N: Never regret- Never repent- Never overthink

  

My piece of cappuccino art! Though I am tempted to label it 'heart', I leave the judgment to your imagination :) 

  When I started with the ‘A-Z’ series as a means to reflect over significant aspects of my life, I was sure to touch positive words- every letter, every week. After all, positive approach shapes the entire thought process, hence there was nothing to explain or justify. 

     Therefore, convincing my mind to start with a negative word ‘never’ was bit of a challenge. After innumerable arguments (in my head); reality was finally picked over popular and acceptable notion.

   While acceptable notion is to favor positive words over negative ones or choose ‘what to do’ over ‘what not to do’, it was difficult to weigh the importance of ‘never’. But at times, it is necessary to focus over the need to stop doing something, when that ‘something’ transforms into a usual occurrence. When we convince our mind to stay away, it learns the real essence of its harm.

After clearing the cloud of doubt and pouring rain of reality, here I am typing about ‘never’. 

   'Never regret, repent or overthink’ is my motto to quit inhibitions, give up fear and do what the mind wants to. It does not promote mindless actions or stupid daring challenges. It does not endorse dare-devil acts to land up in a soup and blame the bold mind. But, it stands for quitting unnecessary doubts, worries and fears, arising from the useless faculty of a scared mind.

  Regretting over past actions or repenting over what we did is totally non-productive by all means. While it is impossible to clear any bit of what happened, what is the point in revisiting the past to burn your present? ‘No regret policy’ also applies to our over-thinking mind who does not believe in seizing the moment.

     Instead of grabbing the first available opportunity to attempt something novel, I always end up entertaining my over-cautious mind. Though this caution arises from the need to protect me, it can get in the way of trying something different. At times - a perfect balance between confidence, caution and adventure is all you need to be someplace else. Away from a comfort zone of what is good, bad, accepted or allowed, it is necessary to get away from so-called permissible limits.

  Such times demand an attitude of ‘going with the flow’. You may be determined to attempt a novel activity, but your over-protective mind will definitely stop you from doing so. That is when, the adventurous cards should be put into action. It is not necessary to act your age or do your usual things, every single time. If the situation calls for a fun dance or a stupid action, why not embrace the joy and go for it?

      Listening to your cautious matured mind is like giving up childhood fun for the fear of getting hurt or falling down. We all know that one will fall down at least twice or thrice while riding the bicycle or get hurt while chasing the opponent in the determination to win. Yet these things pose as the best lessons to find our way out from the challenges ahead. Not every fall is designed to hurt you and not every novel action is meant to embarrass you. Unless you learn to enjoy the flow and try something new, you cannot extract the fun of being human.

  This attitude has prompted me to say ‘yes’ to a dreaded roller coaster ride or hike five miles to catch a perfect view. It has forced me to embrace the joy of going out of my way to do what I never expected. It has prompted me to sing whatever I want or dance whenever I feel like.

    But does the fun end with it? Ideally it should. Generally, we do enjoy this madness in spur of the moment and say/do/experience what we feel like, only to sit and think about the flow, the next day. After the setting changes, our ‘so-called’ matured mind drives us into a guilt ride under the pretext of knocking some sense. But, this act of overthinking or repenting is totally wrong by all means. If we decide to go with the flow and embrace every single moment, it is incorrect to sit with a rule-book and judge the past. Because it is impossible to re-create the same situation, it is also impossible to replicate the same logic. What appeared as bright and beautiful route in the daylight is bound to look dark and scary in the night.

 As long as you savor the moment without harming or hurting someone, you are good to go. And even if your stupid dance embarrasses someone, it is not up to you to please others. At times, this madness will keep you sane in the weird maze of the world.  

  I have never understood the meaning of regret/repent. What is the point of feeling sorry for what you did yesterday, when you had all of that ‘yesterday’ to not do it? It does not mean that I am immune to stupid mistakes or innocent errors. Each one of us may do something wrong in the moment, but there is no logic in crying over it the next day. Instead of regretting about your past, you can accept, learn and amend your ways ahead. What is the practical output of saying “I wish I had booked this trip earlier!” or “I wish I had booked the concert tickets” when it is over by the time you talk about it?

  Only when ‘I wish’ converts to ‘I did it’, it makes sense. No point in regretting or repenting, when you had all the time in the world to fulfill it. Regret is an absolute waste of your precious present. No matter how sad you feel for not dancing at the party yesterday, it will not be conducted again today. Sure, there are many more opportunities ahead and agreed that life does not end with one missed chance, but postponing is as bad as quitting. Much before one realizes, we end up chasing a mirage to catch something that does not exist. Leave your inhibitions today and try something different. It will be embarrassing/stupid/insane, but it will be fun.

    Either you fail at the attempt or emerge successful, either you have fun in the trip or find it boring or either the experience is memorable or horrible, you can only take it as a lesson. No use of regretting about your choices because at the end it was you who made them. 

    Often we look at kids today and say ‘I wish we had the same facilities’ or ‘I wish I had the resources’, but the truth is you did have ‘equivalent’ or ‘analogous’ to what they have today. Everything belongs to a certain time frame and hence the logic is to be in the flow, rather than comment on the stream from outside.

 Regret turns harmful when we make it a habit. As we learn to manipulate and convince our mind, we end up ‘not doing something’, only to coat it with layers of regret. Once we present this fear under the disguise of regret, we are able to find our way out.

  This demands the need of stressing over ‘never’. As regret and repent are out of my books, I do not allow my mind to say ‘I wish’. While it is absolutely human to fail, it is also human to ‘just do it’!

So, do...

Learn a new language

Dance like no one is watching

Sing your heart out

Smile at a stranger 

Talk to your people, whenever and wherever you want

Book a trip

Eat that cake

Go out of your ‘expected’ behavior to be different

Take chances

Feel sad

Accept your mistake

Ignore the noise

Forgive and forget

Express your sorrow

Laugh at your mistakes

Say ‘I messed up!’

Drink your ego

Take a risk

Gulp down that jealousy

Seize opportunities

And ‘never regret’

While you do all of it, do share your feedback over how stupid this sounds or how matured it turns out to be.

P.S: Dear Sister and Husband – I must credit both of you for this thought. The number of times you have expressed the desire to do something has only made me realize that ‘doing’ is not the same as ‘thinking.' Quit that cute-faced regret, it does not work, always!  

M: Materialistic or non-materialistic: pick sides or blend them both?

   

    In order to choose one option from the title, all we have to do is look into their classic definitions. While ‘materialistic’ stands for inclination towards materials, objects, physical possessions and belief that physical attributes rule the world; non-materialistic stands for the opposite. Believing in spiritual, motivational and material-free world, non-materialistic do not consider materials as the core of life. If we were to rely over these meanings - we will pick ‘non-materialistic’ category, speak two sentences about the value of people, mind, feelings and relations over things and move to the next topic.

But, is it that simple?

Can we say we are non-materialistic and cut ties with the objects that actually mean something to us?

Is the line dividing these categories so bold and bright that we can cross over to one side and stay there forever?

Or is the distinction quite hazy and unclear, hence we can only blend the two and stay somewhere in between?

And finally, can we mix proper proportions of the two and create a suitable cocktail that suits our lifestyle?

   Materialistic thinking weighs objects and possessions above anything and everything in life. Hence, aspects such as brand, value, cost, appeal, use, status, need, comparison make a huge difference. Though these may sound too hollow to be significant, we do need them along the way. While it is inappropriate to be blinded by these factors, it is also incorrect to leave it all and turn into saints.

   This makes it quite clear that picking sides may not be the correct way, but blending them as per situation is the right key. Mixing them in appropriate proportions depending on age, interest, need, happiness and fun may be the ideal thing to do. And like all the other factors in life, balance is what makes it worthwhile. There is no harm in holding some affection towards your possessions, but there is harm in being obsessed with it.

  Accumulating more than you need, allowing materials to rule your thoughts, being unsatisfied with whatever you own and longing for more always are just some of the factors that turn ‘materialistic approach’ into a villain. 

  It is true earning possessions and assets drive us to work. It prompts us to make efforts, work hard and stay determined in our approach. But, earning for materials alone is incorrect. The motive to own things for status and position or show it off to those around is probably the worst form of self-harm, driving us to barter our peace of mind in the process.

  Materialistic approach does not include bare essentials, necessary for our everyday life. It also does not involve spending money over assets that put a roof over our head or drive us around the town. Though open forests and natural resources in their raw form sound fun and adventurous, we still have to stick to our routine materials as humans! But, it definitely stands for the unnecessary craze of pilling up items. Things that enter into our mind, much before they enter into their roles. Things that scream brand, status, position, much before they talk to our purpose and wallet. And things that flaunt our wealth, only to increase feelings of jealousy, ego, self-esteem and hatred.

    It is easy to fall into the trap or even tempting to stay a bit longer. As young, energetic versions with thrill and fun for life, there is nothing wrong in buying gifts for ourselves or dreaming about the next cool ‘gadget’ in the market. It is only when this thrill turns into obsession or addiction, when things start to go beyond our control.

  ‘Own things, rather than let them own you’ is the motto I grew up with as a little child. And though I can proudly flaunt these lines today, it was not the same back then. As an immature kid, it was difficult to understand, why demanding things was a bad habit or hoping for elaborate gifts was an incorrect practice? It is only after you think about it as adults, when you realize that seeds sown during childhood reap into lush plants at a later stage. And while I continue to walk over this path even today, association with a like-minded life-partner simply adds to the charm.

   Though I am not the ideal person to preach about ‘non-materialistic’ approach (thanks to the ‘n’ number of clothes in my closet), I do make efforts to tone down materials, whenever and wherever I can. Hence, while I cannot list down ideal practices to be followed, I can offer a sneak-peek into my diary of thoughts. As pointers to my mind, these reminders come handy, when the materialistic restlessness chooses to create some havoc. If these thoughts resonate with your diary too, do send your thumbs-up. On the other hand, if they mean nothing at all - feel free to say so.

Dear Me,

1.       You cannot impress people on the basis of what you own. It is totally alright to be poor, miser, boring or out-of-fashion, if that is what it takes to defend your empty house and clutter-free life.

2.       Do not buy things to be an acceptable part of the society. No materials, items, brands, or trends can make you a perfect ‘fit’ into the puzzle of mankind.

3.       Getting intimidated by possessions of others is like a one-way ticket to misery. You can never come out of it and only add to unnecessary chaos in your routine.

4.       Your material-loving-friend is not wrong in his/her approach. Priorities and choices are separate. Instead of finding joy in judgments, find joy in your choices.

5.       Use materials as accessories to compliment your appearance; and not as ‘make-up’ to hide your real self.

6.       Always spend on experiences, hobbies, activities and adventures and less over gadgets, labels, clothes and furniture.

7.       You can wear that same jacket and repeat those same set of clothes to ten tourist places. But, you cannot possibly go to ten places, if you end up spending everything on different branded jackets and unique clothes for every single trip!

8.       Adventures and activities need interest, excitement, thrill and spirit, way before they need appropriate gear, shoes, kit and fancy accessories to show off.

9.       You are what you do and how you behave; no one remembers what clothes you wear or what phone you own; but they do remember how you smile, weep, enjoy and radiate the joy of life.

Combine these two opposite qualities by the right amounts and enjoy the output. When too many physical possessions begin to crowd your rooms and mind; it is time to halt, think and evaluate, before you make the rooms bigger!

L: Lean management principles for the project, process and purpose called ‘Life’

   

The next letter ‘L’ in the A-Z series was absolutely easy to begin with. After all, it holds the honor of most important words such as ‘Life’ and ‘Love’. This made it simple in several ways than one. But, if I picked these typical words for the post, it would turn into a ‘cliche’, and then cliche is boring. If as a creative blogger/writer, I didn’t choose an offbeat word, the entire flow of creativity or fun of doing something different would go down the drain. Hence the word in title ‘Lean’. So, what is ‘Lean management’? And why should we incorporate its principles in our life?

   A super word in corporate cultures, lean management speaks about increasing efficiency, minimizing waste, streamlining processes and optimizing utilization of resources. It translates to efficient production sans wastage or effective execution sans confusion. It also equates to frequent evaluation of processes to eliminate bottlenecks and hurdles. All-in-all, a corporate strategy to be the best, with careful and humanly evaluation. 

   Lean management does not mean concentrating on mass production or multiplying profits alone, but it prompts conscious and considerate approach towards the entire process. It is more of a value-driven strategy, which eliminates steps that are absolutely useless or repetitive, offering nothing good in return.

  Pardon me, if I wandered into a totally diverse zone, while getting carried away in the corporate language. My aim is not to frame a lecture for some business management class (though it sounds so ‘cool’!), but to implement these lean principles in something as significant and obvious as ‘Life’. Agreed, life is not some project or process, it is more of our ‘whole’ than a ‘part’, yet no harm in pondering over a bit. If it is possible to extract the meaning of lean management and apply some to our life, it will only be beneficial. And if at the end of this analysis, we do not find it useful, we can always walk away with some piece of learning.

    As the name suggests ‘lean management’ will ensure cutting off waste, while showering value from start to end. If we were to apply these principles to our life, wouldn’t it offer lot of benefits along the way?

If we are successful in identifying useless energy draining practices from our own path, wouldn’t it help to some extent?

And finally, as it stands for continuous evaluation, wouldn’t it make sense to contemplate, reflect and check for ourselves to observe some positive change?

  If this sounds interesting, join me as I make an attempt to apply these principles to life. And if by the end of it - you approve, disapprove, accept or find it ‘good for nothing’, do send your feedback (cannot disclose the goodies for disagreement and ‘special’ goodies for agreement, something to do with bribery and luring the readers!)

On a series note, let’s ponder together. Though there are many versions of lean management and many principles that form its core (depending on the organization, industry or product), I will pick a few well-known ideas.

1.       Continuous improvement

  Life is about improvements and progress. Every single day, we become better versions of ourselves. From the time we learn to use our cute baby faces to attract the attention of our parents to the time we can communicate clearly with matured conversations, we are simply improving along the way.

   Continuous improvement stands for betterment. The moment we enter into stability or stagnation, the fun is all lost. And it does not equate to progress in education, qualification or employment alone. Each one of us, at every stage of life can learn something new, improve our existing skills or simply know about the new things around. Change is the only form of progress. You may disagree with modern times or end up finding more faults and flaws, but remember in the progressive nature of time. It only walks ahead, without returning back.

2.       Waste elimination

 If we take the literal meaning of this principle, we will end up in some biological or environmental studies. But, it does make a lot of sense in our living too. The point of waste elimination is to figure out the useless factors and segregate them from the valuable ones.

Some of the most common form of waste in our lives:

ü  entertaining negative comments,

ü  defending our choices to the world,

ü  justifying our decisions,

ü  getting hurt by anything and everything,

ü  assuming unspoken words,

ü  misunderstanding or digging too deep into what people say,

ü  wasting energy in fighting oppositions

ü  harboring jealousy and temptation to compare ourselves with others

ü  placing ego above everything else

Agreed, there are no magic wands to change us in one single day. It is nowhere close to discarding household trash, every morning or as simple as maintaining dustbins to get rid of waste; but it is not impossible either. Every project takes time, efforts and dedication. If we agree to consciously avoid these practices, we may be able to discard 20% of the waste, to assume the least.

3.       Efficiency and systematic approach

    While these terms sound good in manufacturing and industries, systematic approach in life can be extremely boring. It may convert us into robots and machines, removing the fun of surprises and uncertainties. And hence, there was lot of friction between my mind and brain, as they fought over usefulness of this practice. But to think of it, we can apply systematic approach in many disciplines of life.

   We can introduce sincerity and discipline for our good health and well-being. Things such as traveling, documentation, assets, and legal factors demand our conscious approach. Punctuality is another domain that can equate to efficiency. At times, it is necessary to work smart, instead of toiling hard. With favorable changes in our mannerism, we can go something good. Rather than criticizing or commenting on how people work, we can pay attention to their strategies and adopt the useful bits (though, how mothers multitask to take care of their kids is beyond understanding.)

4.       Optimal utilization of resources

   Well, this is a debatable and controversial topic to enter into! But, I enjoy risks, so let’s begin (dear Mr.Perfect husband, now is a good time to stop reading and exit from the post!) Utilization of every single thing with utmost care, value and in an efficient manner is the gist of this principle. Rather than accumulating resources, we should use them to their fullest capacity. Recycle, reduce and reuse can also come into the picture.

 Think about the purpose before accumulating materials. Do we really need something new to look presentable every single time or should we collect things in the house because others do? Besides materials, we should also focus on resources such as time, efforts and support. We should stay away from taking people for granted or relationships for a ride. Plan things in an efficient manner to avoid unnecessary wastage of any kind.

 Another significant aspect of lean is 'moving in a flow'. Stay in the moment and flow along the journey of life. Deep thinking about the past or worrying about the future will obstruct the fluid like state of present. 

I will sign off by saying, no mountain can be climbed without the first step and no destination can be reached without walking the first mile. I will definitely make an attempt to implement these principles, as life is about enjoying the show sans the drama!

K: ‘Keep’– the center of all actions, the core of all conditions, the lighthouse of inspiration, the navigator of life

    If you look at the literal meaning of ‘keep’, it stands for two things - possession and retention of a specific condition. While my idea is to focus on the latter, ‘keep’ makes a lot of sense by influencing our actions. Whether it is ‘keep smiling’ to stay happy or ‘keep doing’ to achieve something, ‘keep it simple’ to be contented with simplicity or ‘keep going’ to stay on track towards the goal, the word ‘keep’ stands for many significant things in our journey. 

  Though I was tempted to use ‘K for knowledge’ or ‘K for kindness’, I rather voted for ‘keep’, realizing its real-life practical worth. As this A-Z series is designed to reflect on a significant aspect of my life along every single letter, it only justified the need to pick a motivational action over some well-known nouns.

  We often hear ‘keep smiling’, ‘keep going’ and ‘keep doing’ as positive advice to continue over the path. Though the transit may seem difficult; unless we stick to the condition with determination, we cannot expect any output. ‘Keep’ does not stand for stagnation or stability. It does not persuade you to keep doing the same thing for the rest of your life, under the pretext of success or satisfaction. Rather it motivates you to eliminate any thoughts of quitting.

   One can change/transform/alter or improvise the strategy to reach the final goal. But, not at the cost of quitting the plan or abandoning the efforts. Unless, we keep doing, there is no point of expecting results. You cannot travel unless you take the first step, likewise you cannot expect gains without investing a single drop of effort.

   It will be easier if I reflect over each of the above four actions separately, while doing what I enjoy the most- writing, pondering, writing and pondering again.

Keep smiling- it works wonders in the least expected ways!

  More than an act of displaying kindness or affection, smile is the fool-proof ice-breaker in almost any situation. It lays the foundation for fruitful interactions by building better communication. And while this caters to the domain of interpersonal skills, smile also radiates love, positivity, happiness and cheer within ourselves. No matter how complicated the situation appears, smile is more of a reliable buddy.

    It may not dissolve the mountain of errors or challenges. Neither can it pose as a short-cut way to gain instant success, but it does lighten the environment in an amazing way. Because at the end, your broad and bright smile will not help you clear the examinations but it will lighten your heart with faith and hope. At the same time, this smile may not even yield any positive results, but then it won’t harm either. There is no point in displaying anger, hatred or irritation. As if the challenge is not difficult enough, your sad feelings or expression will only further add to the chaos.

 Refrain from bitter thoughts or angry expressions and dive into the pool of smiles. Season it with laughter if you can and sense the difference. If a situation is meant to be difficult, challenging and overwhelming, why not smile a bit and see if it helps? And if it is designed to pull you towards failure, no matter how hard you work, why not smile and accept it all with open arms? If you can’t really transform it into success, the least you can do is keep smiling and live right at the center of it all.

Keep doing – only your efforts can translate into results

   Before I continue, here is a little word of caution. ‘Keep doing’ does not stand for wrongdoings or deliberate mistakes. It does not represent acts of hatred or harm that can hurt someone or create havoc. Keep doing things that bring a positive difference.

  ‘Keep doing’ can work in its motive of inspiring us to continue our efforts. Quitting- if things do not seem to turn our way is definitely the easiest way out, but often the most terrible one. Keep doing things that bring you closer to happiness, while filling your hearts with joy. Keep doing what matters the most to you and enjoy the fruits of satisfaction. It may not necessarily go the way you wanted. But, it will definitely teach you something valuable along the way. No efforts can ever be harmful or completely useless. Something good will always emerge from the act, either pointing out the errors or leading you towards the alternative route.

Keep going- the destination is just a couple of blocks away

  Do not take the literal sense of this word, or else you will walk past the destination! On a mindful yet practical note, keep going inspires one to continue the journey. A close relative of ‘keep doing’, this thought too translates into staying determined and focused. Without any traces of perseverance, it is impossible to reach the destination. And, as it commonly happens in 90% of cases, we end up losing our patience, faith or energy at the very last critical moment.

  All our efforts are lost in the bargain, if we cannot stick to the route till the end. No matter how impossible it may seem, it is essential to keep going. Staying still at a point will only drive us nowhere. Instead of fearing failure and dead ends, why not venture a bit and invest some efforts. It will only enlighten us about wrong turns, rather than procrastinating from a stagnant point. Most of our failure stems from overthinking in the head, hence keep going instead of thinking. It does the opposite of deep analysis.

Keep it simple

  This is probably the most common reminder I send to my mind, time and again. Often the glamour and buzz around us drives us to unnecessary expectations or non-essential activities. It prompts us to spice our journey, for the need to be ‘in’ and ‘happening’. Instead I often find happiness and joy in simplicity. As we are programmed to materials, hypes, trends and shine, we tend to believe in their ability to make us happy. We rely over fancy experiences or trendy items to deliver the joy of living. There is no harm in trying out all kind of experiences to enjoy every single step along the way. But it is incorrect to run behind something that appeals to the herd, and not to our head.

  Peer pressure to fit into society is absolutely wrong on every fronts. Hence, plain Jane may be happier than trendy Julie. Simplicity works on every fronts- from lifestyle to beliefs, relationships to ideas, advice to experiences, keeping it simple is the wisest choice. It is only when we learn to eliminate unnecessary complications, the entire picture brightens up in the process. Erasing clouds of complications and shades of complexities can work wonders. Keep life simple and enjoy what it offers. You will be surprised, but the most common cliche – ‘greatest of joy lies in simplest of things’ does make sense.

  Keep up the good work of living life the way it is meant to be. None of us are certified masters to claim the best way, but surely we are happy, experimental projects in the making! Keep smiling, doing, going and striving towards simplicity, rest all will be taken care. 

J: Jokes ‘apart’ or ‘a part’ - just kidding can be ‘just’ too!

   

    To begin with, as a little ignorant kid I always thought jokes were absolutely unnecessary, useless and the greatest time-killers of all. Firmly believing in their childish appeal, I equated them with immaturity. While seriousness and maturity defined elders, I believed jokes were only reserved to entertain little innocent minds. I pictured a fictional world where jokes posed as distractions and laughter as loud blaring noise. Hence, not engaging in them as adults seemed to be the perfect way of embracing adulthood.

    I was always sure that the flavors of jokes and humor are meant to fade with passing time, making us matured and responsible in the world full of elders. There was nothing ‘just’ about ‘just kidding’ or ‘just joking’. But as they say, you cannot test the waves from the shore, I could not gauge the value of laughter and humor as a little child, back then. 

   Experience of adulthood transformed my opinion completely. So much is the significance of humor, laughter, jokes and mischief that it bagged a place in my A-Z series, ringing the next letter ‘J’. These pieces of entertainment represent the perfect balance in life, urging us to be sane, yet stupid at the same time.

   Whether they greet us in the form of funny messages on social media or perfectly timed silly dialogues on screen, whether they originate from the funniest person in our group or quick-witted reply from our loved ones, jokes and their subsequent laughter are extremely essential, to say the least.

What is the fun of meeting your set of people, if you cannot joke, tease or poke at them in any way?

What is the point of calling someone your ‘own’, when you cannot laugh at them openly?

How do you lighten the burden of adulthood, if you cannot laugh at yourself for the silliest goof-ups along the way?

And what is the harm in expressing your love, affection, concern or involvement by kidding with your people?

  As an excuse to answer these questions, do not mock me or pull my leg with some funny words as feedback. This is a serious blog post meant for serious discussion, I do not intend to be the lab-mice as you look for solutions to the above queries. And though the title starts with ‘jokes’, it is not meant to be funny in any way. Hence, read on seriously, as we contemplate over the issue as adults.

(‘Just kidding!!!!’.  I hope I succeeded in my desperate attempt to joke around. If I was able to fool you for at least 1/4^th section of the above lines, you will find me in some party, celebrating my new-found success!)

  On a serious note – jokes, laughter and humor are essential along every step of our life. The amount, meaning, frequency, audience and source will definitely change, but the effect shall remain the same. Jokes lighten up our feelings, changing the perspective towards things. You cannot be stern or serious all the time, in an attempt to be responsible. As lighter parts of life that stand for just nothing, jokes are meant for nothing, but fun. Not everything in life is designed for a purpose, hence enjoy humor as a totally purposeless activity.

     As long as you do not annoy people with some offending humor to pull them down, you are good to go. While you cannot judge the impact of your humor or predict their repetitiveness, every single time, it definitely demands common sense just as any other common conversation. And, while creating jokes is fun, being at the receiver’s end should be equally fun too. At times, it is essential to be absolutely senseless, if that makes any sense. Without judgments, conclusions, comments, offense and meaning, it is necessary to just joke around. After all,  mindless comedy has 'less' attached to 'mind'.

   If the words in this title actually stood for real club with members, I see myself enrolled in the ‘jokes are a part’ one. While my ignorant child-dish version would have joined the ‘jokes apart’ club with pride- maturity and adulthood has finally knocked some sense to take away that sense from somethings. It does not mean you have to create jokes every day or randomly mock at people to show your funny quotient. As long as you can open up to laughter and humor powered by a pure motive, there is nothing to worry about.

  In this sensitive and controversial era, where we can offend someone easily or get offended in return, there are some essential pointers around the domain of humor. Read along as I share four interesting aspects of jokes, more like essential laws of humor from my book of knowledge. These are handy, when the silly joker in me decides to run around, without bothering about the consequences.

1.       Jokes and humor are highly subjective with respect to-

1.       age

2.       gender

3.       caste

4.       creed

5.       race

6.       religion

7.       relationship

8.       lifestyle

9.       mood

10.   time

11.   day

12.   month

13.   year

14.   season

15.   need

16.   desire

17.   situation

18.   circumstance

19.   event

20.   occasion

21.   nationality

22.   culture

23.   history

24.   geography

25.   science

26.   mathematics

… wait, does that list even make any sense? Of course not, usefulness of your jokes and reaction of the recipient are totally unpredictable. Hence, choose your audience wisely and joke around only after you gauge the surroundings, correctly! What is funny for one may not be the same for others. A little common-sense and logic can save you from a bitter after-taste to your sweet jokes.

(Word of caution: No logic works in front of your wife. So, quit any attempts to sound funny, and appreciate her jokes, no matter how sad they seem.

Yes, dear husband, it was meant for you too, ever heard of two birds with one shot?)

2.       If you are talking about something to someone and it turns offensive in the middle of the conversation (sensing their anger); quickly use ‘just kidding’ and two bouts of fake laughter to save you from some dangerous consequences.

(Inspired from my dear better-half who seems to have aced this formula, perfectly)

3.       Before learning how to create jokes, learn how to handle them. Any piece of humor, digested incorrectly can lead to upset conditions, anger, tears and sorrow that may spoil the entire system. Stay quiet for some time and let the wave pass, before you can create something equally funny.

4.       Find your consistent and favorite stock of humor- may be a television series, comedy show, movie or a book. Turn to them when you feel sad, happy, bored, irritated or simply whenever you feel like (my personal favorites and recommendation – serial 'Taarak Mehta ka Ooltah Chasmah' and series 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S')

       Share your take over the same and let us laugh at each other along the way. After all what is the fun of life, without any seasonings of laughter?

P.S: Though these rules are framed for myself, if you ever decide to follow them, DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. Fortunately or unfortunately, if they turn out to be a blunder, do not blame me under any circumstances. I have been highlighting, quoting and repeating ‘just joking’, for a reason.

I: Inner peace fuels your system, refill it as an obvious task to keep going

 How many of you believe in the power of inner mind?

 How many of you believe that your mind is the supplier of love, affection, happiness and peace?

 How many of you believe that peace can strengthen the mind and body to be in a good form always?

And lastly, how many of you believe that inner peace can take your life where it wants to be?

  Pardon me for bombarding you with these philosophical questions, right at the start of my post that rings the next letter ‘I’. But, asking these questions and forcing you to answer them right away will direct you towards the appropriate perspective. 

Answer 'NO': If each of these thoughts mean nothing but random creative ideas of a blogger, you can read along as just another article, only to forget it as soon as you complete doing so. 

Answer 'YES': But if you resonate with it in any way and consider them to be true, we can agree to contemplate together, reaching some beneficial conclusion till the end.

   Before I wave the green flag to my train of thoughts, it is essential to define my version of ‘inner peace’. Unlike ‘peace’ that depends over situations, circumstances, people and surroundings, inner peace does not need anything or anyone, except ‘you’ alone.

 It is the state of stability, silence, happiness and satisfaction which sprouts from within. It finds its roots in the deepest corner of your own heart, inspiring you to take the lead. 

"Inner peace is finding your purpose on this planet, figuring out what makes you happy and how do you achieve it." This does not translate to ‘selfishness’ or loneliness’ in any way, but it prompts you to love yourself, before you extend that branch to someone else.

    Despite difficult situations and challenges around you, inner peace forces you to think with a stable state. It is similar to a vial of energy booster that reaches the mind, instead of the body. While choosing mind over body, inner peace flexes the muscles that think, believe, trust and analyze.

 If inner peace is as useful as it sounds, how do we know we bagged it? And if it really fuels our system for beneficial output, how can we be assured of its presence?

    Ability to shut our mind from the chaos of outer world defines inner peace. If we are able to stay quiet even for few minutes, without worrying, analyzing, contemplating or fussing over whatever happens, we are at inner peace. While it may seem impossible to expect such a state of mind amidst the mountain of responsibilities, duties, targets and tasks, it is not so unless we make a sincere attempt. Like any other task that demands our efforts and time, inner peace needs it too. 

  We need to commit to the act of being peaceful, while connecting with the inner mind in whichever way we can. While outer chaos and challenges can disturb the stability of our system, inner peace prompts us to stay strong. It does not extend to problems alone, inner peace also caters to what and how people think about us. Human mind tends to judge people and situations within the limited capacity of their understanding. What people interpret and conclude over your course will not be useful, beneficial or true, yet absolutely unavoidable. 

    It is impossible to transform their thoughts or prove your point by defending at every possible opportunity. You may have a clarification over their doubts, but will it always reach at the right time, to the right person, in the right manner? Instead of justifying your stand on a stage to people who don’t really have anything at stake, take the opportunity to connect with your inner self. As long as you know the motive of doing some things in a certain way, the rest does not matter. Inner peace is what keeps you going, when everyone else attempts to disturb, bother or simply doubt you in every possible way.

     Thoughts mean nothing unless they are polished with a practical essence. If I continue preaching about the significance of inner peace, without offering some practical ways to do so, it can be discarded as just another advice, too good to be true. Read along as I offer my two cents over the guide to inner peace.

1.       Pick your exercise for inner peace

       Pre-requisites: 

ü  must be a solo act

ü  should involve minimum physical work

ü  should give you space to be lost in your world

ü  should not depend on others to accomplish the task

ü  should be chosen by yourself

ü  the final aim should be inner peace, hence do not pollute it with sense of achievement, laurels, credits, certificates or medals to show it off to others

Suggestions:  meditation, breathing exercises, listening to instrumental music, simply closing your eyes and staying silent

2.       Practice this same activity every day, at the same time and in the same way. Pick a practical duration (10-20 minutes). Stick to the schedule as much as you can. Allow concessions only for major change in circumstances.

3.       Do not evaluate or analyze whether the activity benefits you right away. Give it some time (2-3 months) to connect with your inner chords.

4.       Stay away from distractions. Everything around you can wait, while you are it.

5.       Shut out stray thoughts about family, people, work, surroundings and concentrate on the sole activity of being peaceful

     No matter how busy your schedule looks like or how significant your job/position/role/responsibility appears to be, each one must refill their system with inner peace for the obvious choice to live a fulfilled, happy and satisfied life. 10-20 long minutes of this peaceful activity may seem selfish, but it will indirectly improve your approach with the outer world. Remember the primary aim is not to prove it to others, but to work for yourself, on yourself and by yourself. As long as these fields are filled up, the rest does not matter.

Refill inner peace to keep going, after all how good can the engine be without any fuel to power it up!

         

P.S:  Though it may appear simple, usual and routine task, it is definitely not as easy as it sounds. Make an attempt and share your experiences as together we can do some good for ourselves. 

H: Here it is now; pause the chase and savor the moment, before you jump to the next ‘it’.

   When I first thought of framing this A-Z series, I was sure each letter would start with a noun. As it is meant to reflect a significant aspect of my life, it was obvious that only a noun could do the necessary justice. Hence using an adverb ‘Here’, instead of conventional words ‘Happiness’, ‘Honesty’ or ‘Hope’ for ‘H’ demanded lot of contemplation and reasoning. As I attempted to convince myself about an unusual word, I realized that it meant something worthy enough to go against all odds. Thus, the birth of this off-beat post with a novel start.

   Unless we come across any life changing experience, we refuse to adopt necessary corrections into our system. We may know about its need, benefits, value and glory, yet find it difficult to bring it within. Only when it presents a larger picture, do we realize the need to attend to it. One such close experience and life changes for good. If only we decide to find the hidden message behind circumstances, we can appreciate why it came to us in the first place.

   This brings us to the‘here’, ‘now’ and ‘it’. In the race against time, we always find ourselves in our running shoes. As we ascend one step at a time to the next rung on the ladder, we realize that the goal is still further away. While living our dream and meeting our targets, it is impossible to rest or give up. The good, better and best is always ‘yet to come’, making it essential to focus and concentrate.

    No matter how many deadlines you meet, there are always some more, waiting in the wing. By the time you experience a sense of satisfaction, you may be clouded by plans, ideas and strategies for the next one. This kind of engagement is absolutely essential. Unless we have goals to look forward to, we cannot extract the joy of living. Staying occupied with targets ensures hard work and happiness. It is what drives you to get out of a cozy warm bed on a cold morning. Without any aim or without any plan, we may be nothing but wanderers in a wide forest.

 But, is it essential to run behind things, without halting for a while to appreciate and celebrate?

Why are we so engrossed in planning about the future step, way before we savor the present?

Why does the next milestone seem so amazing, that we forget the joy of reaching the current one?

Why do we tend to think that our settled or retired life will be satisfying, when our present one could also be the same?

And why do we run to reach the next step, when we can stroll and appreciate every step on the way?

  Right from childhood, we are programmed to think about the future. It unknowingly shapes our thought process to imagine that the best is yet to come. There is definitely nothing wrong in harboring dreams for the grand life ahead, but not at the cost of forgetting to live today. When we reflect over the journey so far, we remember the memories and moments, than the struggle that brought us here. Instead of worrying about every future step for the fear of failing, why don’t we concentrate on the present?

   If you are one of those who always valued their present moment over the future and continue to do so, take a bow. Not everyone is programmed to live in the ‘here’ and ‘now’... at least I never was.

 For me, the future always appeared tempting, mysterious, huge and essential, taking away every possible bit of energy. Like a mirage that offers hope of water on a barren dessert, the ‘there’ and ‘then’ appeared more appealing. We tend to run behind that false water, forgetting to appreciate the scenery around. The ‘now’ may not be as you hoped, but it is something that is happening ‘live’. Those precious moments will not return back, if we waste them over analysis and strategies.

  The ‘it’ in title is different for each one. For some it may mean money, position, status, adventure, experiences, happiness or assets. It can be anything for anyone and none of it is right, wrong, correct or incorrect. But, what is incorrect is failing to pause, halt, appreciate and enjoy. Soak in the present moment, only then will your ‘today’ be as colorful as the most awaited next ‘holiday’. 

   No job is the ultimate one, no house is the final one or no lifestyle is the perfect one. We all desire for something more or different from the existing. It is good to stay so in order to progress ahead, but not unless you concentrate on enjoying the present. Your humble home now may not be as large/comfortable/desired as the one you have planned, but it still covers your head. Appreciate what lies ‘here’ and ‘now’, only then ‘there’ will be good too.

   What is the way to do so? Read along as I chart some pointers for my dreamy heart and restless mind. Share your take over the same, while I convince my life to be ‘here’ and ‘now’.

1.       Be present- physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and ‘thought’ lly

2.       Spend every single day as a unique project – accept the good, bad, wanted, unwanted and every single feeling with open mind

3.       Focus and concentrate on the task in hand

4.       Don’t live in your thoughts. Thinking is a task too, hence designate time to ‘think’, rather than running it as a background score, along every other job

5.       Communicate your thoughts

6.       Listening to others is also a task

7.       Respond when asked to, stay away from judgements and analysis

8.       Over thinking is totally unproductive, invest that energy in doing than dreaming

9.       Everything will fall in place, but not the current moment, it demands your attention and focus

10.   No task is small, hence respect everything you do and give your 100%

11.   Some things can wait, hence pause your chase to celebrate, appreciate, love and laugh

12.   You cannot wipe out your past errors, mistakes, misunderstandings or worries, then why regret? Let it go, make sure to avoid a repeat telecast.

13.   Take lessons to be happy. Though the easiest task within our reach, we fail to learn and practice it. Make it a priority to be happy, schedule it in your task-list. Make it your own, before you feel alien, unusual, unbelievable or weird to be happy.

 This is the location and now is the time to do what you always wanted. Future is bright but not unless you switch on the light in the present. Spread smiles, laugh more, radiate happiness and feel the difference, because that is all you can do here and now!