One can’t live, with or without ‘you’…

   

     Curious to know, what does this ‘you’ stand for? What object does it represent or which particular person/relation does it talk about? Before I dive into the thought and continue my pondering, let me start by saying - this post is not a scientific one; explaining the need of food, water, oxygen or heartbeat necessary for our survival. It does not represent ‘money’ or ‘assets’, though they do qualify as essential factors for our existence. This post is about the dearest better half, whom we label as our ‘spouse’ or ‘life partner’. It is about the perfect ‘imperfect’ person who chooses to stay with us for a lifetime. After digging into the wonderful relationship of parenthood in my last post, it was time to explore the beauty of yet another bond that means the world to us.

    After 22 months of marital bliss, I was tempted to analyze this relation that seems unusual, yet exciting at the same time. As a carefree single enjoying the freedom of life, I always thought to myself,

‘How can one spend their entire life with another person, just to gain membership into this mandatory institution called ‘marriage’?

‘Whether love or arranged, how does this relation ensure happiness, peace and all the wonders that it claims to offer?

‘Though, everyone often mock about the troubles of a married life, why are more and more people curious to jump into this pool and swim for a lifetime?’

    It is only after you experience it yourself, when the reality of this relation spreads it aura. A wonderful partnership with a person you love, this bond is about the little fights, but big smiles. It is the only relationship where you can disagree on any aspect, yet stand together as a team, while facing the world. An all-in-one package of friendship, romance, competition, disagreement, understanding and maturity, one cannot stay away from the beauty of this bond. Though we may find numerous reasons to joke, gossip, complain and discuss over this interesting part of our lives, we cannot live without such a trusted friend.

    Life-partner is that person who can point your mistakes with honest truth and force you to look at the other side of the coin. This relation does not translate into complete agreement over every aspect, but it certainly stands for enjoying the disagreements. Though your life partner may annoy you with their beliefs, principles, habits and mannerism, there is happiness in their contrast views too. Unknowingly, one falls in love with these differences to celebrate a lifetime, filled with surprises and novelties.

   Back to the title of the post, this interesting relationship is marked by numerous ups and downs. It resembles a roller coaster ride. Right from the moment you promise to live as partners (after a grand celebration of course!) to every step along the way, this journey offers total surprises. From peaceful moments where you completely fall in love with your sweetheart, while counting your blessings to heated moments filled with anger, disagreement, irritation and sorrow; this journey is about ‘expecting the unexpected’. For one moment, we may celebrate their presence, appreciating our life; only to be followed by a moment, where we may think about the difficulties to live together. Though these complaints enter into our lives quite often, the beauty lies in their sudden disappearance.

    I am always tempted to associate this relationship with the word ‘interesting’, because every single aspect about this bond surprises me. Though 22 months are long enough to get a hold of it, this marital bliss continues to teach me along the way. Amidst happy experiences with big, broad smiles to not-so-happy moments, the journey is totally worth it. 

   After spending some crucial years of your life as a single individual, when life offers this opportunity to stay with a partner, it does add purpose to your existence. Marriage is always connected with terms such as ‘sacrifice’, ‘compromise’ and ‘togetherness’, though these terms may seem too superficial to be true, they do bring out the best in the relation. The decision to spend your life with someone else is the key that ensures a smooth ride ahead.

  Unless, I dig into some common myths associated with this wonderful marital bond, I cannot justify my post. Let me share some of the stereotypical myths about this perfectly ‘imperfect’ bond, while you offer your feedback about the same!

1.       Marriage ends your individuality: Totally untrue by all means, this myth can scare singles away. Marriage does not end your individuality, instead it offers you a friend, critic, guide and teacher for your tasks and ambition. It provides you a ‘partner-in-crime’ to be yourself forever.

2.       Marriage means complete agreement: It is impossible to match your beliefs with another individual as an instant side effect to your marital vows. Though you agree to support each other, you may still disagree with their thoughts. Marriage simply means an agreement to disagree, whenever necessary.

3.       Married couples must socialize with same friends: Marriage cannot take you away from your set of friends. You can still continue with your usual course of life, like before. Though marriage does expand your social circle, it does not demand sacrifice of your older ties.

4.       Married couples should enjoy same activities or must have loads to talk about: Marriage cannot change your hobbies, interests and ambitions. Suddenly, you may not enjoy the same activities, just because they are enjoyed by your better half. It can certainly expand your horizon, but it cannot transform you completely.

This puts an end to the wonderful tale of a sweet-sour relation. Do send in your comments, feedback, experiences and beliefs to celebrate the bond of ‘love’.  

P.S: Dear husband, Thank you for being such a sport, while reading the draft. You have truly inspired this post in every way, because I am sure, neither one of us can live, with or without ‘us’!