K: ‘Keep’– the center of all actions, the core of all conditions, the lighthouse of inspiration, the navigator of life

    If you look at the literal meaning of ‘keep’, it stands for two things - possession and retention of a specific condition. While my idea is to focus on the latter, ‘keep’ makes a lot of sense by influencing our actions. Whether it is ‘keep smiling’ to stay happy or ‘keep doing’ to achieve something, ‘keep it simple’ to be contented with simplicity or ‘keep going’ to stay on track towards the goal, the word ‘keep’ stands for many significant things in our journey. 

  Though I was tempted to use ‘K for knowledge’ or ‘K for kindness’, I rather voted for ‘keep’, realizing its real-life practical worth. As this A-Z series is designed to reflect on a significant aspect of my life along every single letter, it only justified the need to pick a motivational action over some well-known nouns.

  We often hear ‘keep smiling’, ‘keep going’ and ‘keep doing’ as positive advice to continue over the path. Though the transit may seem difficult; unless we stick to the condition with determination, we cannot expect any output. ‘Keep’ does not stand for stagnation or stability. It does not persuade you to keep doing the same thing for the rest of your life, under the pretext of success or satisfaction. Rather it motivates you to eliminate any thoughts of quitting.

   One can change/transform/alter or improvise the strategy to reach the final goal. But, not at the cost of quitting the plan or abandoning the efforts. Unless, we keep doing, there is no point of expecting results. You cannot travel unless you take the first step, likewise you cannot expect gains without investing a single drop of effort.

   It will be easier if I reflect over each of the above four actions separately, while doing what I enjoy the most- writing, pondering, writing and pondering again.

Keep smiling- it works wonders in the least expected ways!

  More than an act of displaying kindness or affection, smile is the fool-proof ice-breaker in almost any situation. It lays the foundation for fruitful interactions by building better communication. And while this caters to the domain of interpersonal skills, smile also radiates love, positivity, happiness and cheer within ourselves. No matter how complicated the situation appears, smile is more of a reliable buddy.

    It may not dissolve the mountain of errors or challenges. Neither can it pose as a short-cut way to gain instant success, but it does lighten the environment in an amazing way. Because at the end, your broad and bright smile will not help you clear the examinations but it will lighten your heart with faith and hope. At the same time, this smile may not even yield any positive results, but then it won’t harm either. There is no point in displaying anger, hatred or irritation. As if the challenge is not difficult enough, your sad feelings or expression will only further add to the chaos.

 Refrain from bitter thoughts or angry expressions and dive into the pool of smiles. Season it with laughter if you can and sense the difference. If a situation is meant to be difficult, challenging and overwhelming, why not smile a bit and see if it helps? And if it is designed to pull you towards failure, no matter how hard you work, why not smile and accept it all with open arms? If you can’t really transform it into success, the least you can do is keep smiling and live right at the center of it all.

Keep doing – only your efforts can translate into results

   Before I continue, here is a little word of caution. ‘Keep doing’ does not stand for wrongdoings or deliberate mistakes. It does not represent acts of hatred or harm that can hurt someone or create havoc. Keep doing things that bring a positive difference.

  ‘Keep doing’ can work in its motive of inspiring us to continue our efforts. Quitting- if things do not seem to turn our way is definitely the easiest way out, but often the most terrible one. Keep doing things that bring you closer to happiness, while filling your hearts with joy. Keep doing what matters the most to you and enjoy the fruits of satisfaction. It may not necessarily go the way you wanted. But, it will definitely teach you something valuable along the way. No efforts can ever be harmful or completely useless. Something good will always emerge from the act, either pointing out the errors or leading you towards the alternative route.

Keep going- the destination is just a couple of blocks away

  Do not take the literal sense of this word, or else you will walk past the destination! On a mindful yet practical note, keep going inspires one to continue the journey. A close relative of ‘keep doing’, this thought too translates into staying determined and focused. Without any traces of perseverance, it is impossible to reach the destination. And, as it commonly happens in 90% of cases, we end up losing our patience, faith or energy at the very last critical moment.

  All our efforts are lost in the bargain, if we cannot stick to the route till the end. No matter how impossible it may seem, it is essential to keep going. Staying still at a point will only drive us nowhere. Instead of fearing failure and dead ends, why not venture a bit and invest some efforts. It will only enlighten us about wrong turns, rather than procrastinating from a stagnant point. Most of our failure stems from overthinking in the head, hence keep going instead of thinking. It does the opposite of deep analysis.

Keep it simple

  This is probably the most common reminder I send to my mind, time and again. Often the glamour and buzz around us drives us to unnecessary expectations or non-essential activities. It prompts us to spice our journey, for the need to be ‘in’ and ‘happening’. Instead I often find happiness and joy in simplicity. As we are programmed to materials, hypes, trends and shine, we tend to believe in their ability to make us happy. We rely over fancy experiences or trendy items to deliver the joy of living. There is no harm in trying out all kind of experiences to enjoy every single step along the way. But it is incorrect to run behind something that appeals to the herd, and not to our head.

  Peer pressure to fit into society is absolutely wrong on every fronts. Hence, plain Jane may be happier than trendy Julie. Simplicity works on every fronts- from lifestyle to beliefs, relationships to ideas, advice to experiences, keeping it simple is the wisest choice. It is only when we learn to eliminate unnecessary complications, the entire picture brightens up in the process. Erasing clouds of complications and shades of complexities can work wonders. Keep life simple and enjoy what it offers. You will be surprised, but the most common cliche – ‘greatest of joy lies in simplest of things’ does make sense.

  Keep up the good work of living life the way it is meant to be. None of us are certified masters to claim the best way, but surely we are happy, experimental projects in the making! Keep smiling, doing, going and striving towards simplicity, rest all will be taken care. 

J: Jokes ‘apart’ or ‘a part’ - just kidding can be ‘just’ too!

   

    To begin with, as a little ignorant kid I always thought jokes were absolutely unnecessary, useless and the greatest time-killers of all. Firmly believing in their childish appeal, I equated them with immaturity. While seriousness and maturity defined elders, I believed jokes were only reserved to entertain little innocent minds. I pictured a fictional world where jokes posed as distractions and laughter as loud blaring noise. Hence, not engaging in them as adults seemed to be the perfect way of embracing adulthood.

    I was always sure that the flavors of jokes and humor are meant to fade with passing time, making us matured and responsible in the world full of elders. There was nothing ‘just’ about ‘just kidding’ or ‘just joking’. But as they say, you cannot test the waves from the shore, I could not gauge the value of laughter and humor as a little child, back then. 

   Experience of adulthood transformed my opinion completely. So much is the significance of humor, laughter, jokes and mischief that it bagged a place in my A-Z series, ringing the next letter ‘J’. These pieces of entertainment represent the perfect balance in life, urging us to be sane, yet stupid at the same time.

   Whether they greet us in the form of funny messages on social media or perfectly timed silly dialogues on screen, whether they originate from the funniest person in our group or quick-witted reply from our loved ones, jokes and their subsequent laughter are extremely essential, to say the least.

What is the fun of meeting your set of people, if you cannot joke, tease or poke at them in any way?

What is the point of calling someone your ‘own’, when you cannot laugh at them openly?

How do you lighten the burden of adulthood, if you cannot laugh at yourself for the silliest goof-ups along the way?

And what is the harm in expressing your love, affection, concern or involvement by kidding with your people?

  As an excuse to answer these questions, do not mock me or pull my leg with some funny words as feedback. This is a serious blog post meant for serious discussion, I do not intend to be the lab-mice as you look for solutions to the above queries. And though the title starts with ‘jokes’, it is not meant to be funny in any way. Hence, read on seriously, as we contemplate over the issue as adults.

(‘Just kidding!!!!’.  I hope I succeeded in my desperate attempt to joke around. If I was able to fool you for at least 1/4^th section of the above lines, you will find me in some party, celebrating my new-found success!)

  On a serious note – jokes, laughter and humor are essential along every step of our life. The amount, meaning, frequency, audience and source will definitely change, but the effect shall remain the same. Jokes lighten up our feelings, changing the perspective towards things. You cannot be stern or serious all the time, in an attempt to be responsible. As lighter parts of life that stand for just nothing, jokes are meant for nothing, but fun. Not everything in life is designed for a purpose, hence enjoy humor as a totally purposeless activity.

     As long as you do not annoy people with some offending humor to pull them down, you are good to go. While you cannot judge the impact of your humor or predict their repetitiveness, every single time, it definitely demands common sense just as any other common conversation. And, while creating jokes is fun, being at the receiver’s end should be equally fun too. At times, it is essential to be absolutely senseless, if that makes any sense. Without judgments, conclusions, comments, offense and meaning, it is necessary to just joke around. After all,  mindless comedy has 'less' attached to 'mind'.

   If the words in this title actually stood for real club with members, I see myself enrolled in the ‘jokes are a part’ one. While my ignorant child-dish version would have joined the ‘jokes apart’ club with pride- maturity and adulthood has finally knocked some sense to take away that sense from somethings. It does not mean you have to create jokes every day or randomly mock at people to show your funny quotient. As long as you can open up to laughter and humor powered by a pure motive, there is nothing to worry about.

  In this sensitive and controversial era, where we can offend someone easily or get offended in return, there are some essential pointers around the domain of humor. Read along as I share four interesting aspects of jokes, more like essential laws of humor from my book of knowledge. These are handy, when the silly joker in me decides to run around, without bothering about the consequences.

1.       Jokes and humor are highly subjective with respect to-

1.       age

2.       gender

3.       caste

4.       creed

5.       race

6.       religion

7.       relationship

8.       lifestyle

9.       mood

10.   time

11.   day

12.   month

13.   year

14.   season

15.   need

16.   desire

17.   situation

18.   circumstance

19.   event

20.   occasion

21.   nationality

22.   culture

23.   history

24.   geography

25.   science

26.   mathematics

… wait, does that list even make any sense? Of course not, usefulness of your jokes and reaction of the recipient are totally unpredictable. Hence, choose your audience wisely and joke around only after you gauge the surroundings, correctly! What is funny for one may not be the same for others. A little common-sense and logic can save you from a bitter after-taste to your sweet jokes.

(Word of caution: No logic works in front of your wife. So, quit any attempts to sound funny, and appreciate her jokes, no matter how sad they seem.

Yes, dear husband, it was meant for you too, ever heard of two birds with one shot?)

2.       If you are talking about something to someone and it turns offensive in the middle of the conversation (sensing their anger); quickly use ‘just kidding’ and two bouts of fake laughter to save you from some dangerous consequences.

(Inspired from my dear better-half who seems to have aced this formula, perfectly)

3.       Before learning how to create jokes, learn how to handle them. Any piece of humor, digested incorrectly can lead to upset conditions, anger, tears and sorrow that may spoil the entire system. Stay quiet for some time and let the wave pass, before you can create something equally funny.

4.       Find your consistent and favorite stock of humor- may be a television series, comedy show, movie or a book. Turn to them when you feel sad, happy, bored, irritated or simply whenever you feel like (my personal favorites and recommendation – serial 'Taarak Mehta ka Ooltah Chasmah' and series 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S')

       Share your take over the same and let us laugh at each other along the way. After all what is the fun of life, without any seasonings of laughter?

P.S: Though these rules are framed for myself, if you ever decide to follow them, DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. Fortunately or unfortunately, if they turn out to be a blunder, do not blame me under any circumstances. I have been highlighting, quoting and repeating ‘just joking’, for a reason.

I: Inner peace fuels your system, refill it as an obvious task to keep going

 How many of you believe in the power of inner mind?

 How many of you believe that your mind is the supplier of love, affection, happiness and peace?

 How many of you believe that peace can strengthen the mind and body to be in a good form always?

And lastly, how many of you believe that inner peace can take your life where it wants to be?

  Pardon me for bombarding you with these philosophical questions, right at the start of my post that rings the next letter ‘I’. But, asking these questions and forcing you to answer them right away will direct you towards the appropriate perspective. 

Answer 'NO': If each of these thoughts mean nothing but random creative ideas of a blogger, you can read along as just another article, only to forget it as soon as you complete doing so. 

Answer 'YES': But if you resonate with it in any way and consider them to be true, we can agree to contemplate together, reaching some beneficial conclusion till the end.

   Before I wave the green flag to my train of thoughts, it is essential to define my version of ‘inner peace’. Unlike ‘peace’ that depends over situations, circumstances, people and surroundings, inner peace does not need anything or anyone, except ‘you’ alone.

 It is the state of stability, silence, happiness and satisfaction which sprouts from within. It finds its roots in the deepest corner of your own heart, inspiring you to take the lead. 

"Inner peace is finding your purpose on this planet, figuring out what makes you happy and how do you achieve it." This does not translate to ‘selfishness’ or loneliness’ in any way, but it prompts you to love yourself, before you extend that branch to someone else.

    Despite difficult situations and challenges around you, inner peace forces you to think with a stable state. It is similar to a vial of energy booster that reaches the mind, instead of the body. While choosing mind over body, inner peace flexes the muscles that think, believe, trust and analyze.

 If inner peace is as useful as it sounds, how do we know we bagged it? And if it really fuels our system for beneficial output, how can we be assured of its presence?

    Ability to shut our mind from the chaos of outer world defines inner peace. If we are able to stay quiet even for few minutes, without worrying, analyzing, contemplating or fussing over whatever happens, we are at inner peace. While it may seem impossible to expect such a state of mind amidst the mountain of responsibilities, duties, targets and tasks, it is not so unless we make a sincere attempt. Like any other task that demands our efforts and time, inner peace needs it too. 

  We need to commit to the act of being peaceful, while connecting with the inner mind in whichever way we can. While outer chaos and challenges can disturb the stability of our system, inner peace prompts us to stay strong. It does not extend to problems alone, inner peace also caters to what and how people think about us. Human mind tends to judge people and situations within the limited capacity of their understanding. What people interpret and conclude over your course will not be useful, beneficial or true, yet absolutely unavoidable. 

    It is impossible to transform their thoughts or prove your point by defending at every possible opportunity. You may have a clarification over their doubts, but will it always reach at the right time, to the right person, in the right manner? Instead of justifying your stand on a stage to people who don’t really have anything at stake, take the opportunity to connect with your inner self. As long as you know the motive of doing some things in a certain way, the rest does not matter. Inner peace is what keeps you going, when everyone else attempts to disturb, bother or simply doubt you in every possible way.

     Thoughts mean nothing unless they are polished with a practical essence. If I continue preaching about the significance of inner peace, without offering some practical ways to do so, it can be discarded as just another advice, too good to be true. Read along as I offer my two cents over the guide to inner peace.

1.       Pick your exercise for inner peace

       Pre-requisites: 

ü  must be a solo act

ü  should involve minimum physical work

ü  should give you space to be lost in your world

ü  should not depend on others to accomplish the task

ü  should be chosen by yourself

ü  the final aim should be inner peace, hence do not pollute it with sense of achievement, laurels, credits, certificates or medals to show it off to others

Suggestions:  meditation, breathing exercises, listening to instrumental music, simply closing your eyes and staying silent

2.       Practice this same activity every day, at the same time and in the same way. Pick a practical duration (10-20 minutes). Stick to the schedule as much as you can. Allow concessions only for major change in circumstances.

3.       Do not evaluate or analyze whether the activity benefits you right away. Give it some time (2-3 months) to connect with your inner chords.

4.       Stay away from distractions. Everything around you can wait, while you are it.

5.       Shut out stray thoughts about family, people, work, surroundings and concentrate on the sole activity of being peaceful

     No matter how busy your schedule looks like or how significant your job/position/role/responsibility appears to be, each one must refill their system with inner peace for the obvious choice to live a fulfilled, happy and satisfied life. 10-20 long minutes of this peaceful activity may seem selfish, but it will indirectly improve your approach with the outer world. Remember the primary aim is not to prove it to others, but to work for yourself, on yourself and by yourself. As long as these fields are filled up, the rest does not matter.

Refill inner peace to keep going, after all how good can the engine be without any fuel to power it up!

         

P.S:  Though it may appear simple, usual and routine task, it is definitely not as easy as it sounds. Make an attempt and share your experiences as together we can do some good for ourselves. 

H: Here it is now; pause the chase and savor the moment, before you jump to the next ‘it’.

   When I first thought of framing this A-Z series, I was sure each letter would start with a noun. As it is meant to reflect a significant aspect of my life, it was obvious that only a noun could do the necessary justice. Hence using an adverb ‘Here’, instead of conventional words ‘Happiness’, ‘Honesty’ or ‘Hope’ for ‘H’ demanded lot of contemplation and reasoning. As I attempted to convince myself about an unusual word, I realized that it meant something worthy enough to go against all odds. Thus, the birth of this off-beat post with a novel start.

   Unless we come across any life changing experience, we refuse to adopt necessary corrections into our system. We may know about its need, benefits, value and glory, yet find it difficult to bring it within. Only when it presents a larger picture, do we realize the need to attend to it. One such close experience and life changes for good. If only we decide to find the hidden message behind circumstances, we can appreciate why it came to us in the first place.

   This brings us to the‘here’, ‘now’ and ‘it’. In the race against time, we always find ourselves in our running shoes. As we ascend one step at a time to the next rung on the ladder, we realize that the goal is still further away. While living our dream and meeting our targets, it is impossible to rest or give up. The good, better and best is always ‘yet to come’, making it essential to focus and concentrate.

    No matter how many deadlines you meet, there are always some more, waiting in the wing. By the time you experience a sense of satisfaction, you may be clouded by plans, ideas and strategies for the next one. This kind of engagement is absolutely essential. Unless we have goals to look forward to, we cannot extract the joy of living. Staying occupied with targets ensures hard work and happiness. It is what drives you to get out of a cozy warm bed on a cold morning. Without any aim or without any plan, we may be nothing but wanderers in a wide forest.

 But, is it essential to run behind things, without halting for a while to appreciate and celebrate?

Why are we so engrossed in planning about the future step, way before we savor the present?

Why does the next milestone seem so amazing, that we forget the joy of reaching the current one?

Why do we tend to think that our settled or retired life will be satisfying, when our present one could also be the same?

And why do we run to reach the next step, when we can stroll and appreciate every step on the way?

  Right from childhood, we are programmed to think about the future. It unknowingly shapes our thought process to imagine that the best is yet to come. There is definitely nothing wrong in harboring dreams for the grand life ahead, but not at the cost of forgetting to live today. When we reflect over the journey so far, we remember the memories and moments, than the struggle that brought us here. Instead of worrying about every future step for the fear of failing, why don’t we concentrate on the present?

   If you are one of those who always valued their present moment over the future and continue to do so, take a bow. Not everyone is programmed to live in the ‘here’ and ‘now’... at least I never was.

 For me, the future always appeared tempting, mysterious, huge and essential, taking away every possible bit of energy. Like a mirage that offers hope of water on a barren dessert, the ‘there’ and ‘then’ appeared more appealing. We tend to run behind that false water, forgetting to appreciate the scenery around. The ‘now’ may not be as you hoped, but it is something that is happening ‘live’. Those precious moments will not return back, if we waste them over analysis and strategies.

  The ‘it’ in title is different for each one. For some it may mean money, position, status, adventure, experiences, happiness or assets. It can be anything for anyone and none of it is right, wrong, correct or incorrect. But, what is incorrect is failing to pause, halt, appreciate and enjoy. Soak in the present moment, only then will your ‘today’ be as colorful as the most awaited next ‘holiday’. 

   No job is the ultimate one, no house is the final one or no lifestyle is the perfect one. We all desire for something more or different from the existing. It is good to stay so in order to progress ahead, but not unless you concentrate on enjoying the present. Your humble home now may not be as large/comfortable/desired as the one you have planned, but it still covers your head. Appreciate what lies ‘here’ and ‘now’, only then ‘there’ will be good too.

   What is the way to do so? Read along as I chart some pointers for my dreamy heart and restless mind. Share your take over the same, while I convince my life to be ‘here’ and ‘now’.

1.       Be present- physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and ‘thought’ lly

2.       Spend every single day as a unique project – accept the good, bad, wanted, unwanted and every single feeling with open mind

3.       Focus and concentrate on the task in hand

4.       Don’t live in your thoughts. Thinking is a task too, hence designate time to ‘think’, rather than running it as a background score, along every other job

5.       Communicate your thoughts

6.       Listening to others is also a task

7.       Respond when asked to, stay away from judgements and analysis

8.       Over thinking is totally unproductive, invest that energy in doing than dreaming

9.       Everything will fall in place, but not the current moment, it demands your attention and focus

10.   No task is small, hence respect everything you do and give your 100%

11.   Some things can wait, hence pause your chase to celebrate, appreciate, love and laugh

12.   You cannot wipe out your past errors, mistakes, misunderstandings or worries, then why regret? Let it go, make sure to avoid a repeat telecast.

13.   Take lessons to be happy. Though the easiest task within our reach, we fail to learn and practice it. Make it a priority to be happy, schedule it in your task-list. Make it your own, before you feel alien, unusual, unbelievable or weird to be happy.

 This is the location and now is the time to do what you always wanted. Future is bright but not unless you switch on the light in the present. Spread smiles, laugh more, radiate happiness and feel the difference, because that is all you can do here and now! 

G: Global warming is right at our doorstep, let’s attend to it before it invades into our lives- forcefully, forever.

   Before I even started with the A,B,C… of this series, I was absolutely sure of the letter ‘G’. As the series is designed to focus on aspects that matter to me, it was impossible to miss out ‘Global warming’. With a life partner who talks about optimum utilization of natural resources at every possible moment in our household, it was only fair to include it. While global warming is a universal event, impacting every single life form on this earth; it is essential to think, analyze, ACT and contribute our share in every possible way.

   I will not make it a scientific article with facts and figures. Also, I do not intend to write an informational piece with analysis, reasoning, world-wide effects or prevention measures. When I chose to include it in my series, the idea was to see how you and I can make a little difference too. It is absolutely impossible to change the world by a single moment of awakening. Like single drops of ocean, you and I are mere particles of the universe. Hence, expecting major transformation by our thoughts or actions alone is totally impossible, to say the least. But then, particles form the universe and universe is ours.

With that thought in mind, why can’t we make a little difference within our power?

 What is the harm in making an attempt to work for the environment in our capacity?

And finally, even if our efforts do nothing great, at least they won’t hurt our mother nature.

Let’s face it, you and I are not the sole warriors of this earth, but if each one of us thought the same, where will we find ourselves, some years down the line?

  We cannot guarantee any concrete output through our humble efforts to save the environment. Neither can we preach these ideas to others with the understanding that it will be absolutely useful. This makes it incorrect to frame the post in a preachy mode. I can be labelled as a ‘hypocrite’, if I use a third-person perspective and expect others to follow, instead of making some efforts, myself. Hence, rather than penning down a list of instructions or useful steps to protect the environment; I will share my set of efforts for the same.

   These efforts are born with an aim to contribute something good for our mother earth. They may be useful, useless, good, harmless or just random acts. The aim is not to garner appreciation or medals for the environmental cause, but to address the giant trouble of ‘global warming’ on a household scale. 

We completely understand that our efforts within a tiny dwelling in little corner of the earth will not make any difference at all. Useful or useless, the effect is not as important as the thought behind it. Besides, sharing my practical ideas does not mean I succeed in adhering to them always. As human as I can be, I often fail to practice what I preach. Though I cannot guarantee this adherence to the last bit, I always remind myself about the bigger picture. Hence, failure or success is not significant, but doing my own bit definitely is.

  While I write our steps/ideas/plan to attend to this issue of global warming, the underlying thought is to ponder and share. In no way, do I intend to shoot out set of instructions for others to follow. As long as the eco-friendly team mate (read: my husband) and his sole sincere partner (read: me) are able to do something good, the outcome will be nothing less than ‘good’.

These are the set of instructions or reminders, penned over our personal notice board. Take a peek into our house board, as we strive to follow these steps. Do send your feedback, ideas, views or comments to make this earth, a better place to live.

1.       Limit the usage of paper as much as possible – use washcloths for cleaning, avoid printouts, use blank side of prints.

2.       Segregate milk cans, cardboard boxes, paper and plastic from rest of the trash and discard them in recycle bins

3.       Limit generation of waste as much as possible- recycle and reuse as much as we can  

4.       Use steel bottles for drinking water and glass container for water storage

5.       Limit wastage of water and electricity- shut down wi-fi router at night, remove plugs from the plug-points, when not in use

6.       Use machines only after collecting full load of clothes

7.       Avoid disposable plates, cups, glasses

8.       Maintain potted plants in the balcony, water them with recycled water from kitchen or bathroom

Remind each other to follow all the steps and point out as soon as one falls off the track. After all, it poses as an opportunity to remind the better-half that he/she is not always the ‘better’ one!

These are some of the reminders set for our household. Though we often fail to follow them to the ‘T’, we make all possible efforts to stick to the rules. Let us help the environment and attend to the trouble at our doorstep. Only after we realize that ‘global warming’ is not an alien issue from another planet, but a domestic trouble of our own house; we will be able to act over it.

F: Forgive and forget, drop and move ahead, how long will you hold it, anyways?

    All it takes are some little efforts to come closer to the magic of our world around. After starting this A-Z series, I realized the power of every alphabet. As I ponder from one letter to the next, I am amazed by the variety of words that hold some significance in our journey through life. This has brought me to the next contender ‘F’. 

   

   The letter ‘F’ has some interesting charm to its credit, after all it holds the most desired ‘fame’ and ‘fortune’. And how can one forget, the greatest of all words – father, family or friends. Hence, framing a title with this ‘F’ was no big task at all. I could have picked any of the above words to begin my usual course of thinking and writing, but then, regular is routine, and routine is boring. To appeal my creative juices, I needed something different, and thus the title in question ‘forgive’ and ‘forget’.

  We all have been hearing these two words, right since our childhood. When we fought with our siblings or friends over every possible silly reason (though extremely important at that point of time), we were reminded about the power of this concept. Call it fear of elders or possibility of punishment, we immediately accepted the mantra ‘forgive’ and forget’, only to resume the course of our happiness and enjoyment.

   As little innocent kids, forgiving people around us was more like a simple task in routine than a matter of pride or self-esteem. As ego, selfishness, cunning attitude or jealousy were at bay, it did not matter, if our dear ones made some mistake or bothered us in any way. All it took was ‘sorry’, smile and probably a chocolate to be back on track again. Knowingly or unknowingly, even if we were bad to our friends or siblings, it did not turn into a permanent dent in the relationship.

  So, is it the same, today? Is it possible to forgive and forget, the way we did during our days of chocolates and toffees? 

Can we follow the same mantra over broken promises or words full of hatred, even now? Can we forget the anger of our loved ones, or hurtful words spoken out of rage, that meant nothing at all? 

Is it possible to forget about the past easily, and move over as if nothing really happened? And finally, can a sorry, smile and chocolate (read: your favorite treat), solve everything?

  I enjoy framing questions because it is easier than hunting for answers! But, on a serious note, this post is more of a self-realization exercise than some philosophical article. It is an assignment for the so-called ‘matured’ individual in each one of us. These questions are directed towards the ‘adult’ in our system who enjoys preaching, but fails to practice. It is designed to trigger our pride and prompt us to look at the innocence in the world around.

   Forgive and forget is definitely not as easy as it sounds. It is difficult to forget bad experiences in the past or bad behavior of our own people that must have hampered us in some way. But then, it is equally important to discard it as a matter of yesterday, only to improve our today. Holding to errors, mistakes, mishaps or accidents of the past will not assist you in every way. 

    Going forward, you will need more of a clear slate than a dirty one. If wiping or erasing is an option, why will you preserve those useless stray marks on your board? You may not have been around when those marks were made, but what stops you from wiping it now for your own good? If forgiving someone seems too difficult or weighs above your pride, do it as a favor to yourself. You may be holding a grudge to teach someone a lesson, but unknowingly that hatred pushes you down. It can turn into a self-harming object, much before we realize its consequences.

  Holding such disturbing happenings of the past will only trouble you in the long run. It may seem impossible, overwhelming or simply out of our usual behavior to forgive someone. In that case, why not forget it? If erasing is difficult, you can simply keep the board aside. Forgiving may take time, but you can definitely forget it. If forgiving may seem out of your way, the least you can do is just ‘forget’ in order to walk ahead.

    Blame it over to the emotional shade of our palette that reminds us about the errors of the past. Blame it over to the human in us, for our stock of mistakes and errors. We are not heavenly figures to be perfect each time. We may unknowingly speak ill or behave badly, but only to realize it the next morning, for a fresh start. Apologize and bounce back because losing relations over some circumstantial accidents is truly not worth it. In no way, does this thought promote ‘taking for granted’ policy. Hurting someone intentionally, just to wash it down with a ‘sorry’ is not correct. But, there is always room for some accidental error that is more of a situational side-effect than a planned activity.

     It is easy to hold the lamp for someone else and guide them over the path, but difficult to follow the same. No wonder, we can turn into one of the best counselors for our closed clan, but cannot counsel our own mind.

    Even after all these philosophical discussions, if forgiving seems out of question, you have another option of leaving it all to time. As time works its magic, it will make you realize that it does not matter at all. All that anger, hatred, misunderstandings, differences were nothing but dust particles, gone away with the wind. But again, this option is not always the feasible one. If you let ‘time’ take the driver’s seat, it may be too late to make any change. Before your opportunity turns into regret, take the charge and make a difference.

   Forgive your loved ones, forget those bitter experiences and stop bothering about any undesired hiccups of the past. Life is too precious to waste it over anger, hatred or fights. Take the “I won’t talk to you” or “I won’t forgive and forget” to “It’s all okay, don’t bother” and feel the difference.

P.S: Charity begins at home, so forgive me if I ever hurt you readers in any way; feel free to forgive, forget, write a thought, feedback, comment or simply ignore! 

E: Experiences measure the ‘LIFE’ in your life, gain more to live more

   Taking the A-Z series ahead, letter ‘E’ is the next piece of my attention. When I thought about the appropriate word for this alphabet, I did not have to ponder for long. Experience is probably the most common word in our vocabulary circuit for a couple of reasons. Though this act of gathering experiences was common in the good, old years too, it has gained more attention in the recent times.

  Firstly, growing influence of social media has given us a royal privilege to present and visualize activities in greater details. From travel to food, adventure to hobbies, as this personalized broadcasting instrument allows you to download and upload, the value of ‘experiences’ has increased in the process.

   Secondly, carefree attitude of the millennial generation has promoted the domain of experiences. Unlike the previous clan that believed in a typical timeline with stress over stability, millennials choose to differ on several fronts. Instead of so-called fool-proof plans of a settled life, as younger generation tend to fall for unique experiences and novel adventures, there are several differences along the way.

   But, how does this new-age mantra of millennials relate to my post? Or what relevance does it hold with respect to my confusing title? How can someone measure the life in their life? And how do ‘experiences’ calculate our life quotient? To answer these questions, I will need your ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking. As creative arts tend to lean towards an abstract approach, I will urge you to think beyond the usual. When I write these pieces, I believe in experimentation and novelty, hence you may either disagree with the thought or end up relating with it at several levels.

    Experiences are classically defined as close encounters or practical contacts with a particular activity. They may be good, bad, desirable, undesirable, amazing, repeatable or simply worth attempting. These experiences measure our life quotient as they take us towards the diverse elements of the world. 

  

    Be it cuisine or travel, occupation or leisure, experiences pull us closer to the sea of adventures. It prompts us to try out something new, while embracing the joy behind uncertainty. If we only stick to a regular routine all our life, we cannot draw fun and happiness from the process of ‘living’. Experiences urge us to be bold, daring, confident and happy all at once. It evaluates our ability to survive in unexpected circumstances.

   Experiences definitely measure how well you live. While age measures the numerical aspect of one’s journey, experiences evaluate the fun associated with it. So, if age caters to the ‘how many’ part of the question, experiences address the ‘how well’ end of it. This makes it essential to gather numerous experiences along your way. And while you are at it, do so for your own happiness. 

  Though they measure how happening your journey is, it is for your own good. In the process of presenting a happy face, do not imitate someone else’s course. As each one of us have a unique route, our experiences and adventures are unique too. Comparing your life with others or expecting same amount of adventures will only add disappointment down the line. Find your own adventure fix and set on an eventful course to bag some more.

   While experiences are known for their vast doses of fun, they also pose as valuable lessons in disguise. Experiences push us away from our comfort zones, making us fearless. Another aspect of experience that deserves consideration is the ‘practical’ side of it. Though you can always learn from someone else’s encounters and seek guidance; it is unacceptable to draw conclusions, unless you try your own hands at it.

    In the classic war between assets and experiences, I always believe experiences have an upper hand. Though assets represent stability, investment and maturity, they cannot offer the same amount of happiness as experiences. This definitely calls for an optimum balance between the two. As long as you are able to segregate expenses between these two groups, you can expect a fun-filled and fulfilling picture.

  With this thought in mind, think about your unique experiences and calculate your ‘life’ quotient. Do this mental calculation for your own good, and come up with options to boost it. Do something fun, different, exciting and adventurous. Routine is for survival, while unique is for thrill and fun. There is no right or wrong way about it. Gather experiences to fill your lives with joy and spread the cheer around.

    Do share your thoughts and enlighten me with a feedback. Together we can measure, evaluate, analyze and rejoice, after all it boils down to our ‘life’. And going by the title, if it will evaluate how well you actually live, why take a chance? Buckle up, celebrate, experience and enjoy the roller coaster ride, because it only gets better and better! 

D: DOs and DON’Ts of an interesting joyride

    After A for acceptance, B for bothering and C for celebrate, it’s time for the next letter ‘D’. Taking my A-Z series ahead, I am back with my pondering, once again. For those of you who have not read the start of this series, my aim is to take one alphabet each time and talk about an important aspect that matters to me. And hence that brings us to the letter D.

  When I was thinking about this don of letters ‘D’, I could not resist the usage of word ‘Do’. After all doing is action and action is output. Hence, I was tempted to involve ‘dos and don’ts in an attempt to list out actions that are significant. I could have simply titled this article as ‘Dos and Don’ts of life (from my perspective, of course!) because that is exactly what I wish to pen down. Things that make life happy, joyous, adventurous and delightful versus things that make it miserable, boring, uneventful and dry.

     It is necessary to highlight ‘my perspective’ as these are some of the aspects that I truly care about. And since we all are entitled to our own opinion - you can agree, disagree, debate or nod over it, the way you like. Coming back to the title, I did not name it  DOs and DON'Ts of life, because life is just not as simple as it reads and spells. Four letters of two vowels and two consonants cannot describe this eventful process that has its own share of ups and downs. We laugh, cry, smile, joke, hate or get angry over it, yet we cannot truly explain what it stands for.

     While journey, story, plot and project are some of the commonly used synonyms for life, it is impossible to agree on a single word. Hence, when I call it a ‘joyride’, there is nothing right or wrong about it. After finding a correct noun, I could not leave it standing alone without any appropriate adjective and hence in comes the partner ‘interesting’.  I am simply in love with this word ‘interesting’ as there is lot of mystery behind it. It all depends on how you look at it because interesting can mean good, bad, imaginable, unpredictable or totally wonderful all at once. Talk about benefit of doubt as interesting truly takes the cake in that respect.

  Finally, after hunting a metaphor for life, it is time to list the DOs and DON’Ts. Such an article mirrors my thoughts and poses as a reminder for my own conduct. I do not intend to preach or be your next self-help guru. These DOs and DON'Ts are solely addressed to my little mind. If some of them do happen to match with your thoughts, I will be more than happy. As you read along, analyze and evaluate your take over the same. Prepare a matching score and let us see how well we resonate (If I reveal about a prize for the maximum matching score, will it count as a bribe?!?) Prize or no prize, do send your comments and feedback as we ponder about this joyride together.

DOs

1.       Live in the present - past is not in your hands anymore and you cannot put a claim over the future right away, so make the most of this present. Work hard today instead of fussing over what or how to work tomorrow.

2.       Have fun in everything you do. Enjoy your work, leisure, responsibilities, duties and chores. Extract colorful joy from every single act and you will be surprised by this difference in attitude.

3.       Respect the difference in opinions. Do agree to disagree. What you believe in or what belief you hold about something may not be same for all, hence enjoy these disagreements too.

4.       Find your passion and work on it. Figure out your hobbies and interests. Engage in activities you enjoy and spend that well deserved time for yourself. ‘Me-time’ is like a battery that charges you, hence it is unacceptable to ignore it.

5.       Listen to advice, suggestions, ideas and tips. Seek guidance from people around you. Be open to their experiences and adventures. Their situations may not mimic yours, but their lessons will definitely teach you something too.

6.       Respect people around you irrespective of their age, gender, nationality, occupation, religion or faith. Above all these invisible boundaries that separate us, we all are humans with eyes, ears, body, brain and a big heart.

7.       Respond to changing situations. Be flexible in your approach. Rigidity over certain aspects may not yield any good results. Accept the situation and find your way out, rather than crying over things beyond your reach.

8.       Love yourself, communicate with your thoughts. Listen to your inner voice and make yourself a priority too. It may be difficult in light of your responsibilities, duties, schedule and fast paced life, but definitely not impossible to say the least.

9.       Express your thoughts. Show what and how you feel. Express your emotions, feelings and ideas. Open your heart to people you love and let them share their feelings too. Bottling your feelings or agreeing to everything under the pretext of ‘being a good or sincere person’ will do more harm than expected.

DON’Ts

1.       Do not blame people or situations for your own course. Certain unavoidable changes may alter your plans but ultimately it is up to you to find a way out or sit and blame someone else for the rest of your time.

2.       Do not take relationships and friendships for granted. You may not have time for your people right away or may be stuck in some unavoidable job, in such cases revert back whenever you can. Do not play with their trust, patience, good will and love.

3.       Do not get distracted by unnecessary elements of disturbance. Take criticism positively and pay attention to feedback. You may disagree with what people think about you. It is not your responsibility to sit and defend yourself, every single time. At times, let your actions speak.

4.       Do not compare your life with others. It is absolutely novel, unique, different, one-of-a-kind,…add as many synonyms as you like. Just as your likes and dislikes about food or fashion are different, so are your priorities, goals and timelines.

5.       Do not pressurize yourself or be too hard over your course. It is fine to be lazy or bored sometimes. There is nothing wrong about your mistakes and failure, but it is absolutely wrong if you give up. Enjoy failure too, it will prepare you for the hardships ahead.

6.       Do not make judgments about people and their actions. You have not even walked a single step in their shoes, hence it is totally unacceptable to comment or draw conclusions.

7.       Do not limit or restrict your life within boundaries of your own city, country, culture or cuisine. Learn new languages, travel, read about diverse cultures or know interesting facts from people.

8.       Do not live like a robot, machine or tree. Move away if you don’t like something. There are no instruction manuals for your functioning. Do not obsess over your things or beliefs. It is acceptable to try out something new. Take risks and make the most of every opportunity.

9.       Do not worry about each and everything. Your worries, tensions and anxious thoughts will only fill the space with useless contents. It is impossible to train your mind to stop worrying, but you can definitely lower the volume, frequency and weight.

I completely agree that these dos and don’ts are easier said than done, or in this case easier written than followed. They sound fancy, amazing and completely appropriate as you read them in a blog or an article. But, when we make an attempt to implement them in our real lives- it is difficult, overwhelming and sometimes impossible; if we want to be absolutely true. Then again, there is no harm in making efforts. If we use them as guidelines and toil towards at least 10% of it, we may experience something colorful and bright. 

Until I return back with the next alphabet- happy reading, thinking and living!