies within? And finally, do you believe in the power of self-improvement?

Though I am waiting to put forth my thoughts about the significance of self-reflection or introspection to turn into a better version of ourselves, I understand that there cannot be black or white ways of dealing with our ideas. Whether it is important to pause our life for a moment to see if things are turning the way we want it to be or whether it is essential to simply continue the daily drill; the truth is much of the introspection happens in the background without our concrete realization. As humans, we are capable of creating tons of thoughts that may not mean anything if we sit to analyze them. Much of the thought process is similar to some background noise that does nothing productive. 

Our mind has an exceptional time-travelling ability that can take us into past or future thoughts, but when we actually want it to focus on the present with the aim of improvement, it may choose otherwise. The underlying purpose of reflection or introspection is not to sit with an agenda of thinking about everything that goes wrong or congratulating ourselves for any form of achievement. It is to be self-aware that we need to pause and look for an update of some sort.

We tend to take ourselves for granted. We seem to know everything and we seem to be good in everything we do. There is no scope for improvement if we fail to look beyond our pre-conceived notions. Honest review of yourself by yourself can make you realize that some ideas of your behavior may not be what you wanted them to be. Or the tendency of flowing from day to day takes us away from the need to pause, think, analyze and act. Our nature is determined by the nature of circumstances around us. Different situations make or break our understanding of the well-known concepts of life. What you believe to be ideal may not hold true in the light of certain events. On the other hand, it may be necessary to adapt to changing situations with a new mindset. Reflection is about such an idea of self-analysis. If change is the only constant, maybe we may need to change some of our thoughts in the process.

We cannot know everything that is good for us right from the start. It is important to test our own ideas from time to time. I am not talking about major personality changes that are designed for external appearances. Rather the need to look within and see the significance of improving ourselves. Just as we learn new things in the path of our career, work, lifestyle or usual routine, we also need to recognize the value of our thoughts. Reflect over what makes you happy, reflect on that one change you want to see in yourself. Because if you believe there is scope for improvement, there is definitely a scope for happier times. 

We allow ourselves to believe that our nature is carved in stone with everything predetermined from the start. But the truth is we have the power to surprise ourselves as we introspect into the deeper pockets of our mind. We should be able to make room for improvements, while spending some quiet moments with our thoughts. We may not succeed necessarily. We may end up making resolutions only to forget about it the next day like most of the New year resolutions every single year. But we cannot limit the process of self-growth. To progress is to recognize ourselves. To be happy, we must be able to understand what our mind wants. Only after we introspect, do we realize what good or bad comes out of our view towards life. 

One trick that may help in the process of self-reflection is to stay clear of judgements. Do not take a judgmental approach on your mind. It may only make it difficult to accept your faults or shortcomings with a clear lens. We are definitely not perfect in any or every way. We undoubtedly need millions of self-reminders to avoid repetitive mistakes or follow patterns of errors as always. 

There is no harm if you fail your self-improvement measures. But there is harm if you cannot stay true to yourself. It is often said facing yourself in the mirror is a difficult task if you cannot make peace between your thoughts and actions. If there is a wide gap between what you think is good for you and what you actually do, you may have to rethink quite often. And that is how reflections work. Introspect often, it is a tool to clear your mind of preconceived notions and start resolving for improvements.

At the end, I will leave you with one note. Will you rather cheat yourself into believing that you know everything it is to know about yourself or will you stop for frequent reflections because let’s face it we do learn something new every day. And if we do learn something, why not include ourselves as the subject too?  

…when popular belief ends, and your own one starts

I think I have imparted the unique essence to this post right from the title. As an unusual and never-heard before concept, it has the power to confuse any and every reader who tries. And I do not blame you for reading it twice or wondering what am I up to? But then, would you rather do something that seems correct or sounds correct to everyone or would you rather do something that seems correct to yourself? Somehow as this unique idea cropped into my ever-wandering blogger mind, I was curious to find out. 

Is it incorrect to believe in something that no one seems to agree with? 

Is it wrong to have faith in your abilities, even when the entire world fails to acknowledge it? 

Is it incorrect to be passionate about something that does not fall under the umbrella of popular choices?

 Is it wrong to try in your own way and with your own unique style? 

Is it incorrect to disagree with everyone who doubts your abilities because there is no past evidence of success in a similar field?

 Is it necessary to gauge the popularity of an idea or concept or it is acceptable to try no matter where the popular opinion leans? 

Let’s take a breather. I understand answering my never-ending line of rapid questions will tire you out in the process. But then that is how introspection works. Having a dialogue with the know-it-all mind is like an interrogative session. It prompts to get every piece of information in whichever manner it can. Coming back to the idea, I admire the exceptional level of passion in some passionate individuals who defy popular opinion. When the entire world says it is impossible, there are few people who beg to differ. They use their strengths, belief, faith and trust in their favor to do exactly what others termed as impossible. We see such brilliant examples of hard-work, success and determination all around us. And most of the times, such success stories originate from a humble background laced with difficulties but somehow manage to see the light of achievements in an exceptional way. 

A lot is said about such inspiring individuals from different fields. But is this applicable only to the famous achievers or can we extrapolate it to our lives too? As long as we believe in our motive, efforts and hard work, it is possible to go against popular notion. If the usual trend shows so-called parameters of tried and tested formulas, it is absolutely possible to go beyond and above. If we are able to invest our faith and belief into something, we can definitely move mountains. Popular belief tells us what is normally seen in the world around us. But it does not discredit any original passion that has not been seen before. This can relate to any and everything in life. Be it your career or hobby, a passion for something or an interest to learn something new; there is no need to trap yourselves in so-called ideal means of life. It is necessary to move out of our comfort zone to do something that appeals to our mind. We may fail or succeed, like it or give it up for something else. How we choose to proceed is on us, but whether we should seek validation is the point in question. As long as believe in doing something, it is all that matters. 

Most of our ideas of a successful or happy life revolve around what is acceptable to the greater population. We allow our mind to doubt itself because we want it to adhere to acceptable beliefs of the society. But what is the harm in engaging in our passion and doing something we believe in? There are no fixed formulas to success. Even though you may choose a popular activity as your hobby, you may not succeed magically because others were able to do so. It all boils down to your own efforts and dedication. Then why do we wait for validation? Why do we want to hear what the society thinks about a particular activity? We rely on several external factors to judge what is right or wrong. No wonder we strive to seek validation from our friends and peers. We find it safe if they approve our choices. If we realize we have similar choices of book or movies, we feel happy to blend well. But why can’t we disagree and hold our own individual beliefs? It is so necessary to follow common beliefs in order to be a part of something? 

I am somehow tempted to play with the idea of uniqueness. Be different and inspire others. Our society needs more happy stories of people who believe in their choices. We should find motivation to live our stories to the fullest. Wouldn’t it be fun if each one of us fills our book of life with fun-filled episodes? We may fail or succeed. Laugh at our mistakes for trying out something stupid or congratulate our efforts to set a positive example. In either case, we can be contented with the idea that we tried. We didn’t let the world decide our fate right from start. They may have warned us that we can’t spread laughter with our set of jokes, yet we tried. They may have forced us to believe that our life is just usual like any other. But we refused to stay contented. We rather painted it with some funny embarrassing moments because we have the power to laugh at ourselves. Do not let the popular belief bring you down. It is absolutely fine to lose a challenge and come back empty-handed. It is absolutely okay if no one applauded your song on stage because it was not melodious as expected. It is okay to not gather praises because your happiness does not depend on the external factors. It originates from your own heart and as long as you have made yourself happy, it is more than you could ask for. 

I do not intend to discredit the significance of other people and their opinions. I do not want to lower the importance of competitions, evaluations, and judging contests. It takes a lot to gather appreciation for your efforts. But at the same time, I do not want to live with the thought that it is important to gain validation every single time. We can be unique in our own way. We can attempt to act and believe in something that has purity of purpose from start to end. There will be times when the world shall support you while you try something offbeat. There will be times when the same world will point fingers and mock your efforts, declaring you a confirmed failure even before you start. Their prejudices and doubts may drive you to question your ideas too. If the idea of your passion sounds good to your ears, it is definitely worth trying. After all, you do not live for popular belief or so-called notions of the society. You live for yourself and for your idea of satisfaction.

More often than not, your passion may align with the popular belief of the society. But when and if it deviates, the time is right to do it anyways. This brings me back to my line of questions. 

Should you act when and where the popular belief ends and your own one starts? Shout out a yes/no/may be or whatever comes to your mind. I am all prepared to put my money where my mouth is. If everyone disagrees with my opinion, I am happy to have at least tried it, my way.   

  

There are good days and then there are bad days….

I wish the only way that this statement made sense would be by adding the word ‘hair’ before the word ‘days’. So that we could only relate the bad to something as superficial as hair. But that is not the case. Life is not about bad hair days but about actual bad days when everything seems to go south. There is nothing wrong in acknowledging that life can be difficult. There is nothing wrong in accepting that we can make mistakes too or rather we tried but things did not turn our way. If you are wondering why should we ponder about the bad rather than just think or hope for the good, then the answer is because there is no other way. It is necessary to accept everything that life offers to you with a pinch of salt. We always wish for the best, but we have to prepare for the worst.

The reason being it makes us real and human. It is important to pamper ourselves with ‘self-love’ and make our mind feel supportive rather than taking it on some ‘guilt-trip’ over and over again. We think about this only when we are sad but my real motive was to think about it even when everything appears to be good. We have to acknowledge the significance of ups and downs. There is equal mixture of good and bad things for us in life. While we strive to pick the good, we cannot ignore the bad. The real key to embracing life is to make way for the bitter/tangy/boring/undesirable moments too.

I accept that it is easy to say this under a sound frame of mind. We all turn philosophical when we have an assigned time slot to ponder. But how do we react when the reality hits us? We tend to respond in different ways. There cannot be a right or wrong way to do it. But at the end, it may help if we allow our emotions to vent out. It starts by acknowledging the presence of a bad day. May be half the battle is won when we realize that nothing seems to go our way. We may have to make peace with the situation right in front of our eyes. We cannot prepare for bad days in advance. Neither can we celebrate for the good ones much before they unfold. The key is to be there for both the happy and the sad. 

If you feel low in life, it is important to acknowledge it. It is all a part of the bigger picture. Just as those overwhelming emotions made their way into your life, the good ones will too. There will be ample scope for the happier days when we can express gratitude in the truest sense. How we react in our bad times reflects over our experience in the good ones. Make way for the bad so that the good gets its chance too. 

In no way, am I prescribing the need to have low times. And though we always pray for the best, the worst finds its way on its own. What we can do is keep ourselves calm and stable as much as possible. There is no right way to react but it is essential to find our own peace. You may benefit from listening to your favorite songs or simply walking it out. You may want to spend time in the natural surroundings or dive into the world of books. The options are endless but the final choice to pick one over the other is all yours. 

The best way to deal with bad days is to start by recognizing its presence. This clears away all the clouded emotions giving way for a solution. A clouded mind is more like a chocked passage. It needs to be cleared to move to the next step. You may not have a solution which is fine too. You may not know how to react. But you can at least be one step closer to the outcome. People deal with problems in different ways. As far as you keep a stable mind with a desire to come out of it, nothing is lost. And if you believe something good will come out of the bad, you must congratulate yourself. It may not be possible to find the real reason of why things happen, but it is always possible to find the disguised purpose in your own way. Since they say everything happens for a reason, what is the harm in creating one? If it can get you out of the trouble with a ray of hope towards something better, then why not? 

If we are able to be in the moment of the good or the bad, we can take charge of the situation. It is quite obvious we love the good days to their fullest with the desire to extract the most of it, but it also helps if we can be receptive to the bad. That way we may value everything that happens to us. No one said it is easy. No one promised us roses. We can only hope for them. But they did promise us ups and downs. They did say let the sun set for it to rise again. Let it create immense darkness in your life to make way for a brighter tomorrow. Because only then can we appreciate the value of everything that unfolds. We may take things for granted if we do not realize the significance of good and bad. We may not be able to appreciate it right away, but the bad makes us more resilient. It prompts us to find a way out of everything. It pushes us to find the inner strength hidden deep within. Because though we may not be able to admit it, but we are way stronger than the little credit that we give to ourselves.  

Here is to being more in the moment to take charge of the days as and when they come. Here is to love the good and wait for it with bated breath. Also, here is to the bad with a hope that it teaches us something valuable. Here is to the cocktail of good and bad days because life needs the variety to be exciting/livable and amazing at the end. It wouldn’t be called living if we did not experience it all. 

Screen chat or live talk?

Has your shiny smartphone that you carry around actually made you smarter when it comes to communication or has it turned conversation into something absolutely difficult?  

I picked this question as I turned to the last page of an interesting book on digital communication (Reclaiming conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle). With every turning page I felt connected to the realities of this new-found digital screen conversation. The book spoke to me as though it picked every single thought from my mind and put it into black and white prints right in front of my eyes. Though it resonated with my thoughts and came across as an interesting read, I felt an underlying question that seemed to bother me. A question that didn’t cause any major damage or need an immediate attention, but still one that kept me thinking for days on end. And as a self-confessed wonderer that I am (call it occupational hazard of playing with words); I was tempted to see if it relates to me in any way.

Has quick screen chat on ‘n’ number of easy communication apps made the job easier or has it made us hollow when it comes to live face-to-face talk? 

Has it hidden our unpreparedness of speech under a convenient disguise of texts and letters or has it exposed us to the realities of not talking enough? 

And finally, has it helped us understand the significance of heart-to-heart conversation with loved ones and the necessity of being in touch with everyone around?

I know these are lot of questions from one single book, but that is how it inspires us to relate with something in our own life. I do not intend to undermine the importance of screen chats in any way. If it wasn’t for these convenient apps, I wouldn’t be able to be in tune with my people all around the globe, while we battle the unavoidable reality of distance and time-zone. I wouldn’t enjoy the fun of sending messages in a group conversation hours and hours after the whole event as a self-confessed ‘tube light’ or writing about how I feel whenever and wherever it seems right. It is extremely important to connect over the convenience of screen chat to be in touch forever. So, in a nutshell, if we have agreed over the necessity of screen chats, where is the problem, you ask? 

The hesitation arises if and when we are not able to articulate in real words, when it is easier to type out rather than speak for the lack of good medium. I do understand the subjective nature of this matter. It can mean different things in different situations. We cannot possibly dive into sensitive conversations about overly sensitive topics through digital means. But I do sense the overall convenience of hiding behind screen texts. It may communicate your thoughts without revealing the true context which can go one way or the other. It is difficult to express or rather quite unusual to convey what and how you feel if you are tuned behind the screen. 

It only highlights the importance of a conscious thought behind our conversations. We cannot possibly shut our screens to talk to every single person face-to-face. For the convenience of time, it is necessary to turn to screen chats whenever and wherever possible, but not at the cost of spoiling the real bond. It is not necessary to treat every single thought as urgent and express it out into convenient messages. Let us keep the essence of real talk ‘real’ as much as possible. There is no right or wrong way to it. At the end, conveying the thought matters. How and when you choose to do it matters if the choice is yours in the first place. 

We may not realize it but rising social awkwardness can be mapped to this comfort of online talk. Though social media platforms and instant messaging apps make it easy to reach out to someone, they cannot eliminate the warmth of live talks. It cannot grab away the sentiment of connecting to someone in real time. Live talks stand for being attentive to someone in the here and now. It means you are giving your moments of time then and there for your whole-hearted support. 

One of the popularly considered conveniences of screen chat is the ability to multi-task. It makes it easy to do multiple things at once at your pace and your desire. But then, is it necessary to consider any and every kind of communication as a form of task? It arises due to our ‘always online, always connected’ syndrome, but is it good? Slowly and steadily, we may be moving away from the real essence of pure communication.

I realize some of these doubts may arise due to my growing affiliation for written words. While I find happiness behind the screen as part of the job, I may be moving away from live talks or it can be the other way. May be, I am overthinking about the distinction between these two forms of communication, when all that is needed is to put your words across- written or spoken, does not really matter. 

This is when I will need you to step in – what is your take over screen chats and live talks? Does it matter or is it nothing to think about? Do pour in your feedback to my wondering mind because it truly helps -every single time! And on a parting note, I understand you will probably type in your thoughts but let’s agree to keep the irony aside, just this time. 

It’s better played in reality than in the head

They say imagination makes us creative. It helps to frame thoughts, ideas and plans much before the reality unfolds. It is good to have some idea in mind in order to be prepared. No wonder plans and preparations play an important role in our way of work. No task is big or small when it comes to getting started with a game-plan in mind. 

But shouldn’t we restrict this form of planning to a certain extent to prevent unnecessary flow of worries? 

Does it make sense to imagine/think/assume/believe about everything that can happen much before it actually occurs? 

Is it extracting fun when you think about an activity in the future or is it essential to ‘just be prepared’? 

Can your excessive imagination or expectation ruin the reality or does it add to the overall charm? 

There are so many questions when it comes to thinking about the future or playing it in our imagination because somehow it does apply to each one of us.

As I always put it, I cannot talk on your behalf, but I can only state with conviction that the above factors do apply to me in several ways. There is something about the future that tempts us to wander into its prohibited zone. No matter how firmly we believe about not wasting our precious present for a non-existing future, it does manage to pull us in one way or the other. What follows is unnecessary thoughts, ideas and plans into a world far away from the here and now. The title rings true in every sense when we realize our mind tends to overthink or over-doubt in most of the cases. It is one thing to assume and be prepared for the worst, but an equally opposite thing to imagine way beyond what is required. It only drags us down into thinking that everything will turn out undesirable. 

Whether it is a new job or a new assignment, a major event or an upcoming change, we always tend to think about everything that can go wrong. Unknowingly, it transforms into a habit that seems to fit perfectly into every situation. Though it may help to assume first and enjoy the reality later, there is more harm in such kind of occurrence. There are many out there who may not find anything wrong in this, but then doesn’t it put us in the category of ‘excessive over-thinkers’ or ‘people who worry way too much’? Why play a different reality in the head when it can be totally off-track? Unless you possess the supernatural powers of predicting the future in an exactly precise way, I do not see the point of doing so. 

As I see it, it can only ruin the present. It is said we live every moment just once. What you can ‘do’ with it is much more significant than what you actually end up ‘thinking’. There is no limit to the sea of our thoughts. Or better let’s call it an ocean of thoughts. It can take you to the least expected place with the least possible probability of actual reality. But then there is no restriction to thinking? Then why not waste our present for some unnecessary and useless procrastination? It sounds totally incorrect, but that is exactly what we end up doing. 

If we measure our moments in the same way as we measure our days or months, we will realize how much of our life is wasted in thinking because it comes free. I do not intend to say that not thinking about something will make it easy in the future. Though it may point towards ignorance is bliss, I do not abolish the usefulness of being prepared. Be prepared with all possible resources. Make sure you have everything in place. But keep the unnecessary thoughts at bay. Your worries about the worst-case scenario may take you away from this much-needed preparation. You can easily drift into an ocean of thoughts to imagine and dread the wrongs, instead of working on making it right. 

I somehow tend to believe in the fact that even though the dreaded future event may not be a happy or desirable one, it may not be as difficult as we assume it to be. The reality tends to throw in some unexpected surprises which makes everything worthwhile. In retrospect, it adds charm to the entire event and we invariably throw in our famous expression ‘Whatever happens, happens for good.’ Though this is an extremely overrated cliché, it does its job perfectly. 

Our mind gives us way less credit than we deserve. Call it concern or protection, we tend to underestimate our own capabilities. It does help us in investing more efforts but all of this should not be at the cost of spoiling the present. We can always work hard, improve ourselves, invest in learning, and be a better version day by day, but we cannot play with time. The lost time spent over worrying or imagining about future will never come back to give you another ‘present’ opportunity. We need to be present to enjoy the present. Absence in the here and now takes away the precious possibilities hidden deep within. 

So, here is to playing less in the head and more with the reality. Here is to embracing the reality as it comes rather than assuming/imagining/thinking about what it will be like. Living in 3D of reality is more important than thinking about it in 2D, then why waste everything over nothing?

It may be good/bad/happy/sad/horrible/excellent/fantastic/awesome/irritating/scary/fill in more adjectives of your choice – but at the end – it is not your place to predict. It is just your place to live it and go wherever it takes you.  

“We’ll see”

This is probably the shortest title to any of my blog posts, but they do convey what the mind has to say. When there are overwhelming situations, loads of possibilities and equally prominent uncertainties, this short and quick formula comes to the rescue. As we enter into the maze of adulthood that only manages to confuse, it helps to think we will figure it out some way or the other. 

 I am amazed as I write this because growing up, I may be the last person to advocate ‘no planning, no thinking’ policy. Whenever life opened any doable activity or an interactive situation, I would jump at the opportunity of detailed planning. It helped to know how, when, why, where and what of things to be in charge. It might be something to do with being in control that kept me inclined towards plans all along. It was desirable and favorable to have an action plan in hand, not bothering much about the output.

It is only when the rosy days of childhood are replaced by constructive phase of decisive adulthood, it takes us towards the reality of life. I am sure many of my elders must have convinced me about the ill-effects of excessive planning or unnecessary overthinking; but I am also sure, I wouldn’t have understood them back then, right when everything seemed easy. This post is not designed to throw some kind of pessimistic light over planning. I must clear it out beforehand if it seems to steer in that direction. It is more of an easy way to look at change in outlook as we step from one phase to the other.

For many the phrase “We’ll see” stands for indecisiveness or the tendency to put off responsibilities. Though it may seem true in one context, there is another way to look at it. Often, not everything in life can be figured out the moment it unfolds. Reacting to something then and there may not lead to favorable solutions, when the time is not right. Our tendency to overthink about aspects not within reach can take us towards nothing but disappointment. Rather we can act on something when it presents itself in reality. We cannot possibly have all the answers to everything that seems tricky. At times, the key is to harbor patience. It is definitely the most difficult task in hand, but life teaches us the value of patience as we transit from one stage to the other.

‘We’ll see’ or ‘we’ll figure it out’ stands for the faith that things will fall into place if we believe in our actions. The efforts of thinking do not bear any results as much as the efforts of working on it. 

‘Plan in thought’ does not yield any output, it is the ‘plan in action’ that does the trick. This optimistic outlook for the future works in every kind of situation. Whether we are nervous for an upcoming major occasion with worrying thoughts about everything that can go wrong or whether we are sure of some sort of blunders, the primary essence is to believe. Believe that it will fall in place when the time is right. Being prepared from our end is one thing, but assuming the worst or bothering about something way in the future is another. It is good to collect resources and come equipped when needed. But not at the cost of playing with the present. The act of worrying under the disguise of planning drains away the much needed energy from tasks in hand.

 I look at uncertainties as the major players in this thought-process. Because situations can change without any prior notice and circumstances are meant to twist and turn at the least expected moment, the underlying factor is to breathe and believe. Believe in the fact that we can figure out the path ahead. Many of the things are meant to unfold at their own pace. No matter how much we hope to figure it out right now, it may not mean anything until the situation occurs. Till then, all we can do is trust in the reality that we can solve it when the time comes. Why overwhelm about the future when we can see it at a later point? Why not trust ourselves with the ability of figuring out things as and when they unwind? And why not wait for time to help us out in some way? They say time is the greatest healer. I do not know how far this is true because we cannot possibly hand over all our troubles to Mr. Time and wait for the magical result. Rather it helps to hold our horses till the situation arises. Irrespective of good or bad, desirable or undesirable situation - the central factor is to keep patience and trust in the reality of time.

 Try this exercise as a sincere request from my end. When you find yourself in an uncertain scenario with no possible ray of hope, you are clogged with worries to the brim, wondering why it happened, and how to solve it- look at your loved one with a smile and say “We’ll figure it out” or look at yourself in the mirror with confidence “We’ll see”, and observe the difference. I know it may not ease your stress. And I also understand, it may not evaporate the sorrow as much as you hope it does. But it does impart an unexplainable ray of strength. It stands for trusting in yourself and your life that it will illuminate in the least expected way. The key is to smile when everything seems to go south. Because these much needed words at the right moment stand for hidden inspiration at its best.

So at the end, what will you pick- “we’ll see” or “we’ll break our head” right here, right now for the unnecessary stress that follows? As for me, it’s a loud and clear “We’ll see”, not to bother till the moment stands here in front.

My experiments with living in the moment, one day at a time

I have started believing in the concept of ‘perfect timing’. It is for not for nothing that I was suddenly prompted to repeat my usual process of pondering, writing, some more pondering, some more writing as soon as the first sip of coffee hit the right chords at the right moment.

No amount of resolutions can work wonders if we do not pause to reflect, introspect, analyze and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. It is important to pause and check if we can and should continue over the path rather than be happy about some long lost thought in mind. I am not one for regretting over lost chances of resolution because regrets are the easiest means of doing nothing. But I am definitely up for making sure I do what I intend to do. Before I slip into the fantastic world of self-praising where I can go on and on about the good I do (if you believe me, the list is quite long under the light of my self-claimed two minutes to fame).

On a serious note, the pondering about resolutions is about my desire to live one day at a time. After my unexpected, unlikely, adventurous but let’s call it memorable rendezvous with the big C, I was unknowingly pulled into significance of ‘being in the present’. I programmed my mind to do so as one of the most efficient steps to get through the rather most difficult times. Call it survival or adaptation, I enjoyed the blissful world of being in the here and now. No amount of worry seemed to stop me when all I had was to take care of the one thing in front. I can label it as blessing in disguise because it empowered me to focus over what is important.

 The useless habit of procrastinating about the future was neatly transformed into working in the present. All of a sudden as though a magic eraser worked its charm, there was no record of the past and no botheration about the future when I was contented with all the possibilities of the present. They say we shouldn’t dig into unpleasant past memories, hence the intention of this article is not to expose those occurrences, but rather to see how they help me today. I was happily living in the moment, taking one day at a time. 

With complete focus over the present, the significance of ‘this is it’ shone in bright colors. I was more receptive to the things around me in the present tense. I didn’t realize everything seemed so perfect in the here and now. Suddenly there was an unexplainable magic in observing the birds, sky, trees, clouds for they had never met me in the same way before. Or rather I didn’t make any efforts to meet them earlier. The new found urge of taking it one day a time made sure I was seizing every moment to the best of my abilities. There was a renewed sense of joy to do the same things but with a newer approach. As if all I had is just this and nothing else, I was contented to experience it in the rawest form.

Living one day at time made me happy to work in the present tense with accompanying happiness at the very same moment. It did not erase away sorrow or anger. It wasn’t a quick-fix to ensure unlimited stock of joy. But it was a successful attempt to not bother about something that made no difference to life as it unfolded. If you observe closely, you will realize the excessive usage of past tense. It was then that I chose to live in the moment, so how am I doing it today? Rather, am I even continuing it today to reap the innumerable benefits of here and now?

This post is to find out what significance it holds now? Am I able to live in the moment years after the experience or was it just a temporary solution to a permanent problem?

Should I continue to practice the act of not bothering about the future when all I have and possibly will ever have is ‘this’? Or should I quit ‘the one day at a time’ mission for the rather ambitious project of forever?

Is it necessary to use the one-time opportunity of uncertainty as the foundation or is it advisable to forget about it completely?

Years after the experience, it is difficult to be in the moment, yet it is not impossible to not do so. I enjoyed every moment of it back then and I hope to do so for the rest of the time. All the magic of appreciating the present and living a wholehearted life seemed to disappear into thin air as if the uncertainty vanished forever. But now as I pen down the benefits, I realize the need to continue over the path. Reflecting over the resolution has made me understand that the beneficial effects outweigh the primary cause that put me into it. All that matters is the happiness instilled into me as an unexpected side effect and I see no harm in continuing to do so.

I can live in the moment, one day a time for that is all I have and meant to have. You can disagree with the thought or you can apply a different viewpoint for we live different lives in a different set-up. I find happiness in sharing the experiences that make me, without the slightest intention to preach. Writing these thoughts is my way of sending it out to the universe, hoping to be reminded whenever and wherever I am off it.

I can only label them as experiments because that is what they will continue to be. Till I master the art of not drifting away, while keeping the ‘now’ in focus, there are many things to be accomplished. But I truly believe in the hidden motive of the universe. I owe it for putting a slight end though not a complete one to the unnecessary act of procrastinating. When unwanted worries are at bay, there is scope for productive thoughts in the present.

How do you succeed in staying true to what you believe in? Do you need frequent revisits to your resolutions or do you flawlessly adopt them into your system?  

Stop wishing, and start believing?

    How often have you heard yourself say “I just wish this comes true” or “I sincerely hope it happens”? If you are like any other human with a little beating heart and a huge thinking mind, chances are you do hope/wish/pray quite often than you actually sit to notice. Or in case I shouldn’t talk on your behalf, I can strongly state my inclination towards hoping and wishing. Though I realize the pointlessness of wishing against the measurable parameters of working, I tend to slip into the well of hopes and wishes rather involuntarily. It is said there is no use of wishing or hoping when you can actually do something about somethings. 

  Wishes and hopes are like castles in the air without any blueprint, design or necessary resources. Instead it is important to start working on the project to see the output in constructive terms. Now in an ideal practical world, I would definitely find myself subscribing and adhering to this philosophy about hopeful thoughts. I would happily shut my mind to not think about what it wants rather work towards every single idea cropping in its remotest corner. But then, neither am I in any ideal practical world nor will I achieve such high level of self-control to not think at all. Mind is known for wandering and hence it will always do what it finds the best in most of the situations.

 Why such sudden emphasis on thoughts, mind and the related philosophy? The answer lies in my recent pondering over the value of wishes and hopes. And because I will not like to think alone, let me pop the question for your introspection too. Should we continue wishing and hoping for situations to turn in our favor, though they appear nowhere close to what we desire? Or should we quit the mission after a certain threshold of patience? Is there any weight-age to sending out thoughts in the form of wishes or is it useless to expect that things will work out just because we believe in them? To put it the other way, should we stop wishing and start believing about what we want in life? Rather than an imaginary hopeful thought, does it help to believe that it will eventually turn true? You may be able to resonate with this question if you have heard about the significance of sending our vibes to the universe. They say if you believe in a certain situation turning true, it will eventually materialize.

 The problem arises during the long waiting period that demands every ounce of our patience. We may be investing the best form of our efforts with detailed attention to every input from our end, but it may not reflect over the output. During vulnerable times like these, it is important to continue working towards our goal, no matter where it may seem to drift away. The significant factor is believing that things will turn in our favor. Delayed outcome is still an outcome at the end. Whether you stop believing in your goals or continue working hard no matter how impossible it may seem is the real question in place. In such circumstances, I like the idea of believing that things will work out eventually. Because no matter how strong you feel from within, there is a limit to how long you can continue wishing? Unless you are extremely patient in even the most uncertain situations, there comes a time when you cannot think or act any further. At such times, it helps to continue believing instead of just hoping.

  I feel believing in your efforts and trusting in your inputs takes you first step towards the desired end. There is a huge difference between wishing in the air and actually visualizing the results in your head, no matter how imaginary they may seem. I agree this high-end philosophy only sounds good in words. I must confess that these ideas are easier said than done. When the stock of patience seems to exhaust, nothing can come to the rescue. Vulnerability of situations takes away the best of a person, leaving hollow space of nothingness. It is during situations like these, when you need to start believing.

 I understand plain belief cannot turn an undesirable circumstance into a desirable one in a matter of few minutes. But it can at least restore faith and energy when everything is at its lowest. Instead of succumbing to your patience and giving up because you cannot seem to find the end in sight, it is beneficial to simply believe. I know believing is not the same as doing, but it can at least keep us going. We realize the significance of faith and trust when everything seems to pull us down. Rather, the positive thought that yes somewhere, sometime, somehow everything will fall in place gives more comfort.

 I cannot advocate plain thinking because I do not understand its value, but I can definitely vouch about the power of believing, if and when life seems to fade into some sort of uncertain darkness.

So, what is your take? Would you rather stop wishing, start believing, do both of it or none of it?