The ‘alive’ moments of life

      

    If you will go with the literal sense of this blog title, you may wonder if it has any meaning at all. Life is nothing but being alive and hence every moment of it is about ‘living’. Then how can I designate some moments under the ‘alive’ category. If each and every moment of our life journey is to be lived, is it possible to say we were ‘alive’ only during some of them? While few may argue that being alive is breathing air to sustain our birth on earth, I will definitely beg to differ.

      There is more to our life than taking in and throwing out air. As weird as it sounds, isn’t it the most accepted and assumed definition of ‘being alive’? Hence this blog post is designed to look at those special moments which go beyond the traditional mannerism of life. Moments which inspire us, moments that add happiness, moments that are out of the world, moments that make you realize that life is indeed beautiful. Away from the usual troubles, struggles, stress and worries, some special moments reinstate our belief in eternal happiness. If I am successful in putting forth my point so far, you will realize that I am talking about those ‘Aha’ moments.

   Each one of us encounter such phenomenal and unique experiences to fill our life with happiness and love. Whether it is traveling or listening to your favorite song, admiring the beauty of nature or simply dreaming with open eyes, life presents several such opportunities where you are thankful to be alive. You realize that life is indeed wonderful with its unbelievable stock of surprises. Such moments bring you closer to the joy of living. It is impossible to expect such moments along the routine trail of life. Or rather these moments are meant to be different; hence they should be unique in their own way. Specialty of such ‘alive’ moments lies in their uniqueness which do not enter into our lives easily. Only certain happy times inspire us to appreciate this birth.

     It is essential to recognize these alive moments to make the most of life. It can motivate us to look around for happiness rather than focusing over our mountain of troubles. It is rightly said that life as a whole is the greatest teacher one can ever have. Our journey teaches us several valuable lessons through the mode of experiences. Hence one such experience along my life journey has inspired me to create such moments along the way. Once cannot plan them in advance or gather fixed number in their stock to fill accomplished. The trick is to experience many such moments along the way and feel ‘alive’. Another significant aspect about these moments is ‘customization’. What appeals to you or qualifies as your happening time may not be the same for someone else. Hence hunt for your unique bag of happy moments and rejoice as you see the number increase.

    Think about your ‘Aha’ moments and pen them down. You may choose to keep it as your secret list or share it in the comment section. But either ways, I would love to know at least one of your alive moments. Now, time for my list that can inspire you to follow suit.

  Some of these moments may resonate with you and give you equal amount of happiness. While few others may not relate to you in any way. But as said, the trick lies in its uniqueness and customization.

   Here are my special moments when I am truly ‘alive’. Hunt for yours after all life is about being ‘alive’, isn’t it?

I am ‘alive’ when:

1.       ……my little nephew recognizes me during our video chat sessions and calls me ‘moushi’ (his word for maternal aunt)

2.        …. I savor first bite of food cooked by mom

3.       …. I listen to favorite parts of my favorite songs

4.       ….my written words make me satisfied and contended

5.       …. I admire waves of the beach

6.       …. The clouds, rainbow, sun and sky seem to smile at me

7.       ….calm look of water manages to calm me

8.       ….  a comedy show or movie delivers a perfect joke

9.       ….lyrics of a song seem to relate with my situation perfectly

10.   ….my prepared meals turn out exactly as I wish them to be

11.   …..I take first bite on a hungry stomach

12.   …. I read parts of a book that feel amazing

13.   ….I come across an inspirational quote that leaves me mesmerized

14.   ….a singer creates wonders with his/her notes

15.   ….. my husband cracks a joke that strikes a perfect chord (which is rare!)

16.   …..my elder sister starts the video call (excitement is to see my nephew. Dear sister, it’s not for you, just to clarify :)

17.   ….I see byline of my articles

18.   …..I find shade under scorching sun

19.   … I experience warmth of home after being out for long

Go ahead and enlist your moments. Let’s be alive now, you can always 'live’ later.  

Responsibility or opportunity? What is your take?

  

There is no doubt in the obvious fact that we look around for answers only when presented with questions.  During one such questionnaire with my mind, I was successful in stumbling upon my next blog title. Let me get straight to the question before I release my chain of thoughts. When I say responsibility or opportunity, my reference is towards the journey called ‘LIFE’.

Do you look at life as a ‘responsibility’ or an ‘opportunity’?

Should we follow our life as per instructions from an undocumented journal or should we customize it and enjoy the chance to ‘live’?

Is it your duty to live or is it an opportunity to explore?

Are you burdened under the task to live successfully or do you look forward to every moment it offers?

Let me stop my string of questions before you blame me for asking too much! 

   Having said this, I would appreciate if you could invest some thoughts on my questions and come up with your take over it. Till then, let me add my two cents over the subject as that is what bloggers do. Write, talk, write and talk again!

    My opinion tends to incline towards ‘opportunity’ as life is all about chances, efforts, dreams, hopes and happiness. Though each one of us have numerous responsibilities along the entire course of this birth, it does not mean we look at life as a ‘huge’ responsibility. It is just one part of our living, yet we are not burdened under some strict course. If we look at life as responsibility, we may lose the entire essence of enjoying it. Responsibility may bring limitations and restrictions. But opportunity stands for limitless possibilities. There is nothing in this world that can stop you from achieving your dreams, if you consider life as one big opportunity. It is within your hands to make, break, decorate or destroy. After all, life is one big ocean with expandable horizon.

 In order to enjoy life, it is essential to embrace freedom and work on customization. It is important to find out what appeals to our mind and walk along its course. Following a journal of pre-determined rules is not living. At the same time, forgetting our humanity is not living too. We have to take care of our worldly responsibilities at every stage of life, yet it is inappropriate to blame it for staying away from fun. It is possible to ascend the ladder of life, while enjoying every step in a personalized way.

   You must be wondering about the need to ponder about such a question. While fulfilling our responsibility to ‘live’, we tend to forget about the fun behind it. Routine course of our journey rarely gives us a chance to introspect and think. That is when blog posts like these force you to think. Rather than moving along with the herd, take time to figure out your course. Find out what opportunities await you. Grab the chance to live life your way, before it pulls you into its own way. We do not have control over situations and circumstances, yet we definitely have a control on our reactions to it.

   Moving over to the last phase of this blog, let me give you a feel of what life feels like as a ‘responsibility’ and as an ‘opportunity’. This may assist you, while you hunt for your answers.

Responsibility:

-          Monotonous

-          Safe

-          Pre-determined

-          Tried and tested formula

-          Boring

-          Tiresome

-          Overwhelming

Opportunity:

-          Challenging

-          Unique

-          Fun

-          Exciting

-          Experimental

-          Risky

-          Joyful

-          Satisfactory

  I am sure many of you may argue that it is not possible to categorize life into fixed teams. Yet, it is possible to give more weight-age to one over the other. Such demarcation can influence your journey, reminding you to live and not just survive. Responsibility is more about surviving as a human, while opportunity is about enjoying the pleasure of ‘being human’.

Make the most of this life as it is nothing less than a gift to treasure forever.

P.S: Your answers are awaited. It can be just a word if not an explanation, but it will really help to know what others think! 

The take- away message

     

     It is rightly said that your loved ones form the best critics, hence my husband’s critical remarks over my blog posts do not come as a surprise. A person who insisted that I should be positive in this battle, he forced me to look beyond the sad experiences. Instead of sharing the traumatic part of this story, his suggestion was to use the opportunity and share something valuable for the world to follow. “Write about what you learned from the experience rather than what the experience felt like” were his exact words that gave way to this blog title. While trying to make sense of the entire diagnosis and treatment so far, I am excited to share my take-away message with you all. Even if it inspires a single reader or motivates someone to draw sense out of their own story, it will be worth it.

    You learn to appreciate the positive aspects of any experience only when uncertainty blinds you. This is exactly what life chose to teach me as I value every single moment with open arms today. Life does not happen when we make plans about the future and craft dreams in our minds, it happens when situations and circumstances decide to play their game in the present. That is when you learn to live to the fullest as every single moment matters. I cannot endorse living in the present for others, but I can definitely share my life changing experience that deals with one day at a time.

      As my frame of reference shifts from one day to the next, I have realized true essence of the present. No wonder I feel that the saying ‘add life to your years and not years to your life’ must have been made especially for me as there is no better expression to convey my thought. I am sure I would not have thought about this if life continued on the same track as before. Just when you start taking things for granted, this beautiful gift called life chooses to shake you with an aim to appreciate its value every single day.

   It is often believed that a life-threatening condition puts a pause button to the course of journey. But, I can definitely stand strong against every single word of this popular belief as I feel it activates the ‘ON’ button. As you realize the value of every single day, it is difficult to ignore its presence or deny its significance. I have lived more after the start of this ‘C’ episode than what I would have otherwise. It is all about pumping more life into everything.

  With this, let me share my take-away message from the experience so far. I cannot claim that my lymphoma has turned me into a philosopher, but I can definitely declare that it has given me some strength to inspire someone somewhere, one way or the other.

1.       Happiness is in the present. It is here with you right now. Happiness is not something that you should postpone for tomorrow or wait for the right opportunity. It is with you to experience it along the way.

(Happiness is reading my blog right now! Why should I lose the opportunity to promote my work and take credit? …. after all make hay while the sun shines!)

2.       Fear is nothing but product of your baseless thought process. You give birth to it without any meaning or purpose. It is created as a result of living in your thoughts or imagining about the future. If you occupy yourself with the task in hand, you will realize there is no room for this fear or worry.

3.       Do not take anything for granted. Be it relationship, work, experience, adventure, asset or your surroundings. Take a moment to appreciate what you have and express your love from time to time.

4.       Make memories, gather experiences, travel, create stories, capture moments and take photographs. Do not live like a machine or limit yourself within typical specifications of a so-called ‘ideal’ or ‘perfect’ life.

5.       Learn something new or engage yourself in some fun activities. Take risks. Do something you have never done before. There is no harm in failing or embarrassment in trying something new.

6.       Accept everything that comes your way. There is a reason why it happens. Do not waste your time in trying to figure out ‘why’ it happened. You may never reach a satisfactory answer. Instead spend time in learning from what happened. It will definitely stay with you forever.

7.        Spend some quality time with yourself. As much as you like to be with your family and friends, it is equally important to talk to yourself. Engage in some positive activities and listen to your thoughts.

8.       Learn to forgive and forget. You may disagree with your loved ones or get angry with their conduct, but their love is definitely larger than these little misunderstandings which shall melt away with time.

I agree it is easy to preach but difficult to follow. Yet, listing out this take-away message is my first step towards following it. Do share your views or add your thoughts to this list. Together we can inspire one another to spread happiness all around. 

Sorry, Thank you and everything in between

     

  

     I have heard humor is an essential part of the ‘C’ treatment to be able to laugh at all the uncertainties that follow. And I can definitely vouch for the fact that it is true. No wonder the term ‘chemo brain’ really means something as we experience roller coaster of feelings all at once. At one moment you can see me complaining that no one talks to me only to instantly avoid the next call that I receive. All my friends and relatives can relate to this craziness as all of a sudden I turn from a philosopher to a child to a teacher to a simpleton and finally to the crazy human that I always was.

  

     I do not want to encourage or promote the craziness of this so-called ‘chemo’ brain, yet I believe it turns out to be beyond my reach. If I could convince it to focus on the problem alone rather than spread its influence all around, I would definitely be a ‘super-hero’. So, with this thought in mind, I realized what better way to convey my gratitude and apologizes to each one of you than write a long blog post. Hence, the title…. “I am sorry”, “I am thankful” and “I am….” Well, read on to find more….

    This kind of experience suddenly puts one into a hot-spot as there is undivided attention from all quarters. I am guilty of using it as a shield on more occasions than one as I end up blaming it for everything that goes wrong. The pressure to be cordial and society friendly has diminished to invisible proportions as I take this situation as the bait. While I rejoice under the banner that I cannot be blamed for anything, my parents and husband ensure that I come back to the original form. The insistence to be normal is so strong that my father has challenged me to be absolutely sane even during the treatment days. Well, the challenge is accepted but the outcome is yet to be determined.

     The need to apologize stems from the fact that my family (both near and long distance), friends and well-wishers must be thoroughly confused with my approach. Suddenly, I talk so much as if nothing has changed and suddenly I stay quiet for hours on end. But even this silence has a silver lining. How else would my husband and parents master themselves in the game of dumb-charades, while I explain them the contents on the grocery list or just talk about what we did last weekend?

   There is no doubt in the fact that I am an introvert and being an amateur writer I can easily relate to it. But who knew my monster friend would take me to a higher level on the introvert scale (if there was such a thing to measure it!) The reason for such kind of analysis is to explain the silence of my chemo brain. Besides turning me into an introvert, this chemo brain has definitely increased my affection towards the written word. 

  

   My close friends will completely agree to my inclination towards written chats over voice calls. From congratulating my best friend for finding his life partner to discussing troubles about weather, from asking about latest movies to seeking much needed motivation to stay positive, everything happens over the letters on the keypad. Big thanks to my little nephew for his stock of indecipherable childish speeches and poems on video chats and his parents to bear his loud noise, while we do so late at night!

      For these reasons, it was essential to reach out to my people and thank them for everything. I am sure even my doctor will be convinced about my funny behavior when I am more interested in this travel stories than about my health updates. And when I have a partner-in-crime to join me for the adventure, there is no reason to stay quiet. My husband turned philosopher provides balance to this craziness with a desire to keep his wife sane!

     With this, I hope my apology and gratitude are in order to appreciate each one of you in this journey. There is nothing pleasant about this route but there is nothing to cry about. Thank you for being there and sorry for acting unusual though it may seem absolutely normal! I cannot comment on the future path but I can definitely talk about where I stand today, hence do not forget to bear with me as I walk over this path full of surprises.

Thank you for your prayers and positivity….

Thank you for accepting my flaws as part of the chemo parcel…

Thank you for switching the mood from serious talks to funny conversations just the way I need it….

Thank you for your love and smiles…

Is this my ‘wake-up' call?

   

      I cannot claim to be a superwoman and state that the diagnosis did not shake me or I cannot declare that everything was sailing smoothly in a magical way. I had my share of “Why me?” questions or “God is annoyed with me” statements while struggling to make peace with the news. But, I always believe that looking back at the journey does not change the experience in any way so this blog post is not about moving behind but focusing ahead. Rather, it is about focusing on the present moment because that is all I can claim to be mine.

     So with this, as I started a new journey under a different light, I was sure to make the most of it in a positive way. Dark moments are just as natural as light moments. I cannot eliminate them completely from my path, but I can certainly control my actions and reactions over them.

    This brings us to the title. We often take life for granted because it is bestowed upon us as a free gift. Slowly and steadily, as we struggle over its path with a hope to find our destination, we experience the true meaning of life. With this experience I have realized that life is meant to be enjoyed and experienced, one moment at a time.

      We plan too much into the future without having the slightest idea of what lies ahead or we live in the past wondering about what went wrong or cursing our fate in every possible way. I am not sure if I can include you all in the above accusation, but I am definitely guilty to the core. Jumping into the future or sticking to the past was my way of dealing with the current situation in the present, spreading unnecessary fears and worries along my way.

      It is only after life gives you a major reason when you choose to think, contemplate, analyze and draw sense out of something that was never thought about. Hence, instead of looking at it as a diseased condition or life-threatening situation, I choose to look at it as my very own personalized ‘wake-up’ alarm. A wake-up call that has woken my up to live life the way it is meant to be. I am certainly sure it has forced me to value every single moment of my life journey.  It does not mean that I have mastered the art of living, but it definitely means there is positive transformation one way or the other.

The ‘C’ card:

      Few months into the treatment pushed me towards playing the ‘C’ card as my perfect sympathetic move. From demanding outside food whenever and wherever to being lazy at home about any task, from justifying my mismanagement to being selfish about everything, I was comfortably satisfied in the ‘C’ zone. Just when I felt it was absolutely ‘right’ to do so, my four primary care-givers pulled me out at the right time – two who gave me birth, one who ‘acts’ as if she gave me birth and one who has promised to celebrate that birth year after year.

  The ‘amazing’ parents: I do not know how they do it but according to them, every situation is manageable. They refused to look at me with pity or let me cry in vain. In my father’s words “Agreed you have 6 bad days in a month, but what about the remaining 24 normal ones?” or in my mother’s words “Who said you are any different now?” Such words soak away any traces of sympathy and leave me astonished at their positivity and strength.

The ‘dashing’ sister: A girl who started ‘mothering’ me (if that is a word!) when she was only ‘3’, her words “You are strong, you have become more strong” makes me wonder where did she find this strength in me?

The ‘know-it-all’ husband: Two statements from my husband have proved that my condition has truly made him a ‘philosopher’! For me it was a wake-up call, but for him it was nothing less than a ‘career changing’ opportunity as I joke around about his capability to be a ‘doctor’ or a ‘philosopher’, just in case he is bored of being an ‘engineer’.

At numerous occasions when he wipes my tears rather agitated and irritated, his quote “If you do not fight for what you want, do not cry for what you lose” or “Consider your health condition as a ‘bowl’, whether you beg around with it or whether you choose to add some ingredients into it and feed yourself, the choice is yours.”

   Besides this, my numerous relatives and friends have prompted me to look at the positive side. Each one of them have refused to treat me any different, making me believe that nothing has changed. I am sorry I will not be able to write about each one of you individually or else the exceptional long length of my post will drive you away.

So, thank you dear ‘wake-up’ call, I am finally awake now. 

  

    

The ‘therapy’ express

   

    After I promised to follow up the lymphoma post with some of my experiences, I felt it was the right time to do so. But a short cautionary warning before I start. This post is not to make you cry, emotional, sensitive or alienated. Besides, since I have decided to look at the brighter side of everything, rest assured there are no sad or gloomy details- only happy, funny, silly and fun-filled encounters. After all, this entire episode is nothing less than a soap opera of experiences.

     There are mix of happy and sad days, where you can see the actress and villain in me. If you don’t believe- simply ask my husband and parents at home or sister, in-laws and friends from a long distance who know exactly what to expect. One look at the calendar and my engineer turned half-doctor husband can tell you precisely what’s going on! While I would love to defeat him at this guessing game, unfortunately he emerges victorious, every single time.

    Firstly, never in my life have I heard the words ‘strong’ and ‘will-power’ so many times before, as today my collection is filled with these expressions. Secondly, to break the invisible ice between us, I would love to communicate with each one of you, just the way I did before. Nothing has changed that could lead to awkwardness or confusion between us. I am still the same and so is my condition to communicate. As I have decided to live in the present, the uncertainty of my health cannot change the picture at all. Speak to me the way you were doing before. No amount of ‘C’ or ‘L’ can take this silly self-proclaimed ‘writer’ from you ;)

   Thirdly, I would also like to apologize if I am not the same cheerful self every single day. As much as I would enjoy communication from your end, I understand I should also be vocal at the same time. But, sometimes silence pushes me into a silence zone that is incorrect in every way. So, grab the opportunity to poke me and do not hesitate to start the ringer mode on my phone!

   Unknowingly, I end up crossing the thin line between sympathy and reality. Instead of working hard or walking towards my goals, I sometimes cover myself under the shield of sympathy which is totally incorrect. Thanks to my chemo brain, I have enrolled myself into an imaginary ‘C’ club that searches for reasons to be pitied and claims that no one gets me. If it wasn’t for shouting and kicks from my parents, I would enjoy this sympathy for a long time and avoid being ‘normal’.

   Since you all are in this journey with me, I would love to share that my doctor appreciated my form of expression using ‘words’. After reading my first post, he encouraged me to channel my energy in this way, as it would benefit him with a happy patient too. So, you all will have to bear with my posts!

    While summing up, I would like to share the happy and funny experiences of my journey so far.

1.       I am sure our internet service provider is the happiest right now, as I have been streaming movies, television series, Netflix and You-tube in a loop. Having said that, I will love to have some suggestions from your end too because I was literally tempted to watch ‘Prem Ratan Dhan Payo’ at one point of time! I hope now you realize the seriousness to help me with some valuable suggestions.

2.       I am happy to make use of every present moment with a happy heart. I did not know sitting on lawn, going for long drives or taking a shower were such happy affairs before. I never appreciated the sight of trees, sunset, sunrise or long empty roads the way I do it today.

3.       Sorry dear husband, but I must confess my extra marital love affair with food! On my happy days, all I can do is dream, think, talk, read, make or eat. Relishing and savoring every bite is so fun-filled. I am sure my closed ones will be raising their eyebrows with shock as I was never a foodie before.

4.       While I always loved comedy movies, serials and books, this phase has brought me closer to it. Comedy can fill my cells with laughter, offering one less trouble to worry about.

5.       Husband turned doctor- this is another interesting development in my life as my better half is busy with internet gained facts to make me healthy and hearty with valuable knowledge from all over the world. I am sure his parents will be glad to know that their fees of an engineer made him a doctor too! Besides, it provides entertainment to my real doctor as he patiently listens to his ideas of alternative therapy.

These are some experiences that are funny, mindless and silly to make this rocky journey a bit smooth. There are many more to add in the future as I savor every moment with a happy heart. Till then, do not forget to live in the present, smile a little more, laugh at your troubles and enjoy whatever you have today. If nothing else, at least this trouble can make me a preacher J

   P.S: For a self-confessed introvert, written words are the only way to thank you all.

  Big hug, love and kisses to:

1.       Parents: For being there to wipe my tears and treating me as normal as possible.

2.       Sister, nephew, and brother-in-law: For being strong support though miles away from me. But bro-in-law chef: where is my delicious food? And dear nephew: you better practice the word ‘moushi’ 20 times a day. Sister: I am not thanking you for anything ;)

3.       Husband: For each and everything from Day 1, I simply can’t write it!

4.       Relatives and friends: For all your support, well-wishes and prayers.

     

Do you have your remote control?

 "Yes, of course, how else will we change the channels on television?” I am sure this will be your first reflex response over such an unusual question. But, trust my blog posts to be different as I am hinting at something else. It is not your television remote that listens to your commands and flips channels as per your desire (only if you are lucky enough to be the TV in-charge at home!) This remote control in question handles your emotions, feelings, responses and experiences. It takes charge of how you feel and respond over opinions. It determines your response to criticism.

  Human nature is known for its inclination towards opinions. Each one of us have some say over everything that goes around us. There is no harm in expressing our thoughts over things, but it is harmful to react in an inappropriate way. Just because your well-wishers refuse to appreciate your talent or your social circle criticizes your work with difficult words, it does not mean you drown in it forever and refuse to take control. The remote control to react to their opinions lies in our hands. Instead of drawing offense and mistrusting ourselves over bad fate, it is essential to act over it. You may disagree with their opinions, but there is no need to hold it close to yourself, while spoiling your next attempt.

   How people feel about you is not under your control. Whether they praise you with false words to misguide or taunt with hurtful words to demotivate, none of it will matter if you know how to react. It is their opinion that has nothing to do with you. It does not mean I am talking about building a wall around your ears. It is always essential to listen to people and their advice. But, how you choose to inculcate it in your life is totally your call. 

     Often, we are soaked in sorrow when people lace their words with anger, negativity, judgments or misunderstandings. At such times, it is important to realize that we are the receiver of their words. How we deal with their judgments is completely our decision as far as we know its impact. If we can analyze their motive, it is possible to transform their opinions into valuable pieces for our own good. Instead of crying over their mistreatment, we can use their judgement as improvement pointers for our benefit.

  Just as we use a remote control to mute, change, switch off or switch on as per our desire, we can tune our responses in the same way. We should be able to chalk our inner circle of influence. Switch on when our closed ones offer their valuable advice and switch off when people trouble us with their unhealthy motives. Not every piece of information directed towards us is going to benefit. Hence, we should know when to use them for our good.

  We often invest more energy in defending our choices, justifying our beliefs or proving our worth. But we fail to realize that as long as we do things for our own happiness, there is no need to please every life form on earth. No matter how good you work or what great acts you do, someone somewhere will always have a better way of doing it. This does not turn you into a failure or the other option into success, it simply means each one is entitled to their own opinion. Being in a defense mode unknowingly turns into a habit that refuses to leave our side. It diverts our efforts from productive work. If all your life you will defend, judge, analyze and respond to criticism, when are you going to act?

    This post was inspired by two sources. One is by the way people reacted over Snapchat CEO’s opinion based on nothing but his own two cents about our country. The credit of the second source goes to my husband for showing me an inspirational video over the said topic. It closely relates to me in various ways as I was always influenced by opinions. Without weighing their significance in my life, I would jump at the first opportunity to defend and prove my choices, only to realize that things may not be designed as per my way. But, the remote control to our reactions is definitely sitting on our couch, waiting to be surfed over and over again.

So, next time you are irritated, angry, hurt or disappointed, recognize the source of your negativity and change the channel immediately.

This remote works over several channels such as:

-          criticism

-          incorrect judgments

-          misunderstandings

-          accusations

-          incorrect allegations

-          false judgments

-          revenges

-          hurtful taunts

Make sure you use this remote control well to bring positivity and happiness into your lives. Do not lose this important control after all it features the channels of your dear life!

      

Are you flexible enough?

   

     In the wake of new trend of gyms and physical fitness, you may assume this post will talk about your fitness regime. Or it will be about little kids and adults who dance flexibly on various reality shows. Or it will be about various sports and flexible activities that ensure you stay strong and active all lifelong. 

   

    Do not worry, there is enough awareness and buzz about physical fitness around you; there is no need that my blogs should venture into that space. I shall save you from additional doses of age-old information on fitness or modern styles to achieve it. Then what do I mean when I question about flexibility? If I am not targeting physical flexibility, what am I hinting at?

    Well, the idea behind this blog is to ponder about flexibility of our mind. Again the question arises, what does it mean? As bizarre as it sounds, can your mind be flexible? Think about it for a short while and answer it yourself, before you listen to my long chain of thoughts. (after all, you have no other option!) 

      On a serious note, when I first thought about it, my idea moved towards the concept of ‘adaptability’. We all have heard about ‘adaptation’ in our primary school lessons which talk about changes and adjustments made by living things to survive in a given environment in a successful way. While that form of adaption was inclined towards biological features and activities for survival, I wanted to explore adaptability of mind.

   Since childhood, we all are programmed to live in a certain way. As we ascend the ladder of life, we learn various aspects in a step wise manner. Parents and teachers play an instrumental role as they help us in building a strong foundation for the future. They teach us about acceptable form of behavior and introduce us to the world of good manners. Slowly and steadily, as we grow along the way, we become matured enough to put these theoretical lessons into practical assignments. We deal with wide range of people and react accordingly to survive within a competitive platform. 

    Though we have a strong system of thoughts and values in place, we must be able to display flexibility to move ahead with the latest trend. Holding our traditional values is essential, but marching ahead with modern thoughts is equally important too. It does not mean, we compromise our beliefs, but it also does not mean we stay away from an opportunity under the disguise of our ‘age-old’ customs.

  There is a thin line behind compromising our values and accepting modern trends

     Understanding this can lead to prosperity. With changing times, it is necessary to change certain aspects of our lifestyle, but definitely not at the cost of hurting our values and sentiments. Being flexible is opening doors to new progressive ideas without pushing away the good old ones. Flexibility is an open minded approach towards positive changes. 

     It is knowing what is good, what is bad and what is avoidable under the manner of ‘being modern’. Just because you want to fit into the society and be flexible, you cannot do so at the cost of making major life alterations.

     Experiments and experiences reflect the concept of adaptability in our routine life. There is no harm in trying out a new cuisine or wearing a new outfit that you may never have thought before. Grandparents who try out burgers and noodles look cutest as they participate in new trends for the love of grand-kids. Or parents who try out modern outfits after being forced by their kids look amazing with shying smiles. Elders with smartphones and social media apps appear cute in a tech savvy way as they want to be one with the wide global world. These examples are picked up from my own set of people as my family is flexible enough to try out various things.

    Breaking stereotypical attitude is extremely essential to ensure progress and development. Just because certain things were followed by our ancestors does not mean they were foolproof in every way. How else would you explain the progress made by women in today’s world or justify the trend of global progress? If we were confined to our houses to follow the age-old practices or if we refused to change our traditional food habits; would it be possible to achieve happiness in today’s setup? Flexibility with changing times ensures the joy of living in the present.

    This concept of adaptability is all about understanding what is essential and beneficial for us in a balanced manner along the contemporary period. Extreme rigidity is detrimental to progress, while extreme flexibility may show signs of instability. If we understand these ideas for our own good, we can sow those seeds for children of tomorrow. 

 Though I have come to the end of this post, I am tempted to share the root idea behind this article. While listening to an enthusiastic grandfather on a television show, I was amazed as he spoke about his first foreign trip and various preparations done by his family. It made me realize the value of flexibility as we all must try out something new.

  Think about your own experiences and share your comments here. It is fun to be a sport sometimes. Break free and be flexible, after all life is all about experiments and experiences! Capture yourself with something trendy and preserve these memories for your kids and grand-kids down the line.

P.S: Try this concept of flexibility at your own risk. I am not responsible if your family members refuse to identify you in your new trendy ‘avatar’ or demand exotic fast food every single day!! 

The battle is real….so is the struggle

    No, this isn’t a battle of genders in light of growing feminism. It is not a battle between relations, lifestyle, present, future, innovation or principles. It is my own battle against a tiny little monster who chose to enter into our lives in a rather unexpected way. It is said when everything goes smoothly, we may start taking life for granted. One big blow and you realize there is more to life than sailing on safe waters. 

   

    When everything seems to be going as per plan, life has something unusual to offer. And that is exactly what seems to be on my cards, when those unwanted words hit my ears. For a science graduate into words and knowledge, confirmed diagnosis from the doctor was all I needed to initiate my battle. A battle with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a battle with cells of my own body who chose to misbehave, this post is my way to express everything settled deep within.

      Two months into the treatment and still a long way to go, my idea of penning such a blog was to express what I felt so far. The idea is not to garner any form of sympathy or hope for miracles to work, the idea was to speak my heart out through a form that has been my best friend all this while. Even amidst all the uncertainties and chaos in our routine lives, one thing remained the same always and that had to be my love for words. This entire phase of close to six months so far has been nothing less than an undesirable dream, yet it has taught me so many things about life.

   I have never been more close to the thought ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’, as I started approaching positivity and happiness with open arms. I realized there is more to life than postponing the joy of present. As I savor every single moment with a true heart, I understand the need to live one day at a time. Supportive family, amazing doctor, caring staff and team of wonderful friends is all I can ask for as every single member has been instrumental in keeping me happy and happening. 

   Experiences like these make you strong and urge you to find the spark from deep within. I shall not complain over my destiny or cry over my story. There is no one to validate my end of experiences and change the output on the basis of my previous deeds. All I have is one life to make it all right. It has made me look into precious aspects such as present happiness as that seems to be permanent. Every single day is a new story in itself as I encounter diverse moments. It unfolds as a bag full of surprises and returns back to its usual clock for a next day in succession.

   Today, as I look at the journey so far or ponder about the path ahead, I have urged myself to focus on the good aspects and one such good aspect that has steamed from it is ‘stay away from future.’ For a mind that always pouched at the first opportunity to run away from the present and dream about the future, this habit has made me value the current moment that I live in. It has made me focus on what I should do today rather than plan about tomorrow that is uncertain and hidden in its own way.

    I do not want this experience to change any relations with my set of people or alienate them in any way. I only wish to pump more energy, love, emotions and warmth in every experience that I encounter along the way. Medicines will do their wonders, while thoughts and prayers will do theirs. It has opened my eyes to the true meaning of life. While I am sure this experience will not transform me into a flawless individual, it will definitely change my perspective towards it in a huge way.

     While I continue this battle with a long struggle that follows, there is so much more to explore, experience, enjoy and encounter. Positive and healthy thoughts are all I need to continue the battle. A battle to emerge victorious over the dark clouds of that dreaded ‘C’.

P.S: Though I conclude this post, there is so much more I wanted to write about but words seem to fall short. I shall definitely follow up this post with more experiences along the way. Till then live in the present and spread love, smiles and laughter!

They came, they saw, they conquered…

 …..and left us with loads of memories for many more years to come.  Wondering who are ‘they’? What am I referring to as I appreciate their presence? Well, this ‘they’ stands for my family who visited us in the US of A. As my sister, brother-in-law and little nephew made their debut appearance in our home away from home, every single moment was precious to the core. While their version of story will describe the experiences and adventures in a foreign land, my version shall talk about the happiness of spending time with them. Suddenly as me and husband switched roles from being NRIs to local folks for their guided tours, this stay blessed us with varied experiences and interesting memories.

     From converting our ‘some-what’ bachelor pad to a child-proof apartment, from hunting for a child car seat to watching videos to fix it well, from planning trips to managing time, as we geared for their arrival, we realized that the preparation was much longer than their actual stay.

     With a cute toddler of 22 months and loads of luggage, as my sister and brother-in-law crossed the Pacific Ocean in a long air voyage, their efforts, patience and courage definitely deserve recognition. Writing a blog to their name will be my little way to thank them for such an exciting experience as it gave us the happy opportunity to be ‘the hosts’. While it will be unacceptable to call ourselves as the best hosts, I hope my sister will get into action soon to praise us well! As I look at their stay as one long enjoyable dream, I feel it lasted only for a few hours.

     Memories of their preparation are more loud and clear as we exchanged messages about what to bring, what to plan and what to expect. Soon as their arrival day approached and the fun started, it was time to bid them good-bye! This short stay of few weeks was exciting to show them our side of life in a foreign land. Every single moment was loaded with facts, information and data as there was so much to share. Presenting the happy, sad, memorable, not-so memorable and difficult shades of life in a different country seemed to flow as a movie, as we kept them occupied all the while.

Confession:  This post may tend to get too personalized, but I promise to stay away from such a temptation!

The cutie pie: Coming to the little toddler who was the hero of the entire event, I believe his glory will demand a separate post! While we always wondered about what must be going on in his mind, our curiosity was directed towards does he realize that he is almost 8000 miles on the other end of the globe? His excitement of watching airplanes from land was totally evident, but does he realize he too sat in one such plane, up above the ground?

    While he is too small to understand any of these things, we enjoyed every single bit with him. From enjoying free rides on his stroller to see the world around to sitting in a special seat inside the car, from exploring the toy section in every mall to enjoying home cooked and outside meals whenever and wherever he wished, the little guest was undoubtedly the king of the trip. His enthusiasm, support, smiles and interest added life to the entire experience as he joined his parents in the adventure. His unique language, broken words, mischievous acts and cute demands shall stay alive in our house as he added life to our apartment walls and floor.

The elder hero: No wonder my nephew is a cutie pie as he grabs his looks from a handsome father (and yes, a beautiful mother!) An enthusiastic member who showed interest in every single adventure that we planned, my brother-in-law brought energy to the trip. Be it trying out novel cuisines or making delicious food for us, he was the culinary star of the tour. Our appetite and taste buds will definitely miss him a lot as he introduced us to some amazing new dishes. After leaving my sister and brother-in-law inside Walmart for some peaceful shopping, the outcome was delicious dinner for several days in a row!

The gorgeous queen: I cannot dare to finish this post without talking about my sister who was the gorgeous care-giver of the entire experience. From planning meals for the little kid to organizing travel bags for our short trips, from making home-made meals as we demanded to taking care of every member, my sister was the backbone of such an interesting experience. The credit for successful accomplishment of a long journey with a little fellow in hand goes to my sister as she planned every bit to detail. With enthusiastic eyes and excited mind as she explored all the places and experiences with us, it was amazing to feel the energy.

   As these memorable days came to an end quickly, we truly enjoyed it to the last bit. While it was impossible to prolong the happiness, we are only left behind with valuable memories to cherish for a lifetime. It is during such times when you realize – wealth, ambition, career or assets will never be able to replace the joy of spending valuable moments with loved ones!

  Till we create more such memories, I wish each one of you also create several memorable moments to last a lifetime!

P.S: Dear Sister and Bro-in-law, you should be grateful that I did not reveal any deep secrets about your excessive shopping! Well, you are welcome!