All it takes are some little efforts to come closer to the
magic of our world around. After starting this A-Z series, I realized the power
of every alphabet. As I ponder from one letter to the next, I am amazed by the variety
of words that hold some significance in our journey through life. This has brought
me to the next contender ‘F’.
The letter ‘F’ has some interesting charm to its
credit, after all it holds the most desired ‘fame’ and ‘fortune’. And how can
one forget, the greatest of all words – father, family or friends. Hence,
framing a title with this ‘F’ was no big task at all. I could have picked any of
the above words to begin my usual course of thinking and writing, but then, regular
is routine, and routine is boring. To appeal my creative juices, I needed something
different, and thus the title in question ‘forgive’ and ‘forget’.
We all have been
hearing these two words, right since our childhood. When we fought with our
siblings or friends over every possible silly reason (though extremely
important at that point of time), we were reminded about the power of this
concept. Call it fear of elders or possibility of punishment, we immediately accepted
the mantra ‘forgive’ and forget’, only to resume the course of our happiness
and enjoyment.
As little innocent
kids, forgiving people around us was more like a simple task in routine than a
matter of pride or self-esteem. As ego, selfishness, cunning attitude or jealousy
were at bay, it did not matter, if our dear ones made some mistake or bothered
us in any way. All it took was ‘sorry’, smile and probably a chocolate to be
back on track again. Knowingly or unknowingly, even if we were bad to our
friends or siblings, it did not turn into a permanent dent in the relationship.
So, is it the same,
today? Is it possible to forgive and forget, the way we did during our days of
chocolates and toffees?
Can we follow the same mantra over broken promises or
words full of hatred, even now? Can we forget the anger of our loved ones, or
hurtful words spoken out of rage, that meant nothing at all?
Is it possible to
forget about the past easily, and move over as if nothing really happened? And finally,
can a sorry, smile and chocolate (read: your favorite treat), solve everything?
I enjoy framing
questions because it is easier than hunting for answers! But, on a serious
note, this post is more of a self-realization exercise than some philosophical article.
It is an assignment for the so-called ‘matured’ individual in each one of us. These
questions are directed towards the ‘adult’ in our system who enjoys preaching,
but fails to practice. It is designed to trigger our pride and prompt us to
look at the innocence in the world around.
Forgive and forget
is definitely not as easy as it sounds. It is difficult to forget bad
experiences in the past or bad behavior of our own people that must have hampered
us in some way. But then, it is equally important to discard it as a matter of
yesterday, only to improve our today. Holding to errors, mistakes, mishaps or
accidents of the past will not assist you in every way.
Going forward, you will
need more of a clear slate than a dirty one. If wiping or erasing is an option,
why will you preserve those useless stray marks on your board? You may not have
been around when those marks were made, but what stops you from wiping it now for
your own good? If forgiving someone seems too difficult or weighs above your
pride, do it as a favor to yourself. You may be holding a grudge to teach
someone a lesson, but unknowingly that hatred pushes you down. It can turn into
a self-harming object, much before we realize its consequences.
Holding such
disturbing happenings of the past will only trouble you in the long run. It may
seem impossible, overwhelming or simply out of our usual behavior to forgive
someone. In that case, why not forget it? If erasing is difficult, you can
simply keep the board aside. Forgiving may take time, but you can definitely forget
it. If forgiving may seem out of your way, the least you can do is just ‘forget’
in order to walk ahead.
Blame it over to
the emotional shade of our palette that reminds us about the errors of the
past. Blame it over to the human in us, for our stock of mistakes and errors.
We are not heavenly figures to be perfect each time. We may unknowingly speak
ill or behave badly, but only to realize it the next morning, for a fresh
start. Apologize and bounce back because losing relations over some circumstantial
accidents is truly not worth it. In no way, does this thought promote ‘taking
for granted’ policy. Hurting someone intentionally, just to wash it down with a
‘sorry’ is not correct. But, there is always room for some accidental error
that is more of a situational side-effect than a planned activity.
It is easy to hold the lamp for someone else
and guide them over the path, but difficult to follow the same. No wonder, we
can turn into one of the best counselors for our closed clan, but cannot
counsel our own mind.
Even after all these philosophical discussions,
if forgiving seems out of question, you have another option of leaving it all
to time. As time works its magic, it will make you realize that it does not
matter at all. All that anger, hatred, misunderstandings, differences were
nothing but dust particles, gone away with the wind. But again, this option is
not always the feasible one. If you let ‘time’ take the driver’s seat, it may
be too late to make any change. Before your opportunity turns into regret, take
the charge and make a difference.
Forgive your loved
ones, forget those bitter experiences and stop bothering about any undesired hiccups
of the past. Life is too precious to waste it over anger, hatred or fights.
Take the “I won’t talk to you” or “I won’t forgive and forget” to “It’s all
okay, don’t bother” and feel the difference.
P.S: Charity begins at home, so forgive me if I ever hurt you readers in any way; feel free to forgive, forget, write a thought,
feedback, comment or simply ignore!
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